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Death Note (view source)

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[[Category:Confusing pages (official)]][[Category:Moral dilemmas]][[Category:Pages featuring Muscle Man]][[Category:Pages featuring Muscle Man dying]][[Category:Living Status Unknown]][[Category:Pages featuring Statler and Waldorf]][[Category:Death]][[Category:Lowkey gay]][[Category:Pages with unmarked spoilers]]

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~~{{#subtitle:The Death Note That Only Scar Can Edit}}~~

{{Unmarked Spoiler Warning|Death Note|this page is retelling the story of Death Note using dia boxes}}{{Distinguish|Seal Note|Deaeth note}}

'''Death Note''' is an [[anime]] about

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{{Dia|Light|The human whose name is written in this note shall [[die]].}}

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~~{{Dia|Light|~~This feels... familiar somehow...}}

== One week earlier...==

[[File:Light finds the seal note.png|364x364px]]{{Dia|Light|[[Seal Note]], huh?}}

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{{Dia|Light|The seal whose name is written in this note shall be created~~.}}~~

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{{Dia|Light|The seal whose name is written in this note shall be created...}}

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~~{{Dia|Light|~~...}}

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~~{{Dia|Jurta|ok~~}}

==That night, at cram school...==

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{{Dia|Light|Cripes there's so many rules... This note will not take effect unless the writer has the person's face in their mind when writing their name... If you don't write cause of [[death]] within [[40]] seconds, the person will die of a [[heart attack]]...}}

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~~{{Dia|Light|~~This note will not take effect unless the writer has the person's face in their mind when writing their name}}

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{{Dia|Light|...You know what would be [[funny]]? If I wrote someone's name in here. Like. Ironically. Of course.}}

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~~{{Dia|Light|~~If you don't write cause of [[death]] within [[40]] seconds, the person will die of a [[heart attack]]}}

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~~{{Dia|Light|~~You know what would be [[funny]]? If I wrote someone's name in here. Like. Ironically. Of course.}}

[[File:WikiVandalism.png|349x349px]]

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{{Dia|Light|Wait. That won't work. Vandalism on The Wiki Camp 2 doesn't have a [[face]].}}

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{{Dia|Light|Wait. That won't work. Vandalism on The Wiki Camp 2 doesn't have a [[face]]. I guess I'll have to figure out something else...}}

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~~{{Dia|Light|~~I guess I'll have to figure out something else...}}

==At the convenience store...==

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{{Dia|Light|She is a [[criminal]] after all, I might as well test the note with her. Um. Ironically. Of course.}}

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{{Dia|Light|She is a [[criminal]] after all, I might as well test the note with her. Um. Ironically. Of course. Toy Blocks. Exploded by microwave.}}

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~~{{Dia|Light|~~Toy Blocks. Exploded by microwave.}}

{{Dia|ToyBlocksSilly|Alright! Now that I've stolen this fine establishment's [[toaster pastries|Pop Tarts]], I'll cook these bad [[boys]] in the [[microwave]]. Stacking them, of course!}}

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{{Dia|Light|Wew, what a [[day]]! I had a [[math test]], a [[presentation]], I [[murder|killed someone]], and I still need to narrow down my list of colleges. Just a day in the life of a high school senior!}}

{{Dia|Ryuk|Sounds stressful. Why don't you go watch more Simpsons with your [[sister]]?}}

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~~{{Dia|Light|AH, [[Monster|MONSTER]]!}}~~

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~~{{Dia|Ryuk|I'm not a-}}~~

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~~{{Dia|Ryuk|.}}~~

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{{Dia|Ryuk|Hahaha! Love to hear it. You really did a [[number]] on that [[Ultimate Heist Crew]] [[human]], by the by.}}

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{{Dia|Light|You [[mean]]... There's an Ulimate Heist ''Crew''?!}}

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~~{{Dia|Light|~~There's an Ulimate Heist ''Crew''?!}}

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{{Dia|Light|That's [[joker|the problem with society today]], Ryuk. So many criminals! What we need is [[justice]]! [[Retribution]]! And what better choice to dish it out then some [[random]] 17 year old [[boy]]? Maybe that's why I was [[fate|destined]] to receive this notebook!}}

