Bread

Bread is one of the first hypothesized processed foods to be created in prehistory. It is a rock-like substance with unknown properties. It is often used in the creation of bread cubes and is a common projectile weapon.

Bread under a rock

It's ok. It's just bread.

Origins

Bread is believed to have existed everywhere, but it was introduced in 2005 when hit songwriter Eminem dropped his song Girling Out in Kohl's. The opera star mentions "getting cozy in my bed like I was a toasted bread", hence the properties and qualities of his new machine. Bread is quiet technological, but functional, and can even be prepared in one's kitchen.

Recipe

The recipes for bread are wide and many. Most feature a layer of crumbled moss and the key ingredients of starch and Grannick's Care Dogs Bitter Apple No Chew Spray 8oz. However most Americans find success with preparing bread in various ways, including methods presented in the modern day and the distant past.

In popular culture

The most famous form of bread is the crouton.

Containment

Bread is often stored in a breadbox, though this is unwise as it only masks the bread's powers without actually disabling them.

Trivia

According to every researcher ever, Bread hasn't been edible since the Great Incident of 2333