This page contains unmarked spoilers for Chainsaw Man (both the anime and manga).

Spoilers are unmarked because it is retelling the story but in Dialogue Box form!. Please proceed with caution if you have not read the source material.

This page contains blacklisted topics.

This includes: listen its fucking chainsaw man and as much as i can try to "de-adultify" it its kinda like finding the end of pi. you can only go so far. so just kinda watch out for slightly adult/edgier topics. although i will FOR THE LOVE OF GOD try to make sure it doesn't break any of the established WIKI CAMP RULES. (looking at YOU, rule 4!). Proceed with caution.

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CHAPTER 1: The Past.....The Pasty Past..........The Pre-past....The Perfect Past......one could say its... the prettiest past....

Goo goo ga ga im a baby...
Being a baby is COOL because NO ONE can BE MEAN TO ME
Hey! It's me! Banban!
OH MY GOSH! It's BANBAN!!! My favorite fricking indie horror game serie-
Shut the fuck up, child. You have 13 days to pay us all the money your dad owes us or you'll be thrown into the Okin Devil's chamber.
but im like 10 years old

CHAPTER 2: seasons meetings

sigh....ive only made 1 cent...i cant get all those Moneys in 13 days.....
What The Fuck is That.
BARK
Goodness gracious its the dog devil!!!
wait a fuckin minute there's no such thing as a DOG devil
well you have a chainsaw on your nose...so...are you...the CHAINSAW DEVIL?
BARK
WAIT A MINUTE chainsaw devil YOURE DYING
BARK
quick!! YOURE A DEVIL!!! Eat my BLOOD!!! it'll revive you!
eugh, fuck that. sounds gross as shit
(does it anyways)
HAHA! I tricked you. i have A+ blood. which means that YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW MY COMMANDS!!!!
I COMMAND YOU...to be my friend please i am so desperately lonely
ok fine, only because IM desperately lonely too
ok...wanna go get ice cream
fucking Yes

Chapter 3: ice is nice

hey Poochita....
ITS POCHITA YOU FUCKING dick
hey Pochita....
I have a lowkey awesome idea...
what if i used you to murder EVIL devils and collect bounties for moneys?
Denji
im' glad you agree. nothing wrong can come from this

Chapter 4: Modern Day (

OH GOD OH FUCK IM DYING
WHY DID I HAVE TO PICK THE ZOMBIE DEVIL OUT OF ALL BOUNTIES TODAY
BLARGH...im like a zombie isn't that weird??? lol...
Fuck you ZOMBITCH
That's Very mean. DIE
X_X
No. my only son. dead.
wait a minute......i have a pochie idea
Two seconds later
What the Hell? I'm Alive Again?
denji...i have Sacrificed myself to become your spirit...you see that chainsaw cord on your chest...yank it...
im not gonna be doing that
do it or im gonna possess you and throw you off a cliff
FINE!!!
(Denji does it)
AHHHCHHGHHHHH!!!!!!
...
So let me get this straight...
I'm something that I would NOT call a "human"...
I'm fighting FREAKING zombies...
And...oH YEAH. I FUSED WITH A DEVIL!!!!
yeah okay that is something i do now.
SHUT THE FUCK UP GOD EVEN AS A ZOMBIE I KNOW WHEN A BITS DEAD GOD
DIE
(the zombie devil...is dead....)
woohoo yeah!!! i killed the zombie devil!!! today is the best day of my life!!
(bitch i literally died)
time to- Wait Why Do I Sense a Feeling of Dread

Chapter 5: THE WOMAN

Suddenly...a bunch of people in cringy suits enter the building.
Hey wait, where's the Zombie devil??? It WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE???
It looks like someone else got to him...
OH GOD. ITS A GUY WITH A CHAINSAW FOR A FACE. GOD. THATS HORRIFYING
...You've been working here for 4 years and THAT'S the thing that freaks you out the most?
i have a fear of object heads
dont worry. i know how to solve this
bart go fucking hug it
WHAT??? ARE YOU INSANE??? YOU WANT ME TO HUG IT???
yeah maybe he'll calm down and turn back to normal
no way am i fucking doing that
what the fuck are you guys arguing about
WAIT A MINUTE........A WOMAN????
HOLY SHITTTTTTTT
oh wow i guess you didnt need to hug him
well now he just looks ugly
Hi. I'm Denji. I am cool and aweso-
Denji. You're a human who's fused with a devil, right?
wow...you're so smart..,..
Well it might be unfortunate for you to know that we are devil hunters. we're gonna have to kill you
ok.......
WAIT WJAT
Unless...You work with us. In which case, you will be kept alive.
wow how am i still attracted to you
can we just kill him right here please
No. The power he possesses is great. He will be a big help to me.
you mean the devil hunter agency as a whole right
sure

Chapter 6: when i need a JOB done i get someone with a JOB to do that JOB

Welcome to your new job, Denji!
i didnt tell you my name
you've told me your name like 14 times during the car ride here
oh
now. it's time for your first mission...You'll be paired up with someone.
oh my god i hope its a woman
Denji...meet...Aki.
Hello.

Chapter 7: The Shortest chapter ever

DAMNIT

Chapter 8: Denji and Aki sitting in a tree k i s s s i m g o p q e u r d a j d hf f fdijdoifj soeejdjawidjiojqIO JDOAJSPJD O

hey aki
my dude
my bro
my joseph
my brah
hahah lol bra
anyways why did you take us to an alleyway
Listen you blonde haired mother fucker, I don't know what the fuck you think you're doing coming in here and getting all weird with Makima like that, but I'm getting serious fucking bad vibes from you. Like you mean trouble. If you fuck this up for me, then I will personally seek to making your life a living hell.
wowie, looks like SOMEONE got up on the WRONG SIDE OF THE BED!!!
oh my fucking god,
and then they kill the devil
oh hey you were genuinely competent. good job.
hey fun fact did you know makima forced me to have you live at my house. i was going to kill you when we got there but honestly since you killed that devil pretty nicely i think i wont do that
women,

Chapter 9: Meet the Devil Hunters....starring...

nicely done on your first mission, Denji. I think it's time to meet the rest of the people you'll be working with.
this is Captain Kishibe.
Hello, I-
Shut up. This is Kobeni
AUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHAUSDHGHGRFEUGHDFUBGHK RFEG8RGH 23HR2 OHU23H2KJHK HAJHEG89R5GH3489TYH34895T2894Y284YH3ONF DLJKHDKLJVH JFH DKJGHDKFGH KDFGDJFGNDF
thats her way of saying hi
I BURNED MY HAND MAKING COFFEE
thats ok
anyways this is himeno
Hey!!! What's up guys! It's me!! Himeno!!! Badda Bing Badda Boom yknow???
And finally, this is the next person you'll be on a mission with. Her name is Power
GRAAH!! WHY DID YOU PAIR ME UP WITH SUCH A USELESS HUMAN!
but i-
off you go, you two.

Chapter 10: Super Mario Kill Toe Jammer from My Singing Monsters