Toyota Corolla
You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further. The 1999 Toyota Corolla.
Features
| Bluetooth | Sunroof | Fancy wheels | Rear view camera |
| No | No | No | No^ |
^ It's got a transparent rear window and you have a neck that can turn.
History
When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla.
Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I ignored it. It went away. The end. You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would start right up. This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.
This car's got history. It's seen things. It's not going to judge you like a Volkswagen would.
Reception
When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine."
Legacy
Things this car is old enough to do:
| Vote | Consent to Sonic Adventure 2 | Rent a car |
| Yes | Yes | Yes^ |
^ It IS a car.