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{{Dia|Light|That's [[joker|the problem with society today]], Ryuk. So many criminals! What we need is [[justice]]! [[Retribution]]! And what better choice to dish it out then some [[random]] 17 year old [[boy]]?}}

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~~{{Dia|Light|~~Maybe that's why I was [[fate|destined]] to receive this notebook!}}

{{Dia|Ryuk|I don't know about this destiny [[crap]]. I literally just dropped it in the [[human]] realm. On [[purpose]], in fact.}}

{{Dia|Light|[[You]]-Why would you do something like that with such a powerful [[tool]]?}}

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{{Dia|Light|Quite the [[opposite]], Ryuk. In fact, with this notebook, I intend on [[Killing God|surpassing]] even [[The Divine Goddess]] and becoming [[god]] of the new world!}}

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{{Dia|Light|I always knew I was destined for greatness, and it's important I start thinking of my career since I'm about to head into [[university]]. Though I can't bring much [[change]] as I would like as a [[police officer]], or [[Walter White|schoolteacher]], or... god forbid, a [[wiki]] editor.}}

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{{Dia|Light|I always knew I was destined for greatness, and it's important I start thinking of my career since I'm about to head into [[university]]. Though I can't bring much [[change]] as I would like as a [[police officer]], or [[Walter White|schoolteacher]], or... god forbid, a [[wiki]] editor... Fuck no! God of the new [[world]] seems like an ideal career [[path]].}}

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~~{{Dia|Light|Nope~~. God of the new [[world]] seems like an ideal career [[path]].}}

{{Dia|Light|Huh, looks like this crew has their own [[The Ultimate Heist Crew|website]], with names, faces, and everything.}}

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{{Dia|Bullseye|GADFUCKINGZOOKS. ''ALL OF THEM'' ARE HAVING HEART ATTACKS!}}

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{{Dia|Bullseye|GADFUCKINGZOOKS. ''ALL OF THEM'' ARE HAVING HEART ATTACKS! WHAT IN THE SAM FUCK IS HAPPENING?!}}

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~~{{Dia|Bullseye|~~WHAT IN THE SAM FUCK IS HAPPENING?!}}

{{Dia|Bullseye|...Even worse, I have to [[clean]] this all [[up]]...}}

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{{Dia|Soichiro|A mysterious [[detective]]. They say he's never shown his [[face]]...}}

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{{Dia|Llogo|What's up gamers it's me, L from Death Note, and today, I'm gonna try my [[hand]] at solving the murder case.}}

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{{Dia|Llogo|What's up gamers it's me, L from Death Note, and today, I'm gonna try my [[hand]] at solving the murder case. Yea that's [[right]]! '''''MURDER!'''''}}

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~~{{Dia|Llogo|~~Yea that's [[right]]! '''''MURDER!'''''}}

{{Dia|Llogo|So, here's what I got so far. I'm pretty sure our murderer lives somewhere in [[Japan]], they probably need just a [[face]] and [[name]] to kill someone, and I'm almost certain they have access to a [[The Wiki Camp 2|popular wiki]].}}

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==In Light's room again==

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~~{{Dia|Light|*beatboxing*}}~~

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~~{{Dia|Light|My name is [[Kira]]}}~~

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~~{{Dia|Light|Your [[cool]] new god}}~~

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~~{{Dia|Ryuk|And my name's Ryuk}}~~

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~~{{Dia|Ryuk|I'm his best friend}}~~

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~~{{Dia|Light|Hold up hold up. You're. You're not my [[best friend]], Ryuk.}}~~

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~~{{Dia|Ryuk|You know I might just kill you for that when I get bored of you}}~~

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~~{{Dia|Light|Whatever man}}~~

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~~{{Dia|Ryuk| }}~~

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{{Dia|"Weird Al" Yankovic|HA! NICE JOB KIRA, YOU FELL FOR THE OL' [[Chicken Game|CHICKEN GAME]] PRANK! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!}}

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{{Dia|Kira|But little does [[he]] [[know]]... I have his [[name]] and [[face]] now~~.}}~~

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{{Dia|Kira|But little does [[he]] [[know]]... I have his [[name]] and [[face]] now! Not only will [[I]] write the names of criminals, but from this [[point]] on I'll also write [[down]] the name of anyone who tries to [[stop]] me!}}

