Applications to The Ultimate Heist Crew's new lawyer
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Greetings, everyone! Mangrove from The Ultimate Heist Crew here. I'm here on their behalf to look for a new lawyer, following Creative Commons & Copyright's unfortunate elimination. Please sign up we don't want to go to jail and eat broccoli
Initial Entries
| Entrant | Reasoning | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Miss Pauling | Works with exceptionally subnormal men. Defectives, drunks, war criminals. Somehow, none of them have stood trial, so she seems like she'd be able to cover our bases. | Still in the running. |
| Saul Goodman | A prime candidate, but not available due to being abducted by a UFO. We'd have to break him out, which could land us in an even bigger legal mess. | |
| Phoenix Wright | This guy has won some incredibly difficult cases, and a badass name to boot. | Still in the running. |
| Terezi Pyrope | Vriska hates her, so she must be trustworthy. | Still in the running. |
| Lionel Hutz | If all else fails, we can fall back on this guy. He seems eager enough to help. | Still in the running. |
| LAWLIST | HI-HI-HI-HEY. I'M MANGROVE. I'M WRITING ABOUT WHY THIS "LAWLIST" ENTRY SEEMS GOOD FOR THE HEIST CREW. I THINK THAT THEY SEEM REALLY TRUSTWORTHY. AND WILL NOT SABOTAGE OUR LEGAL DEPARTMENT. IT'S GOOD THAT HEI-HEI-HEI-HEISTS ARE LEGAL, AND WE WANT A LAWYER THAT REFLECTS THAT. LAWLIST LOVES H-H-H-HEISTS. I'M SORRY ABOUT ALL THE EXTRA H'S. IT'S VERY COLD HEE-HEE-HEE-HERE. IN OUR, PRESUMABLY, LAIR. BRRR!
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STILL IN THE RUNNING. A PRIME CANDIDATE! IF YOU ASK ME.
...wait, when did this get here? |