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Animal Kingdom (view source)

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  | label4 = Synonyms | data4 = {{Hlist|''Animalia''|''Metazoa''|''[[Synonyms for ratio|Proportion]]''}}
 
  | label4 = Synonyms | data4 = {{Hlist|''Animalia''|''Metazoa''|''[[Synonyms for ratio|Proportion]]''}}
 
  | header5 = [[Top 5 animals for beginners]]
 
  | header5 = [[Top 5 animals for beginners]]
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  | data6 = <small>paper nikos are placeholders...feel free to replace...</small><br>{{Ci|Paper Niko|50}}{{Ci|Paper Niko|50}}{{Ci|Paper Niko|50}}{{Ci|Paper Niko|50}}{{Ci|Paper Niko|50}}
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  | data6 = [[File:pig voting icon.png|50px|link=Pig]][[File:laughing cow voting icon.png|50px|link=Cow]][[File:dog voting icon.png|50px|link=Dog]][[File:nina voting icon.png|50px|link=Cat]][[File:crouton voting icon.png|50px|link=Fish]]
 
}}
 
}}
 
The '''Animal Kingdom''' is [[Disney World|da jungle where all the animals are]] and there's a [[Tiger|big king lion]].{{wrong}}
 
The '''Animal Kingdom''' is [[Disney World|da jungle where all the animals are]] and there's a [[Tiger|big king lion]].{{wrong}}
 +
<h2 style="display:none;">The Animal Kingdom</h2><h2 style="display:none;">The Animal Kingdom</h2><h2 style="display:none;">The Animal Kingdom</h2>
 
== Etymology ==
 
== Etymology ==
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Animal Kingdom may be a [[Combo|combination]] of ''animal'' and ''kingdom''. Contrary to popular belief, ''kingdom'' is actually a misnomer because animals [[Evolution|became smart after a while]].
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Animal Kingdom may be a [[Combo|combination]] of ''[[animal]]'' and ''[[kingdom]]''. Contrary to popular belief, ''kingdom'' is actually a misnomer because animals [[Evolution|became smart after a while]].
    
<table style="border-spacing: 0; margin-bottom:1em;"><tr>
 
<table style="border-spacing: 0; margin-bottom:1em;"><tr>
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<td><div style="position:relative; right:2px; vertical-align:middle; background:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.5); border-radius:1em; color:white; font-family:'verdana'; max-width:100%; font-size:10pt; word-wrap:break-word; padding:0.8em;">But together...We can make it a [https://youtu.be/c9RzZpV460k <span style="color:pink; text-shadow:0 0 10px pink;">queendom</span>]!!</div></td>
 
<td><div style="position:relative; right:2px; vertical-align:middle; background:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.5); border-radius:1em; color:white; font-family:'verdana'; max-width:100%; font-size:10pt; word-wrap:break-word; padding:0.8em;">But together...We can make it a [https://youtu.be/c9RzZpV460k <span style="color:pink; text-shadow:0 0 10px pink;">queendom</span>]!!</div></td>
 
</tr></table>
 
</tr></table>
 +
<h3 style="display:none;">The Animal Kingdom</h3>
 +
 +
=== Entomology ===
 +
Entomology is the study of bugs, a type of animal, making it a viable career path in the Animal Kingdom.
 +
 +
==== Etymology ====
 +
Entomology comes from the ancient [[Greece|Greek]] word "''entomon''", a type of [[Digimon]], and "-ology", meaning loggy πŸ₯Ί.
    
== Biology ==
 
== Biology ==
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# Their cells lack a [[Dodgeball|nice and firm]] exterior [[Garganacl|wall]]
 
# Their cells lack a [[Dodgeball|nice and firm]] exterior [[Garganacl|wall]]
 
# They have [[Choice|free will]]
 
# They have [[Choice|free will]]
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{{cladogram|title=Sample taxonomy|caption=Animals of all shapes and sizes roam the Animal Kingdom.|align=left|cladogram=
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Beyond this, animals vary wildly. While most animals have a backbone, fur, milk production, an enlarged brain, and upright bipedalism, the others are not so [[Luck|lucky]]. The first animals were underwater and thus very [[wet]], but eventually evolved the sensibility to get [[dry]]. To this day, all animals are either wet [[Logic gate#Xor|xor]] dry.{{cladogram|title=Sample taxonomy|caption=Animals of all shapes and sizes roam the Animal Kingdom.|align=left|cladogram=
 
{{clade|label1='''Animalia'''
 
{{clade|label1='''Animalia'''
 
|1=
 
|1=
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   |2=
 
   |2=
 
     {{clade
 
     {{clade
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     |label1=Felidae
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     |label1=[[Kingdom of Cats|Felidae]]
 
     |1={{clade|{{Opponent|Jurta}}|{{Opponent|Kiny}}|{{Opponent|Teenage Trouble Claws}}|{{Opponent|Daisy}}}}
 
     |1={{clade|{{Opponent|Jurta}}|{{Opponent|Kiny}}|{{Opponent|Teenage Trouble Claws}}|{{Opponent|Daisy}}}}
 
     |label2=Huh?
 