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~~{{Dia|Kira|~~Not only will [[I]] write the names of criminals, but from this [[point]] on I'll also write [[down]] the name of anyone who tries to [[stop]] me!}}

{{Dia|Kira|This could have been [[fun]], Weird L, but you showed your [[cards]] too [[early]]!}}

{{Dia|"Weird Al" Yankovic|No but seriously Kira, we are [[coming]] after you, and someday I'll [[get]] y-}}

{{Dia|OMG TEXTY|Shit fuck damn crap he's having a [[heart attack]]! CUT TO COMMERCI-}}

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{{Dia|Llogo|Oh. um. awk. ward... [[That]] wasn't actually [[me]], that was a [[polka]] musician who was scheduled for [[public execution]] tomorrow afternoon.}}

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~~{{Dia|Llogo|So, um~~. [[That]] wasn't actually [[me]], that was a [[polka]] musician who was scheduled for [[public execution]] tomorrow afternoon.}}

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{{Dia|Llogo|Really [[fucked up]] of you that you would [[kill]] someone impersonating me... Almost as if you [[intend]] to kill [[anyone]] who gets in your [[way]].}}

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{{Dia|Llogo|Really [[fucked up]] of you that you would [[kill]] someone impersonating me... Almost as if you [[intend]] to kill [[anyone]] who gets in your [[way]]. But it gave me a lot of [[information]]. You only need a [[face]] and [[name]] to kill. You're in the [[Kanto]] region of Japan. And, if I had to guess, you're probably some immature [[high school]] or [[college]] student who hates to lose.}}

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~~{{Dia|Llogo|~~But it gave me a lot of [[information]]. You only need a [[face]] and [[name]] to kill. You're in the [[Kanto]] region of Japan. And, if I had to guess, you're probably some immature [[high school]] or [[college]] student who hates to lose.}}

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{{Dia|Llogo|Sorry for being a [[sad]] lonely [[man]]. Also I [[figure]] this will [[make up]] for the fact that I've gotten [[FBI]] agents to track [[you]] and your families.}}

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~~{{Dia|Llogo|~~Also I [[figure]] this will [[make up]] for the fact that I've gotten [[FBI]] agents to track [[you]] and your families.}}

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{{Dia|Light|That's because I've hidden the it in a [[secret compartment]]. And as to not rouse any [[suspicion]], I've placed a [[yaoi]] manga in the main drawer compartment. That way, it'll be apparent that the only secret Light Yagami is hiding is that he is [[gay]]. But if anyone is still [[curious]], they'll find opening the secret compartment in the [[wrong]] way blows up [[the entire fucking house]].}}

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~~{{Dia|Ryuk|~~You're off your absolute [[gourd]].}}

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~~{{Dia|Light|Hush up Ryuk. Now check to see if my room is bugged, and I'll give you an apple.}}~~

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~~{{Dia|Ryuk|Oh goody goody gumdrops!!!~~}}

==Paper Niko's [[Hotel]]==

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~~{{Dia|Paper Niko| }}~~

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~~{{Dia|Paper Pumpkin| }}~~

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~~{{Dia|Paper Pumpkin| }}~~

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~~{{Dia|Paper Pumpkin| }}~~

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~~{{Dia|Paper Niko| }}~~

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~~{{Dia|Ryuk|~~Yeah no.}}

{{Dia|Light|Well, it's pretty silly, but they have a [[seal]] there named [[Niko]] who looks suspiciously like our [[paper]] stalker... I figure, if I write [[that]] name, [[Paper Niko]] in the notebook, I should be able to eliminate him.}}

{{Dia|Ryuk|Feh, "eliminate." What is this? [[Inanimate Insanity]]?}}

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~~{{Dia|Paper Niko| }}~~

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~~{{Dia|Paper Niko| }}~~

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~~{{Dia|Paper Pumpkin| }}~~

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~~{{Dia|Paper Pumpkin| }}~~

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~~{{Dia|Paper Pumpkin| }}~~

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{{Dia|BlueL|He's so calm about all this. Clearly my best course of action is to do something [[wild]].}}

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{{Dia|L|Do you want to [[help]] me [[work]] on the Kira case? ~~We can play [[toys]] later.~~}}

