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{{distinguish|California sea lion}}

{{distinguish|California sea lion}}

The California Seal ion is a [[consumer]] grade ion-emitting [[handheld]] device designed and [[shaped]] to look like a [[seal]]. It was created by inventor and scientist [[Nerpus Scubertson]] and was distributed to every resident of California.

The California Seal ion is a [[consumer]] grade ion-emitting [[handheld]] device designed and [[shaped]] to look like a [[seal]]. It was created by inventor and scientist [[Nerpus Scubertson]] and was distributed to every resident of California. Since its release, it has been heralded as one of the greatest inventions ever made in the 21st century.  

[[File:Caliseal ion.png|thumb|Consumer technology has never been cuter!]]

[[File:Caliseal ion.png|thumb|Consumer technology has never been cuter!]]

==Background and development==

==Background and development==

The California seal ion is designed to be held with two [[hands]] at waist height. The device turns on when the back fins are pushed into an upright position. The front fins are used like a joystick to aim the [[ion blast]], with a button on the back of the body used to fire an ion blast. The general idea is to emit a [[short]] range blast of ion to disable various home electronics that have malfunctioned. A [[screen]] on the back of the device shows many numbers, but it is [[unknown]] what they mean.  

The California seal ion is designed to be held with two [[hands]] at waist height. The device turns on when the back fins are pushed into an upright position. The front fins are used like a joystick to aim the [[ion blast]], with a button on the back of the body used to fire an ion blast. The general idea is to emit a [[short]] range blast of ion to disable various home electronics that have malfunctioned. A [[screen]] on the back of the device shows many numbers, but it is [[unknown]] what they mean.  

===Unofficial Functions===

===Unofficial Functions===

Through the use of [[unauthorised]] modifications, Some unofficial functions of the device have been found. This includes increasing the duration and power, to that of significantly greater amounts than normal. Ports for a laser emitting device add-on have been found, though no official hardware has been released. People using these unauthorised functions of the device have reportedly gone missing, which has led to many not trying them.

Through the use of [[unauthorized]] modifications, Some unofficial functions of the device have been found. This includes increasing the duration and power, to that of significantly greater amounts than normal. Ports for a laser emitting device add-on have been found, though no official hardware has been released. People using these unauthorized functions of the device have reportedly gone missing, which has led to many not trying them. People speculate that the sheer amount of ion produced by modified devices makes people lose all physical form and return to a mostly gaseous state, which is then collected and used to power [[vehicles]].

===Recreational usage===

===Recreational usage===

==Critical Reception==

==Critical Reception==

The California seal ion has been reviewed as the most important piece of technology of all time. The technology developed for the Seal ion has been monumental in bringing in a new era of world peace to countless planets and galaxies.

The California seal ion has been reviewed as the most important piece of technology of all time. The technology developed for the Seal ion has been monumental in bringing in a new era of world peace to countless planets and galaxies.

 

==Criticism==

==Criticism==

Many [[critics]] of the device claim that giving one to every resident of California sets a bad precedent for other [[states]] who do not have the technology, which may lead to people coming to California just to get one. Scubertson has responded to these claims with a series of seal noises, showing that he doesn’t see it as a problem.

Many [[critics]] of the device claim that giving one to every resident of California sets a bad precedent for other [[states]] who do not have the technology, which may lead to people coming to California just to get one. Scubertson has responded to these claims with a series of seal noises, showing that he doesn’t see it as a problem.

==In popular culture==

==In popular culture==

The prevalence of the California seal ion has made it a common occurrence in celebrity endorsements to show off how amazing the California seal ion is. Many celebrities have even taken to it being part of the family, and requested its use in many TV shows and movies.

The prevalence of the California seal ion has made it a common occurrence in celebrity endorsements to show off how amazing the California seal ion is. Many celebrities have even taken to it being part of the family, and requested its use in many TV shows and movies.

==Legacy==

==Legacy==

The California Seal ion paved the way for even more seal shaped tech. One such example is the [[Texas Seal Iron]], which was an iron shaped like a seal.  

The California Seal ion paved the way for even more seal shaped tech. One such example is the [[Texas Seal Iron]], which was an iron shaped like a seal.  

International Epic Magazine ranked the California Seal ion as the most important invention of our time.  

International Epic Magazine ranked the California Seal ion as the number one most important invention of our time.  

===International version===

===International version===

An international version of the California seal ion was [[planned]] to be released the year after the [[domestic variant]], however due to Marketing concerns related to plans in keeping the “California” part of the name, they were shelves indefinitely.  

An international version of the California seal ion was [[planned]] to be released the year after the [[domestic variant]], however due to Marketing concerns related to plans in keeping the “California” part of the name, they were shelved indefinitely.  

===“Other animal” ions===

===“Other animal” ions===

==Sequel==

==Sequel==

A California Seal ion has been announced. It is scheduled to be released.  

A California Seal ion Sequel has been announced. It is scheduled to be released.  

[[Category:Confusing pages (official)]]

 

[[Category:Confusing pages (official)]] [[Category:Seals]]