English

Not to be confused with English.

English is a conlang created by User:Coppersalts for CCC3. It was not submitted.

Phonology

English (c.1550-) is notorious for its irregular spelling which is why there have been many a spelling reform suggested for it that change the spelling to more closely match the pronunciation. But few have been bold enough to suggest the opposite; to change pronunciation to match spelling. So that's what I'll be doing with this conlang.

Consonants

English's consonants are:

	Labial		Alveolar		Palatal		Velar		Uvular		Glottal
Nasal	m		n
Plosive	p	b	t	d	c		k	g	q
Fricative	f	v	s	z					x		h
Trill			r
Approximant	w		l		j

Vowels

English's vowels are:

	Front		Back
Close	i	y	u
Mid	e		o
Open	a

You may notice the distinct lack of special characters in these tables and that's no accident. These are just all the sounds represented by Latin characters in IPA.

Double consonants in words like "letter" are pronounced with a 2.86 second gap in between. Don't get the timing wrong! People will laugh at you. Double vowels are the same, but you also swap the rounding of both vowels. So a word like <teeth> would be pronounced /tøʔ ʔøth/. These new vowels are considered allophones of their opposite rounding counterparts.

Please keep realizations of vowels as close to their symbols as possible; we won't be having any of this e̞ business.

Phonotactics

English has no strict phonotactics. It can have up to four vowels in a row in words like "queue" and up to four consonants in a cluster in words like "strength".

Stress

Stress is placed on the syllable with the coolest vowel (based on the ordering below). If a word has two syllables with the same nucleus, the nuclei must battle it out to decide who becomes the primary stress. The winner is not determined systematically and every word like this just has a stress pattern you have to memorize (I've decided them randomly since they're evenly matched).

y > e > o > i > a > u

Morphology

English affix spelling rules are applied.

Nouns

English has 4 numbers, 7 classes, and 2 cases.

Number Affix Negatival co- Singular en- <[some big number unique to every speaker] de- >[some big number unique to every speaker] non-

Class Suffix Masculine -dom Feminine -ify Non-Binary -ly Nurpoing -ent Nerpoing -ious Inanimate -tion

Case Suffix Dative -ible Accusative -ic

All other cases are unmarked.

Verbs

Verbs have 3 tenses

Tense	Suffix
Past	-ness
Far Futue	-es/-ies
Literally 1984	-ity

Present and near future are lumped in with past.

Aspect

I don't know what aspects are so I'm just gonna ignore them.

Agreement

Verbs must agree with the number of the subject, the gender of the object, and the person of the indirect object. If there's no indirect object, the verb must instead agree with the gender of the subject and number of the object. If there is no object, the verb must agree with the number, gender, and person of God (>27631338, feminine, complicated). If the listener identifies as God, use first person; if only the speaker identifies as God or neither identifies as God, use second person; if both identify as God, use third person. Please note that anyone who identifies with the feminine gender is considered God in this context.

Adjectives mush disagree with nouns in gender and number. The exact genders used are determined by cycling with the golden ratio . The numbers go up by 1 with each additional adjective with each adjective after the noun and down with each one before the noun. This also applies to adverbs [I'll expand more on this later I just needed to get this idea down]

The negation modifier "yes" has to agree with nouns in both gender and number instead of disagreeing. It has to disagree with verbs though. using the golden ratio thing but backwards

Grammar

If you mess up your grammar, you get hit by a grammar ray.

Word order

Word order is SVO (evil SVO).

Adjectives that are agreeing with a noun that is feminine, masculine, or nurpoing are placed before the noun, while with non-binary, nerpoing, and inanimate nouns are placed after the noun.

Vocabulary

The vocabulary of English is sourced from English, but not 1:1. Generally, nouns are sourced from verbs, verbs are sourced from adjectives, adjectives are sourced from nouns, pronouns are sourced from conjunctions, conjunctions from pronouns, adverbs are sourced from other grammatical words, and other grammatical words are sourced from adverbs. Numbers are lumped in with nouns and are sourced from some of the more common ones. Oh also it uses quinary.

Sample text

Original

About three things I was absolutely positive: first, Edward was a vampire.
Second, there was a part of him—and I didn't know how potent that part may be—that thirsted for my blood.
And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

Gloss

I should look up how to do these