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{{Dia|Kira|What is this guy's [[game]]?! If I decline him, he'll know I'm Kira!}}

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{{Dia|Kira|What is this guy's [[game]]?! If I decline him, he'll know I'm Kira! But at the same time... Maybe he's expecting Kira to [[waltz]] in and take over the case! I can't do [[that]] either! But if I say [[no]], he'll know I thought about [[Hostile Takeover|taking over the case]].}}

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~~{{Dia|Kira|~~But at the same time... Maybe he's expecting Kira to [[waltz]] in and take over the case! I can't do [[that]] either!}}

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~~{{Dia|Kira|~~But if I say [[no]], he'll know I thought about [[Hostile Takeover|taking over the case]].}}

{{Dia|BlueL|So, which will it be, [[Light]] Yagami? Will you force yourself to uncover your [[Kira|true identity]]? Or will you hide in the shadows because you

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truly are Kira? Or perhaps you'll join the task force to keep yourself hidden in plain [[sight]]...}}

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truly are Kira? Or perhaps you'll join the task force to keep yourself hidden in plain [[sight]]... It's a real [[Catch-22]].}}

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~~{{Dia|BlueL|~~It's a real [[Catch-22]].}}

{{Dia|Kira|He's absolutely [[trapped]] me. The only thing [[I]] can do is [[use]] his own way of thinking against him!}}

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~~{{Dia|BlueL|~~You astute [[bitch]].}}

==On the tennis court==

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{{Dia|Kira|Now for the big [[question]]. Do I let him [[win]]? He's probably figured out by now that Kira hates [[Loser|losing]]. But if I let him [[win]], he'll presume I'm trying to [[hide]] my identity...}}

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~~{{Dia|Kira|~~He's probably figured out by now that Kira hates [[Loser|losing]].}}

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{{Dia|BlueL|I know Kira [[hates]] to lose but. Like. Who doesn't.}}

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~~{{Dia|Kira|~~But if I let him [[win]], he'll presume I'm trying to [[hide]] my identity...}}

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{{Dia|BlueL|I know Kira [[hates]] to lose but.~~..}}~~

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~~{{Dia|BlueL|~~Like. Who doesn't.}}

{{Dia|L|Light. If we're on a tennis court... Why are we playing [[Wii Tennis]]?}}

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[[File:no-u.gif]]

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{{Dia|L|God I hope this doesn't foreshadow anything... Anywho, what do you think about joining your [[father]] and I on the Kira case?}}

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~~{{Dia|L|So Light, it was fun playing toys with you~~, ~~but~~ what do you think about joining your [[father]] and I on the Kira case.}}

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{{Dia|Light|uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh k}}

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~~{{Dia|Light|~~k}}

==Back at home==

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~~{{Dia|Light| }}~~

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~~{{Dia|Ryuk| }}~~

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==The next day, at the police station==

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{{Dia|Light|Wewie. First [[day]] on the job. Just stay [[calm]]. It's not L knows there's two Kiras running around.}}

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~~{{Dia|Light|Alright, just~~ stay [[calm]]. It's not L knows there's two Kiras running around.}}

{{Dia|L|Hey guys. I don't know if any of you saw last night's news, but it seems we have two Kiras running around.}}

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==Misa's second broadcast==

{{Dia|SecondKira|Hi guysssss, it's me! [[Girl]] Kira! You can tell I'm Girl Kira because of my [[giggles]] bow!}}

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{{Dia|SecondKira|I just wanted to let y'all know that I wasn't the real Kira, and I [[apologize]] for scaring you! I was only looking for the [[real]] Kira! And he responded! So real Kira, this is for you~~!}}~~

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{{Dia|SecondKira|I just wanted to let y'all know that I wasn't the real Kira, and I [[apologize]] for scaring you! I was only looking for the [[real]] Kira! And he responded! So real Kira, this is for you: I'm a [[huge fan]], and I want to [[thank]] you for all you've done, and maybe serve as an [[ally]] to you! I don't think you have the [[eyes]] but that's [[ok]] because I do!!! Yay!}}

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~~{{Dia|SecondKira|~~I'm a [[huge fan]], and I want to [[thank]] you for all you've done, and maybe serve as an [[ally]] to you!}}

