PHP

See also: 4

PHP (Platinum Hypertext Prettygood) is a programming language originating from the Platinum Age (get it?) that you use when you're desperate. Mind the logs.

Why it's used

You need your cat images to be platinum (get it?) so you get PHP to make them platinum (get it?) for you.

Why it's not used (which is never)

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Sometimes your website might have a little pwned moment caused by a baby hacker who meant no wrong pleading emoji. All for that gold (don't get it?) trophy and what not.