An anonymous interviewer from news broadcast 777-NEWS has come into close contact with each member.
Padlock
???: So you must be Padlock, the leader?
Padlock: Guilty as charged.
???: And what exactly... motivated you to form this 'awesome radical heist group' as you said?
Padlock: Eh, watched a movie where some guy broke into a building. Think it was called 'Kill Hard' or something.
Padlock: Anyways, I thought 'hey, I could do that too!' so I did. Gotta say, never thought I'd be able to wrangle up these many guys.
???: I see... including Toy Blocks? Considering your relationship with her, it'd seem rather unlikely that they would willingly join a team headed by yourself.
Padlock: Pfft, they've probably gotten over it by now. I mean, that's PROBABLY the case. We're cool, right? ...oh wait she isn't here.
???: How about the others? What are your thoughts on them?
Padlock: Eh, they're a neat little bunch, I'd say. Rotob's pretty cool, someone said they were fast? Could totally run past the cameras without being detected. Go Sign's also pretty sweet, kinda looks like me, too!
???: One final question: why is your so-called 'heist crew' competing in The Wiki Camp?
Padlock: Iunno, it's a side hustle, really. Everyone else thinks it's just a theme, but, heh, they won't know what hit 'em.
Padlock: ...Is... that right? Please tell me that came out right, I really don't wanna repeat tha-
(??? has left)
Padlock: Oh okay, FINE. LEAVE.
Sock Hater
???: Hello, are y-
SOCK HATER: No.
Toy Blocks
???: I take it you're Toy Blocks?
TOY BLOCKS: Thaats meee
???: mmh. Would you like to talk with us for a minute?
TOY BLOCKS: Oh, I'd love to. I've been waiting for Challenge 2 to end and I'm already bored! Haha, ha..
???: What made you decide to join Padlock's heist crew?
(upon the mentioning of the leader's name, Toy Block's grin faulters)
TOY BLOCKS: ..At first I just followed one of my kinda-friends, Sock Hater, onto this team. We don't really know each other that well, but you know, enough to talk about our interests together.
TOY BLOCKS: He mentions to me, see, a team, all about heisting! That's so interesting, you know? Not only a team, but a team with a theme! ...But I have a bit of history with Padlock.
TOY BLOCKS: He ruined the very things I loved!
(Toy Blocks avoids eye contact, grinning a bit more)
TOY BLOCKS: But in a way, that rivalry I have with him sealed my choice.
???: Ah, I think I understand. You want a bit of challenge in your Wiki Camp 2 experience?
TOY BLOCKS: I suppose you could call it something like that. I've been kind of secluded from most other contestants, so it's nice to feel things about people, I guess.
???: How do you feel about your other teammates?
TOY BLOCKS: I'm not really sure how to feel yet. Jurta's nice to me at least, and What freaks me out a little. But those are all kind of surface level, I've yet to create a strong bond, really. Hope that changes..
???: You say What scares you? Why is that?
TOY BLOCKS: I guess it's a mixture of fear and admiration. On one hand, it's -- so cool! Have you seen its guitar?
TOY BLOCKS: But on the other hand, there's this air of something wrong when I'm near it.
TOY BLOCKS: Like something's amiss
TOY BLOCKS: ..Sends a shiver down my nonexistent vertebrae! Haha..
???: Ah, I see.
???: Well, I should be going. Thank you for your time.
TOY BLOCKS: Hey, always available!
(??? leaves the scene)
Jurta
???: Hey, you're Jurta, right?
JURTA: Yeah.
???: Mind answering a few questions for me? Just for a few minutes.
JURTA: Sure. I'm not really doing anything right now so I have time.
???: Alright. So, why did you decide to join The Ultimate Heist Crew?
JURTA: Well, to be honest, I'm not really bothered with what team I join, so I choosed to joined this team when I had the chance. So far, I've had an alright time here!
???: I see. How do you feel about the whole "heist" theme?
JURTA: I don't mind it, actually. In fact, I find it to be really interesting. Makes me think what my team has planned, really.
???: Even when it's connected to crime?
JURTA: That's what I should've suspected to begin with. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'll get involved in any crimes, but I don't know. Not really the type of person to let my teammates down, you know?
???: Alright, and speaking of, how do you feel about your teammates?
