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Hey, you made it into my page! Enjoy your stay.
Avery Hortsworth is User:Coppersalts's main fursona. These days I mostly shorten the name to "aves" (often stylized as lowercase, but capitalized is acceptable) because I like the way it sounds better; also I didn't know "Avery" was a gender-neutral name when I named her that. "Aves" also sort of comes from the clade that birds belong to. There's no actual connection to birds, that's just where it comes from. I also just like birds; I should make an avian fursona some time maybe. It's pronounced "EY-vees".
ni li mi a! I tend to not use aves as a mascot, I more use her for personal drawings most of which I don't show anyone. Some of these can be found the one public place I post them online no I will not link it you'll have to find it yourself. Most of them don't get there though.
Species: Fox Cat
Nicknames: Aves (/ˈɛjvɪjz/), Avy (ˈɛjvɪj)
Pronouns: she/theyContents
Personality
I need to stop drawing on lined paper
She prefers to express things through ges
s and motions and stuff over words. I worded this in a way that I liked before, but I deleted that from my dump text file, so you get this. Also this was like, the one thing I ever defined about them personality-wise and this is the first time I'm sharing it... ever. For the most part, aves is just me, but I don't know myself very well beyond a nebulous feeling. I feel like expanding on this in a later section actually. I think I'll do that.
I'll also say now that she also expresses with noises between that of a cat and a fox (like I do irl no I will not attach audio even though I kinda want to), and speaks fluent toki pona with a preference for it over English.
One thing I've come to realize is that aves is how I am to myself, and Blackberry is how I present myself to others. This wasn't the original conscious intent, but it's how I've come to interpret it now. Aves represents the things I wish to express, but have never felt like I've had the opportunity to.
🤔
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I have a drawing I wanna rext into here, but I'll have to do that at a later date
aves,,
Alright, enough of that
Aves li mi, so this section li toki e mi.
Expanding on the thing from earlier
So as I was saying, I don't know myself very well. For a while, I found self-expression difficult because it felt like I didn't have much to express, but recently I got back into making music and for once it actually felt like self-expression rather than making sounds that I think sound cool. But this time it felt different. I still don't feel like I have much to express, but this is a start. Maybe this is why I decided to start the MC&TB logs with their journey of self discovery. I guess partly because it felt logical given the situation, but also because it reflects how I'm feeling. I'm still finding myself, but at least I can have fun in trying.
Anyway, with the music I made 4 tracks with vocals that I actually like (something I haven't done before) and I have two new instrumentals, so I've been thinking of making an 8 track album out of them. I still have two more instrumentals to make, but I'm on a trip at the moment and can't make them until I get back. I worry that I won't feel like making them when I get back, but not that much. I brought the songs I made with me and I kinda feel like I like them less here, but also that I'll get back to liking them when I get back. When the album's done, I'll add a YouTube embed right here and also probably change the embed on my user page to the album upload.
I'm still not sure if I wanna start a Bandcamp and put it on there. I feel like I could go either way. Partly I just feel like it's not good enough for Bandcamp; maybe upload it to youtube and see what the response is, then decide if I wanna put it on Bandcamp. I guess it's also a question of if I'll make more music in the future; I don't wanna have a Bandcamp page if it'll only ever have one thing on it.
Anyway, that's all I have to say today. Normally I'd put things like this in my private server, but it's nice to know I can have an arbitrarily large audience on this for anyone who's willing to listen. Don't know if I'll do stuff like this in the future, but it at least felt good to do it the once. I don't have much to express, so it might be a while until I feel the need to write something new here, but I've opened up the opportunity for myself to do so in the future
2024-04-23
I've just been thinking, if I did create a Bandcamp, what name would I want it to be under? I could just go with coppersalts, but if I'm starting something new here I have the opportunity to go with something else. "coppersalts" just doesn't feel like it fits with what I'm doing here. I was thinking maybe I could put it under the name "Aves H." since it's like, expression of what I normally don't express. I very well might go for it. Another I've considered is "avesmidi" since it seems like it would do well in an attributed track title like "avesmidi – Snowglobe". Seems like a very viable contender.
Anyway, I just got back from my trip to the UK. It's like everything went on pause for that trip and now we're back to the way things were before. My computer is slowly dying and just as I got back it had a panic and wouldn't start up. I left it for a while and tried again and it just worked and I have no idea why, so I'm just backing everything up before I use it for anything real again. I kinda feel like I'm just sort of writing this to fill the time. I think I'll be scared to use my computer for a while after this. Like it could go at any moment and I have no way of knowing when. I will get a new computer soon, I just don't know how soon yet. I want to feel comfortable using my computer and I think the anxious feeling will subside over time. I have two more instrumental tracks to make. I don't know if my computer can handle Live anymore. I don't want to delay making them until I have a new computer because I'm worried I'll lose the spark by then. I was already scared I'd lose it from the trip alone.
2024-04-25
I have a very important update! I finished the album and I did put it on Bandcamp! And I did go with avesmidi as the name and everything! And I have another idea for an album that I'm sure I'll want to make when I feel up for it! I'm glad I came through with this project and I can't wait to see what I do next. It might be a while before I make another one of these, but I've made peace with the fact that my Bandcamp will only have one thing on it for the next while. I completely forgot that bios are a thing, so it wasn't until I was prompted to that I even thought to write something. I set it as "I make music as a form of self expression, on the rare occasion that I have something to express." and I like that; my next project will come when I have something new to express. I also drew a new pfp for Bandcamp that I really like; she's so flufye!
You know, I think
more than anything,
the reason I made Lala(doga) was because
I want to be heard
and to know
that I am heard
I don't know if anyone has even listened to it yet besides my sister. I should just wait, but this is how it feels in the moment; I'm waiting for anyone to say something.
I don't feel heard yet
2024-04-26
- I think part of the reason I didn't pitch correct myself on Lala(doga) is that there's a certain vulnerability to not pitch correcting yourself when you're not staying on pitch very well that I wanted to preserve
- message I sent in my private server and am now sending here
2024-04-28
I feel like I said everything I had to say in Lala(doga) and now I'm back to having nothing to express.
2024=05=23
And I'm back with a new album. tbh I don't think I really like it as much as the last one just in terms of listening experience. I titled it "pilin lili" which can mean "feeling small", "small feeling", "feeling little" and more. What I was going for was something that encompassed these and I think I accomplished that. Maybe I'll like it more later, I just feel a little tired out from it. Maybe I can add more when I'm feeling up to it.