Olive Garden
They lived. They served. They died.
This article is dedicated to the late Olive Garden.
Fly high, sweet angel... 
Olive Garden was
The Tragedy
Wobbins, why are we at an Olive Garden???
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Cause they've got a good deal, DUHHH
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Think, dude, why else would we even BE here if not for one of those amazin' gift cards!
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...Gift cards?
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Yes, Barth. Gift cards.
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Well it's not exactly that interesting. Why here and not any other place that has them?
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Honestly? Crazy stuff always happens in these kinds of stores. Especially when the two of us are together!
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So you want to test a theory? That seems rather reasonable.
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The two approach the counter, when suddenly
Yoooooo, Wobbins! My main mole boy! Welcome to Olive Garden! What can I whip up for ya and your lil' buddy?
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Wh- MAX?! What're you doing here?
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Oh yeah, I'm just filming my latest vid 'I Got Fired From Olive Garden', I'm telling ya, this one is gonna get SO many likes!
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Should I even ask why it's called tha-
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Suddenly, from behind the duo...
NOT SO FAST!!!
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Huh? Hauser?! What're YOU doing here?!
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Ain't it obvious? I'm here to get that delicious gift card!
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Fat chance, dude! WE'RE the ones getting that thing, besides, WE came here first!
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Actually, that was me.
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What. QUIT GASLIGHTING!!! There's no possible way you were here first!!!
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That's nice and all, but WHEN are you actually gonna order?
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Oh, us? I'll have what he's having.
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Aight, so a gift card? Those take a while to prepare, (UNFORTUNATELY...) so is it okay if you wait for a bit?
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One hour latere...
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Nothing seems to have changed, aside from the line getting bigger
How does it take this long to prepare a simple gift card?
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You've been here for an hour? We've been waiting for a YEAR!
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Oh ho ho ho!
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Alright, what's goin' on over there? Where's MAX?
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Me?
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No, not you, Max.
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Phew, thought for a moment there I was in hot water again!
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Again...?
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As the line continues to grow, many fail to notice the steadily increasing light coming from the kitchen...
Yo dudes, check out that funky light.
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What?
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oh no.
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Suddenly BOOM! The explosion blows down the wall from the counter to the kitchen, and afterwards, Max (Throttle) is flung towards the group!
WHAT THE-!? Max, WHAT DID YOU DO?!
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I'm INNOCENT, I beg you!
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NOT YOU, HIM!!!
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Okay, so I, heh heh, maaaaay have turned the dial up the on the card maker a bit high.
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Cool. Got a reason?
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Eh, wanted to see the fireworks. I mean put in the title that I was gonna be fired!
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No, it's not! There's literally fire everywhere!!!
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Well then what're you gonna do 'bout it?
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What are YOU gonna do about it?
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...
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He did get you with that!
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Y'know what? Maybe Bezordt doesn't want that gift card.
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Yeah, why don't we just go to Yarget like everyone else?!
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Why are you guys now running right now? The fire's spreading all across the building.
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What the hell!?
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We should leave. NOW!!!
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The two run for safety as the Olive Garden burns to a cinder
Guys, wait up!!! Don't leave me here!
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...And Hauser. He's safe, too.
As the store empties out and the patrons evacuate, only some people are left, standing around the remains.
Well, that sure was a tragedy!
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What is?
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This entire franchise, what do you think?
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Oh ho ho ho!
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Someone approaches the debris, sighing.
Fucking hell, not again.
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