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~~{{Dia|SecondKira|~~I don't think you have the [[eyes]] but that's [[ok]] because I do!!! Yay!}}

{{Dia|SecondKira|Anyway, let's meet irl. We can show each other our shinigami to [[prove]] our identities! Doesn't that sound fun?}}

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{{Dia|LiSt|Wait. Did you think the guy who only needed a [[face]] and [[name]] to give people [[heart attacks]] had a non-[[supernatural]] explanation?}}

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~~{{Dia|L|~~YES? ACTUALLY?}}

{{Dia|Light|Well, Ryuzaki, maybe shinigami is a [[codephrase]] that both Kiras [[know]] about.}}

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{{Dia|Misa|Oops! Sorry! Remind me why I can't see the [[lifespan]] of anyone with a notebook?}}

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{{Dia|Rem|It's very [[simple]] really~~...}}~~

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~~{{Dia|Rem|~~idk}}

{{Dia|Rem|Misa, you are [[truly]] a kind [[soul]]. I take back what I said. You can use puns as much as you like?}}

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{{Dia|Misa|Awww Yays! You [[mean]] it Rem?! I'm gonna [[kill]] someone to [[celebrate]]!}}

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~~{{Dia|Misa|~~I'm gonna [[kill]] someone to [[celebrate]]!}}

==At the police station==

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{{Dia|L|Interesting. This would be the [[third]] seal killed by Kira, as [[Paper Niko]] and [[Paper Pumpkin]] were also Kira victims.}}

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{{Dia|L|Interesting. This would be the [[third]] seal killed by Kira, as [[Paper Niko]] and [[Paper Pumpkin]] were also Kira victims. I've worked with both of them in the [[United States]]. Both [[Expanding Brain|brilliant seals]]. What a tragedy.}}

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~~{{Dia|L|~~I've worked with both of them in the [[United States]]. Both [[Expanding Brain|brilliant seals]]. What a tragedy.}}

{{Dia|L|But something doesn't [[Calculator|add up]]. The most [[recent]] [[Total seal extinction|seal victim]] went by [[Agu]] as an alias. Only an elite [[few]] know [[Who's that seal|that seal]] is actually named [[Hiyori]].}}

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{{Dia|L|Folks. I think it's worth pointing out that while the original Kira is more [[crafty]], Girl Kira is objectively more [[dangerous]], so we'll need to get her. In addition, I think she'll give us some [[hot]] deets on how to find the original.}}

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~~{{Dia|Light|I'll go with you.~~}}

{{Dia|Kira|If this so-called "[[Girl]]" Kira is actually looking for me, I'll need to find them for myself.}}

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{{Dia|Ryuk|Don't look now Light but this girl's got a [[shinigami]] of her own.}}

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{{Dia|Light|Oh! Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!}}

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~~{{Dia|Light|~~Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!}}

{{Dia|Light|Riiiiiiiiiiiiight, my girlfriend! Come on in. I can let you borrow one of [[my]] notebooks in return!}}

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~~{{Dia|Rem|I [[hate]] you.}}~~

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~~{{Dia|Light|What?!}}~~

{{Dia|Rem|I [[hate]] you. You smell like [[Axe Body Spray]]. And the only reason I haven't written your name in my notebook is because Misa likes you for some ungodly reason.}}

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{{Dia|Misa|Anyway, I want to [[thank]] you for killing the madman who killed my [[parents]] and also I wanted to help you kill criminals and be your [[girlfriend]] for realsies.}}

{{Dia|Light|How about all that, BUT you're just my girlfriend for [[Liar|pretendsies]]}}

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~~{{Dia|Misa|~~OKIE.}}

{{Dia|Light|I'm also going to need your [[eyes]]. There's this guy who's causing me a lot of trouble, [[L]]. I need you to [[kill]] him for me!}}

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{{Dia|Kira|DAMMIT! My [[dad]] still thinks I'm [[gay]]! I need to come up with a response to [[appease]] him.}}

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~~{{Dia|Light|~~I'm bi.}}

{{Dia|Soichiro|And I accept you, son! [[Love]] whoever you want to love, be it a [[woman]], man or [[nonbinary]] person.}}

