The Three Stooges

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Moe
Alright you two, we've been hired to write uh, pages for this here encyclopedia, so get writin'!
Larry
And what are you gonna do, Moe?
Moe
Well I'm the fact-checker. I gotta make sure everything yous two say is right!
Curly
I think I should fact check! I'm very knowledgeable.
Moe
Yeah? Whadda you know?
Curly
Diddya know ol' George Washington had woodens teeth!
Larry
Gee, did he brush 'em with varnish?
Moe
He didn't have wooden teeth you knuckleheads, that's a myth!
Curly
Oh no, he was a Mr., not a Ms.! Nyuck nyuck nyuck-
Eyepoke
Oof!

Moe
'Ey, what's that bugger doin' here?
Larry
What'cha talkin' about, Moe?
Moe
That baby seal. It's as soft as a teddy bear.
Niko
...
Curly
I bet it's softer than my grandma's feather pillow! Nyuck nyuck nyuck-
Eyepoke
Oof!
Moe
Keep ya mind on track, will ya? It'd really work as a pet.
Larry
Woah there, pal. That's unusual, innit?
Moe
Unusual's my middle name, Larry. Imagine the three of us with that seal. We'd be the talk o' the town!
Curly
We'd teach it tricks! Like, uh, balancing... whaddo they call it... Pipis!
Moe
My thoughts exactly, Curly! And we'd take it for a walk in the park, with a lil' leash and a block o' cement to eat... Easy as pie!
Curly
I love me some pie!
Moe
Not that pie, ya numbskull!