Shark

Sharks are friendly little fellas that are overlooked as fearsome, which is a false assumption. They just tend to eat a lot, but they'd rather leave humans alone. Seals though... I've seen footage of great white sharks jumping high up in the air in a surprise attack against the unfortunate pinnipeds they treasure.

Sharks are the natural predators of the deep sea pretzel rod.

“	Who needs governments when you can have sharks?	”
	— SMW, 2022

Truth

Sharks are bloodthirsty and the only known animal to be literally evil. This can be easily proven by how many sharp teeth they have. No do-gooder would be caught with so many teeth. There is no excusing this behavior.

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The reputation of sharks has been slandered by popular culture. Shark attacks are an uncommon phenomenon; it is more likely to be attacked by a cow than a shark. Most attacks are accidents, and many sharks reportedly feel remorse afterwards. Sharks can also often be observed donating to charities, assisting the elderly in crossing the street, and keeping the nerpa population in balance. The sole reason why people fear sharks is because of that damn movie Jaws.

the preceding paragraph was sponsored by awesome shark

Lies

The whale shark is said to be a filter feeder when it is not. Their huge mouths can suck in a nerpa like a black hole and turn it into okinberry pie. A whale shark should only be fed filters as a treat.

Philosophy

P1) All creatures are worthy of appreciation.

P2) A shark is a creature.

____

C) A shark must be worthy of appreciation.