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{{distinguish|California sea lion}}

{{distinguish|California sea lion}}

The California Seal ion is a [[consumer]] grade ion-emitting [[handheld]] device designed and [[shaped]] to look like a [[seal]]. It was created by inventor and scientist [[Nerpus Scubertson]] and was distributed to every resident of California.

The California Seal ion is a [[consumer]] grade ion-emitting [[handheld]] device designed and [[shaped]] to look like a [[seal]]. It was created by inventor and scientist [[Nerpus Scubertson]] and was distributed to every resident of California. Since its release, it has been heralded as one of the greatest inventions ever made in the 21st century.  

[[File:Caliseal ion.png|thumb|Consumer technology has never been cuter!]]

[[File:Caliseal ion.png|thumb|Consumer technology has never been cuter!]]

The California seal ion is designed to be held with two [[hands]] at waist height. The device turns on when the back fins are pushed into an upright position. The front fins are used like a joystick to aim the [[ion blast]], with a button on the back of the body used to fire an ion blast. The general idea is to emit a [[short]] range blast of ion to disable various home electronics that have malfunctioned. A [[screen]] on the back of the device shows many numbers, but it is [[unknown]] what they mean.  

The California seal ion is designed to be held with two [[hands]] at waist height. The device turns on when the back fins are pushed into an upright position. The front fins are used like a joystick to aim the [[ion blast]], with a button on the back of the body used to fire an ion blast. The general idea is to emit a [[short]] range blast of ion to disable various home electronics that have malfunctioned. A [[screen]] on the back of the device shows many numbers, but it is [[unknown]] what they mean.  

===Unofficial Functions===

===Unofficial Functions===

Through the use of [[unauthorised]] modifications, Some unofficial functions of the device have been found. This includes increasing the duration and power, to that of significantly greater amounts than normal. Ports for a laser emitting device add-on have been found, though no official hardware has been released. People using these unauthorised functions of the device have reportedly gone missing, which has led to many not trying them.

Through the use of [[unauthorized]] modifications, Some unofficial functions of the device have been found. This includes increasing the duration and power, to that of significantly greater amounts than normal. Ports for a laser emitting device add-on have been found, though no official hardware has been released. People using these unauthorized functions of the device have reportedly gone missing, which has led to many not trying them. People speculate that the sheer amount of ion produced by modified devices makes people lose all physical form and return to a mostly gaseous state, which is then collected and used to power [[vehicles]].

===Recreational usage===

===Recreational usage===