JURTA: I think they're pretty alright, actually! Toy Blocks is really friendly to everyone and Rotob is quite interesting in my opinion. Honestly, I'm just a cat among a bunch of objects, haha.
???: What makes you say that about Rotob?
JURTA: Well... Rotob just goes, really fast, you know? It seems to really enjoy doing that, and I guess I like watching it do its thing. I don't know, it just makes me feel... intrigued in a way.
???: Alright. Well, that's all I have to ask from you. Thanks for talking with me.
JURTA: Hey, no problem.
(??? leaves)
Mangrove
???: Hello. You must be Mangrove?
MANGROVE: Indeed.
???: I see. Would you mind answering a few questions?
(Mangrove looks off to the side.)
MANGROVE: I'm sort of occupied, but I've got time for a couple.
???: Alright. What made you join The Ultimate Heist Crew?
MANGROVE: The promise and allure of riches, of course! My own skills could be the edge my team needs to successfully pull off a grand heist.
???: Is that why you're growing out your vines?
MANGROVE: Why, yes! To put it eloquently, ropes are prime tools for thievery!
MANGROVE: At least, from what I've seen in movies... How often is it necessary to lower someone down into a vault, really?
???: So, you're in on committing crimes?
MANGROVE: Well... it doesn't matter if we don't get caught, right? Even if we do, I'm sure we have the charisma to find our way out of it.
???: Hm. And any thoughts about the other competitors on your team?
MANGROVE: I'm glad Toy Blocks and Sketchy made it onto here. They were my prime picks for wooden alliance members!
MANGROVE: And What has some excellent taste in music, if I do say so myself.
MANGROVE: Overall, we have a whole repertoire of abilities to work with. Challenges'll be a breeze!
???: Thank you for your time. Any closing remarks?
(Mangrove looks back at their journal.)
MANGROVE: I would, but as I mentioned, I'm a bit busy. Catch you later.
Rotob
[IMAGE UNAVAILABLE]
???: Youāre uhā¦ āRotobā?
ROTOB: uhhā¦ yea.
???: Ah, good! Would you mind answering a few short questions for me?
ROTOB: uhm uhhh yea yea um uea yea
???: Whatās with the stutter?
ROTOB: ā¦lā¦l.
Processingā¦
ā¦.
Processingā¦.
(Thereās an almost 30 second pause.)
ROTOB: i like to runā¦ fast
???: Huh? Whyās that.
ROTOB: it keeps me fromā¦ overheatingā¦
(By the end of that last remark, Rotob had skittered away.)
Sketchy
???: You're Sketchy, right?
(Sketchy nods in agreement.)
???: Would you mind us asking you a few questions?
(Sketchy gives a thumbs-up.)
???: Great. For starters, why did you join this team?
Sketchy:
???: I see. Were you aware that this team actually committed crimes?
(Sketchy appears to be shocked for a moment, and then proceeds to answer the question.)
Sketchy:
???: Interesting... By any chance, do you know who this "Editor" mentioned on your page is?
Sketchy:
(Following this, ??? felt a strange feeling of disapproval beyond the fourth wall of the room the interview was taking place in. ??? would later describe this feeling as "someone silently going "Aw come on!"")
???: That will be all, thank you.
(Sketchy nods in agreement and proceeds to go back to what they were doing before. ??? nervously exits the room, going on to say that they "don't get paid enough for this.")
What
???: Sorry to bother you, are you What?
WHAT: yo mama
???: Excuse me?
WHAT: your big fanny granny
???: Well, I hardly think that's-
WHAT: your slap-happy grandpappy
(this went on for several minutes.)
???: Anyway, what made you decide to join Padlock's heist crew?
WHAT: well yknow im strumming my guitar looking for teams
WHAT: shifting ever so slightly from left to right as i slide across the campgrounds
WHAT: and some guy wants to make a team based solely around illegal activity
WHAT: so i thought why tf not? im joining i could show them my expertise
WHAT: after i showed them my wicked kickflip they accepted me as a trusted teammate
???: Would you... Care to elaborate?
WHAT: hell no
WHAT: whatre you a cop
???: Ah... Fair.
???: How do you feel about your teammates?
