As-Is Records
As-Is Records (formerly As-Is Records 2.0) is a multinational entertainment conglomerate headquartered in Cincinnati, Ohio. It was founded as a record store in Chicago in 1971, and received notoriety for its rapid expansion into music ownership & distribution. It represents Playlist, a contestant of The Wiki Camp 2. It has undergone multiple leadership changes, purchased first by Sealon Musk and later by EyeDol Games.
History
Founding
As-Is Records started as The Arsenic Shop, a tiny little music store on the corner of Fifth & Wabash, just down the block from the ice cream shop and the hot dogs.[citation needed] It was originally run by Jim Arsenic, the head of this little[citation needed] company. Jim has always loved music[citation needed] and would pay the local kids five[citation needed] bucks to play a really, really good[citation needed] song. One day, Jim's buddy[citation needed] Stu Instrumental Services told him, "hey, why don't you make it official? You should be paying a lot more than five bucks to those little tykes!"[citation needed] Jim agreed, and the two of them decided to use the proceeds from the little music store to get those talented youngsters to perform original songs out back the shop.[citation needed] A tradition became a business, and a business became a legend.[citation needed] Jim and Stu remained close friends,[citation needed] even after Stu left the company due to creative differences.[citation needed]
Layoffs
On October 7, 2022, with the announcement of Halftime, As-Is Records laid off 39,998 people in observance of the new restriction on team sizes. As of October 7, As-Is Records consisted of two employees: Jim Arsenic and Playlist, their sole client. When As-Is Records did not win the two-member prize, they hired back nearly 80% of their former employees, returning to a size of 31,500.
First acquisition
On November 18 2022, As-Is Records was purchased by Sealon Musk for an undisclosed sum. Jim Arsenic stated in interviews that he is "okay" with the purchase. In the press release announcing the purchase, Musk promised to make their musical clients "more hardcore than ever" and take their musical performances to the next level. He intends to "revolutionize the music industry" with "new types of sound that nobody has ever heard." Musk has no musical experience. On the evening of November 18, the corporation formerly known as Arsenic Instrumental Services & Records Corp. instead became known as "As-Is Records 2.0." The CEO stated that this would be a new direction for the company, expressing disinterest in "keeping around all the extra words. What do they even mean?" He is also alleged to have sent out an important email to the company's 31,500 employees, although the contents of this email remain unknown.
Second acquisition
On September 10, 2026, As-Is Records 2.0 was again purchased for an undisclosed sum by The CEBro, chief executive officer of EyeDol Games. It retains its prior contracts, but now additionally oversees distribution of the Zampanio soundtrack and related works. To aid in the transition, the CEBro hired a team of Wikilandian experts and partners. As of September 2026, the board consists of:
- The Closer - EyeDol Games representative
- Michael Bloomberg - Chief Shnasty Officer
- Spike - Spits Out And Throws Spikeballs At Enemys Of Corporation
- Mr. Snrub - Chief Financial Officer
- Sealon Musk - Gay Baby Jail
- TheDeviousSeal32 - Judgement Officer
- The Target - Board Secretary
The CEBro stated an interest in searching for Muses willing to contribute to the operation of As-Is Records. As stated by the CEBro herself, "MUSE. MUS-IC. SOMETHING'S HAPPENING HERE, DUDE." Her attempts to recruit muses to the board have, thus far, been ineffectual due to the company's lack of an ambinarrative bridging officer. The board's current stated priority is to move As-Is Records to Westerville, Ohio before 2030, and to show each of its 31,500 employees how fun mazes are.
Hog Rider
Everyone at As-Is Records loves the Hog Rider, and loves people who love the Hog Rider. Please take note of this if you love the Hog Rider! Due to the acquisition, As-Is Records' current position on the Hog Rider is unknown.
Music Publishing
| Band | Contract Begins | Albums Released | Fate |
|---|---|---|---|
| Goofy and the Whatchamacallems | 04/04/1998 |
|
Defunct, 9/2/2003 |
| Baskets of Caskets | 10/31/1999 |
|
Defunct, 6/3/2008 |
| Ill-Advised Chess Openings | 01/01/2000 |
|
Defunct, 01/02/2000 |
| - | - | - | Information on artists between 2000 and 2022 is unknown. The company appears to have destroyed its records of artists contracted during this time. |
| Playlist | 10/05/2022 |
|
Active |
Controversies
None!
Guys It's OK