     |label2=Huh?
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     |2={{clade|1={{clade|label1=[[:Category:Confusing pages (official)|Confusing]]|sublabel1=''(official)''|1={{clade|[[File:FinfinEURGH.png|link=Fin fin|20px]] [[Fin fin]]|[[File:Girl Mario.png|x20px|link=Girl Mario]] [[Girl Mario]]}}}}|2={{Opponent|What}}?|3={{clade|label1=Perturbing|1={{clade|1={{Opponent|The Eater of Wikis}}|2={{clade|label1=Uncanny|1={{clade|1={{Opponent|Paper Niko}}|2={{Opponent|Twimble}}}}}}|label3=Lagomorpha|3={{clade|[[File:DiaMax.png|20px|link=Max]] [[Max]]|[[File:PWool.webp|20px|link=Boni]] [[Boni]]}}}}}}}}
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     |2={{clade|1={{clade|label1=[[:Category:Confusing pages (official)|Confusing]]|sublabel1=''(official)''|1={{clade|[[File:FinfinEURGH.png|link=Fin fin|20px]] [[Fin fin]]|[[File:Girl Mario.png|x20px|link=Girl Mario]] [[Girl Mario]]}}}}|2={{Opponent|What}}?|3={{clade|label1=Perturbing|1={{clade|2={{Opponent|The Eater of Wikis}}|1={{clade|label1=[[Uncanny]]|{{clade|1={{Opponent|Paper Niko}}|2={{Opponent|Twimble}}}}}}|3={{clade|label1=Lagomorpha|{{clade|[[File:DiaMax.png|20px|link=Max]] [[Max]]|[[File:PWool.webp|20px|link=Boni]] [[Boni]]}}}}}}}}}}
 
     |label3=Canidae
 
     |label3=Canidae
 
     |3={{clade|[[File:DiaSam.png|20px|link=Sam]] [[Sam]]|[[File:DiaWolfGif.gif|20px|link=Wollf]] [[Wolf]]}}
 
     |3={{clade|[[File:DiaSam.png|20px|link=Sam]] [[Sam]]|[[File:DiaWolfGif.gif|20px|link=Wollf]] [[Wolf]]}}
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}}
 
}}
 
}}
 
}}
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{{clear}}
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Animals are the only animals to have a [[brain]]. And even then, the loathsome [[jelly]][[fish]] lacks one. With a brain, animals are capable of many things, such as [[emotions]], fear of [[death]], and [[The Toy Where You Put The Shape In The Corresponding HoIe|problem-solving]]. However, it's amazing that the animal body can live without the frontal lobe, you know.
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 +
<h2 style="display:none;">The Animal Kingdom</h2>
 
== History ==
 
== History ==
 +
[[File:What kind of gamer are you.png|200px|thumb|right|Are you old enough to remember this?]]
 
The Animal Kingdom was wished upon a [[star]], willed into existence by an [[Stuff Blowing Up|explosion]] most twee. It was the youngest of the [[Challenge 9: The Seven Kingdoms|the Seven Kingdoms]], out-eldered by the [[Bacteria Kingdom]], [[Archaea Kingdom]], [[Protozoa Kingdom]], [[Chromista Kingdom]], [[Plant Kingdom]], and [[Fungus Kingdom]]. Those first four are all useless specks ([[germ]]s), so frankly they're basically the [[Puny Kingdom]]s.
 
The Animal Kingdom was wished upon a [[star]], willed into existence by an [[Stuff Blowing Up|explosion]] most twee. It was the youngest of the [[Challenge 9: The Seven Kingdoms|the Seven Kingdoms]], out-eldered by the [[Bacteria Kingdom]], [[Archaea Kingdom]], [[Protozoa Kingdom]], [[Chromista Kingdom]], [[Plant Kingdom]], and [[Fungus Kingdom]]. Those first four are all useless specks ([[germ]]s), so frankly they're basically the [[Puny Kingdom]]s.
   βˆ’
The first resident was the humble peanut. It was sad and a little pathetic, but [https://youtu.be/xuCn8ux2gbs?t=194 one thing led to another] and the Animal Kingdom soon found its footing in a [[future]] blessed by [[Iphone|smartphone]]s and [[MePhone 4|technology]].
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The first resident of the Animal Kingdom was the humble peanut. It was sad and a little pathetic, but [https://youtu.be/xuCn8ux2gbs?t=194 one thing led to another] and the Animal Kingdom soon found its footing in a [[future]] blessed by [[Iphone|smartphone]]s and [[MePhone 4|technology]].
    +
=== Post-History ===
 +
Also known as the [[Future]], the path ahead for Animal Kingdom remains all but uncertain. [[:File:Bald Pibby.png|Eggheads]] predict that in just the next 10 years, over [[A lot|99%]] of all animal life will go kaput. Due to the [[danger]]. Following such catastrophic collapse, the remaining animals will have to band together into an unlikely ragtag group of heroes to bring da freakin' animals back. Are ''[[you]]'' up to the [[Challenge 9: The Seven Kingdoms|challenge]]?
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==== Super-Distant Future ====
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The '''Super-Distant Future''' takes place over 30 million years after the Future. So many things could change in such a short amount of time. It is possible that animals of that age will be unrecognizable to us, if they exist at all. Whatever intelligent life remains will communicate in an indecipherable manner, saying things like "Honey, have you seen my [[iPhone]] 378? I need it to preorder my [[PS6]]."{{clear}}
 