WHAT: buncha cool dudes
WHAT: we got the main captain broski padlock and my partner in not war-crime
WHAT: some blocks
WHAT: (i stole one and she hasnt noticed)
WHAT: and some liquidated bacon yum
???: Certainly descriptions if I've ever heard them. I'm off to interview some of the others, thanks for your time!
WHAT: cya too
WHAT: remember to vote me in the winners bracket
???: I... Have no idea what that is.
WHAT: friggin tourneykids
Multiball
The Big Cheese
???: Greetings! Are you..
(??? squints at their notes, re-reading it a few times.)
???: ..."The Big Cheese"?
TBC: it's pronounced "THE BIG CHEESE"! common mistake.
???: Is that not what I said?
TBC: you have to say it in caps!
???: ...Well, ..THE BIG CHEESE, do you mind answering a few questions?
(TBC rocks around his tower of books, appearing to deeply ponder the question.)
TBC: mmm.. sure thing buddy!
???: Alright. So, what made you join The Heist Crew?
TBC: the ULTIMATE heist crew!
???: Right.
TBC: well my good man im glad you asked! i just thought this team was missing someone such as myself.
TBC: i could bring a little oomph to the team, if you know what i mean.
???: I don't.
TBC: plus any good heist needs a little guy to get through the small spaces.
???: I suppose that's true.
???: So, acknowledging your stature, why the name "THE BIG CHEESE"?
TBC: don't mistake me for someone in denial!
TBC: when you're my size, you need to make an impact! a big name gets the job done with minimal effort
???: You give me a headache.
TBC: it comes and goes.
???: How do you feel about your teammates?
TBC: frankly i dont have a grasp on them yet! i have been observing though. come back to me!
???: Do you have any closing words?
TBC: remember to like and subscribe. and turn on the notification bell so you never miss a video :)
Go Sign
???: Aha, there you are! You must be Go Sign.
GO SIGN: Suuure am.
???: Is everything alright? You seem a bitā¦
GO SIGN: Why yes. Youāll have to forgive my cranky countenance, itās not usual. Iāve just been in a bit of a sour mood today.
???: Whyās that?
GO SIGN: It happened during breakfast. Iād just poured the last bowl of my favorite cereal. I was all ready to chow down, when I knocked it over with my elbow. Got the last of the cerealāand milkāall over the floor.
???: Iām very sorry to hear about that, are you holding up okay?.
GO SIGN: Nothing to worry over, Iām certain this interview will get my mind off things.
???: Thatās a good way to look at it.
GO SIGN: Like I always say, gotta keep a positive attitude and an open mind!
???: Ha, wonderful! In that case, letās get right into the first question.
GO SIGN: Letās!
???: What exactly prompted you to join The Ultimate Heist Crew?
GO SIGN: Oh you know, a few reasons. I originally joined because of an insatiable desire for power, but I ended up pleasantly surprised when I met this lovely bunch of friendly faces!
???: Ah, your teammates. How do you feel about them?
GO SIGN: I feel a sense of belonging here, yāknow? Traffic Regulator is a fellow traffic sign, and Padlock has the same eye thing I do, for instance. Almost feels like destiny, like this is the team I was meant to be on.
???: Destiny, huh? So thatās why you joined?
GO SIGN: That and a hunger for power, yes. Oh! And I thought the crewād be able to make good use of my talents too.
???: Talents? What kind?
GO SIGN: Well, for one, Iām a darn great joke teller!
???: Are you now?
GO SIGN: Yup! Iāll tell ya one of my favorites right nowā¦
???: Iād love to hear it, but weāre on a tight schedule, so youāll have to save it for the end.
GO SIGN: Aw shucks!
???: Do you have any other special abilities or talents?
GO SIGN: Not that Iām aware of. Just a positive attitude and a good olā sense of humor.
???: I see. Onto the next question, are you aware of what your team does?
GO SIGN: Whatever do you mean?
???: The heists. Stealing things.
GO SIGN: Ohhh, that! I was off-put at first, but itās like I say, keep a positive attitude and an open mind!
???: I donāt think this is a very appropriate place to apply that.
GO SIGN: Nonsense! I wonāt knock it ātil Iāve tried it. I might even be good at it and want to become a full-time robber.
???: Well, thatās not what I-
GO SIGN: But I digress, whatās the next question?
