View source for Oogneiss

Oogneiss is a rock found in the deepest and darkest depths of our real mother Earth! We're not sure what it does. No information on its [[structure]]. It could be a new [[element]] or something, but really we just don't gosh darn know. I'm sorry. But we're really good at coming up with stories to explain things, right? Here we go!! In the beginning, there was... darkness... and then... I made light?? Haha, I don't know what I'm doing, man... 
[[File:Oogneiss.png|thumb|Anything could happen!]]

==Instructions==
Don't drop this in [[body of water|bodies of water.]] Don't put this near [[placental mammal|placental mammals]]. Don't bring this to the [[UN]]. Don't look at [[Chicken_Game|this.]] Don't forget to drink your [[water]]. Don't put this *in* the water. Don't do anything with this, for the [[love of God]]. Please don't try to get [[energy]] from [[it]].

[[Lens|Lenses]] made of oogneiss are found to be able to [[focus]] light in such a manner that every physically imperceptible flaw in a [[specimen]] is magnified [[exponentially]]: [[Glass]] shatters in an instant, [[baby seal|baby seals]] are freed from their murderous [[instinct|instincts]], and Earth's society is in [[ruins]], among [[other things]].

If the oogneiss begins to unfurl [[chaos]] from its molecular roots, [[look]] directly into its [[eye|eyes]]. It cannot stand the [[intimidation]] of a sustained gaze. In [[fact]], we have a guy whose job it is to look this thing in the eyes day in and day out - sometimes he blinks, and that's a [[thing]] or [[two]]. Remember the [[dinosaurs]]?
[[Category:Things (official)]]