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{{Dia|L|Wow, your girlfriend sure is [[cool]], Light. Has she read [[Moby Dick]].}}

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~~{{Dia|Light| }}~~

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~~{{Dia|Misa|~~ }}

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~~{{Dia|Matsuda|~~ Was that the-}}

{{Dia|Matsuda|OH FUCK. UHHHH. Misa Amane! You're under arrest for suspicions of being the second Kira!}}

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{{Dia|L|It's true, no one has said [[that]] for at least [[ten]] years.}}

{{Dia|Soichiro|Who cares! I'm a dad! So it's in my [[nature]] to be [[unhip]]. And you know what else is in my nature? Loving and appreciating my son. He could [[never]] be Kira. I'll [[lock]] myself up with [[Light]], and if the killings [[continue]], that'll [[prove]] he's not Kira!}}

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~~{{Dia|L|~~k}}

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{{Dia|L|Hmm... Let's keep them for another two weeks. Just for [[fun]]. And let's not tell them the killings continued.}}

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~~{{Dia|L|~~Let's keep them for another two weeks. Just for [[fun]]. And let's not tell them the killings continued.}}

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==Two more weeks later==

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{{Dia|L|And yet. I find myself [[wondering]]... Are there any more [[Geneva Conventions]] I can violate?}}

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~~{{Dia|L|~~Are there any more [[Geneva Conventions]] I can violate?}}

{{Dia|L|Maybe I can ask Chief Yagami to threaten Light's life for the investigation...}}

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{{Dia|HeadofLettuce|Don't remind me... It was a humiliating [[defeat]]... BUT! It did get me into [[The Wiki Camp 2|a camp]]! Something I've always dreamed of!}}

{{Dia|Push Dagger|Have you... actually done anything in this camp!}}

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{{Dia|HeadofLettuce|SHUT UP~~! I've done a lot! Who do you think worked on [[Epic Evil|that team]] of yours?!}}~~

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~~{{Dia|Push Dagger|Uh...}}~~

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~~{{Dia|Push Dagger|[[Daisy]]?}}~~

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~~{{Dia|HeadofLettuce|Oh, those are fighting words!}}~~

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~~{{Dia|Push Dagger|Oh, you're ''on'', [[big]] guy!}}~~

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~~{{Dia|L|Please. No beating up Task Force members. I'm going to need you all alive in order to [[solve]] the Kira case.}}~~

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~~{{Dia|HeadofLettuce|...They started [[it]].}}~~

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~~{{Dia|L|I don't care who started it! I'm ending it~~!}}

{{Dia|L|In addition. Light, you and I will need to be handcuffed [[together]] 24/7.}}

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{{Dia|TheLegend27|We found a couple other things. We found the last [[living]] [[Ultimate Heist Crew]] member. He apparently never noticed Kira tried to [[kill]] him because [[Cat|cats]] have [[9]] lives.}}

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{{Dia|Jurta|kira tried to kill [[me]]?! i'm [[so]]... ''hurta''... 😭}}

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~~{{Dia|Jurta|~~hurta... 😭}}

{{Dia|Jurta|oh hey light! i haven't seen you since [[high school]]! how's it going?}}

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{{Dia|Light|You just need to write a measly little name. Then Misa and I can live happily ever after.}}

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{{Dia|Rem|...Very well. If Misa ends up in true danger, I'll kill L.}}

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~~{{Dia|Rem|~~Very well. If Misa ends up in true danger, I'll kill L.}}

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~~{{Dia|Light| }}~~

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~~{{Dia|Rem|~~ }}

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==In the main room==

{{Dia|Jurta|so if you were to [[Killing God|kill like. zeus or hera or something]] basically the entire greek pantheon would come for your ass, so i suggest starting elsewhere}}

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~~{{Dia|Matsuda|~~WHAT?}}

{{Dia|LiSt|Jurta, we asked you if you had any [[details]] regarding the [[murder]] of [[The Ultimate Heist Crew|your team]]. I'm not sure what exactly you're talking about now.}}

{{Dia|Push Dagger|I mean, I'm [[interested]] regardless. Keep going, [[Jurta]]!}}

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~~{{Dia|LiSt|Then [[that]] means!}}~~

Scar

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