???: Ah, ahem. Well, That was all I had for today. Hmm, what was the joke you started telling earlier?
GO SIGN: Oh yes! Well, let me rememberā¦hoo! Haha, So, thereās this frog, right? Hehe. He walks into- HA! āScuse me. Walks into the bank and- HAHAHOOHAHEHEHAaaoohh, youāll have to forgive me. Itās a real knee-slapper. So heā¦HEHEHA!!!
(as Go Signās laughter transforms his now neutral expression into a dopey grin, the interviewer spontaneously bolts off in Go Signās direction, continuing to run out onto the horizon)
GO SIGN: Heeheeāohā¦Guess they werenāt kidding about being on a tight schedule.
ā¦
GO SIGN: I suppose then Iāll have to ask me the rest of the questions myself!
ā¦
GO SIGN: That was another joke. I came up with that one on the spot.
ā¦
GO SIGN: Hahaha, I sure do crack myself up sometimes!
Traffic Regulator
???: Hello, I take it you're Traffic Regulator?
TRAFFIC REGULATOR: Probably!
???: What prompted you to join The Ultimate Heist Crew?
TRAFFIC REGULATOR: Well, I haven't been entirely sure about the theming, but I knew if I didn't join a team I'd probably be eliminated.
TRAFFIC REGULATOR: I just kinda followed Sock Hater and Toy Blocks. I'm a little familiar with them and it will probably be easier if my team has someone I know.
???: Why are you unsure of your team's theming?
TRAFFIC REGULATOR: A heist crew theme does seem a little fun, but I'm not entirely on board with actually committing crimes.
TRAFFIC REGULATOR: Padlock seems a little too enthusiastic about the theme for me, and I'm not even sure why. What would we even steal? Wiki Articles?
???: Why is your head on fire?
TRAFFIC REGULATOR: I just needed a haircut.
(??? looks visibly disturbed.)
???: Do you... grow.. hair??
TRAFFIC REGULATOR: Okay, I don't really have hair. I actually don't remember why I'm on fire at all, but part of me felt obligated to give at least some sort of coherent explanation.
TRAFFIC REGULATOR: I'm not sure where I was going with that.
???: I see...
(??? runs away)
Sock Hater (Attempt #2)
???: I'm glad you finally decided to be interviewed by us, Sock Hater.
SOCK HATER: You're not the usual interviewer guy. Who ARE YOU?
???: That's not of your concern. I am the one asking questions.
SOCK HATER: I'M just CURIOUS. sheesh.
???: So, why did you decide to join your team?
SOCK HATER: Well, I assumed the other teams that were forming wouldn't appreciate my...attitude. When I found out there was an entire team focused on being RUDE and COOL, I thought "NOW THAT'S THE TEAM FOR ME!!!"
???: So, you're aware of your reputation?
SOCK HATER: What?
SOCK HATER: ...Oh, I see. I know that people think I'm a jerk. I don't really care anymore. Every time I did try to care, it never worked out.
???: ...
???: Would you care to elaborate?
SOCK HATER: No.
SOCK HATER: ...But I don't ...TRY to be a jerk.
???: What's your thoughts on the other team members?
SOCK HATER: It seems like they yell at me for everything I do.
SOCK HATER: "OH, SOCK HATER! DON'T RIP UP JURTA'S STOCKINGS" (how was I supposed to know they were stockings???)
SOCK HATER: "SOCK HATER, DON'T BRING US INTO DEBT!!!"
SOCK HATER: "SOCK HATER, WHY DID YOU DELETE MY PART IN EDIT WAR???"
SOCK HATER: "AHHH, SOCK HATER, YOU BROUGHT A DINOSAUR INTO OUR WORLD AND IT'S EATING THE BIG CHEESE!!!"
SOCK HATER: I guess even my team doesn't understand me.
SOCK HATER: ...but they haven't kicked me out yet, so....
SOCK HATER: ...
SOCK HATER: I don't know if you do this, but ...can you not show this to my other teammates?
???: Don't worry, we don't.
SOCK HATER: That's a relief.
SOCK HATER: ...Now can I ask why YOU'RE interviewing me?
???: No.
Non-Contestants
For interviews of the Ultimate Heist Crew's non-contestant members, see their pages.