== Legal system and governance ==
 
== Legal system and governance ==
 
The Animal Kingdom operates by the [[Law of the Jungle]]. The biggest animal is the king (typically a lion, though sometimes a [[The Giant Rat Who Makes All of the Rules|rat]]). Whatever the king [[Template:Dia|says]], [[Go|goes]].  
 
The Animal Kingdom operates by the [[Law of the Jungle]]. The biggest animal is the king (typically a lion, though sometimes a [[The Giant Rat Who Makes All of the Rules|rat]]). Whatever the king [[Template:Dia|says]], [[Go|goes]].  
βˆ’
[[File:Isabelle Heart.png|<div style="position:relative;">{{Blink|<div style{{=}}"position:absolute; bottom:3px; left:-3px;background:white;">[[File:TPIsabelle DivineHeart.png|200px]]</div>}}</div>The king often delegates [[taxes]] and other meaningless work to a secretary. {{Blink|''<span style{{=}}"font-size:smaller;">Not unlike a certain [[The Divine Goddess]]...🀫</span>''}}|thumb|200px]]
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[[File:Isabelle Heart.png|<div style="position:relative;">{{Blink|<div style{{=}}"position:absolute; bottom:3px; left:-3px;background:white;">[[File:TPIsabelle DivineHeart.png|200px]]</div>}}</div>The king often delegates [[taxes]] and other meaningless work to a secretary. {{Blink|''<span style{{=}}"font-size:smaller;">Not unlike a certain [[The Divine Goddess]]...🀫</span>''}}|thumb|200px]] [[File:Nooper.gif|thumb|200px|Ah! The king has a [[shy]] guest at the door...]]
 
=== Heads of state ===
 
=== Heads of state ===
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{| class="wikitable"
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{| class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed wikitable"
βˆ’
|+
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! colspan="4" | Heads of state by lineage 
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|-
 
!Name
 
!Name
 
!Position
 
!Position
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|Figurehead. [[Talk:Powerscaling|The actual king remains a topic of spirited debate]].
 
|Figurehead. [[Talk:Powerscaling|The actual king remains a topic of spirited debate]].
 
|}
 
|}
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=== Hierarchy ===
 +
If you know, you know. If you don't, then, well...''see [[Animal Kingdom#Cuisine|Animal Kingdom § Cuisine]] for more...🀫''
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<h4 style="display:none;">The Animal Kingdom</h4>
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 +
== Culture ==
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The Animal Kingdom is like a family.<ref>ERRATA: Family is below kingdom, cladistically.</ref> Everybody knows everybody.
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<div id="mw-customcollapsible-cuisine" class="mw-collapsible mw-customtoggle-cuisine mw-customtoggle-foodchain">
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=== Cuisine ===
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Animal Kingdom cuisine is distinguished by its heavy use of [[berries]], [[peas]], [[egg]]<nowiki/>s, [[honey]], and [[cheese]].
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{| class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed wikitable"
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! colspan="4" | Cook book 
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|-
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!Food
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!Genre
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!Ingredients
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!Preparation
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|-
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|Cheese + Berry Soup
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|Soup
 +
|
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* Cheese
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* Berries
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* Water
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* Heat
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|width=50%|Prepare water to boil. After the first precious [[bubble]] pops, add cheese and berries. Stir for 1 minute, then serve hot.
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|-
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|CheeseBerry Soup Bar
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|Gelatinous bar
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|
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* Cheese + Berry Soup
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* Powdered sugar
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* Cold
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|Prepare CheeseBerry Soup. Pour into rectangular mold, then let sit in refrigerated cupboard overnight. Serve with powdered sugar.
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|-
 +
|Berry My Surprise
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|Shocking
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|
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* Berries
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* Veil
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|Gather berries and prepare in a dish. Cover dish with opaque veil, preferably [[Black (color)|black]]. Once served, remove veil to discover which berries were chosen.
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|-
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|Egg
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|Egg Humor
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|
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* Eggs (variable)
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|Discover nest or burrow with eggs. Swallow eggs whole, then escape to avoid retaliation by egg-layer.
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|-
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|Honey-dipped Pea Mush
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|Mushy
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|
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* Peas (10 minimum)
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* Honey
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|Place peas into mortar, or is it the pestle. Use pestle, or is it the mortar, to grind peas into fine mush. Grind until peas lose all individuality. Eat by hand, dipping mush into cup of honey.
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|-
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|Heart of the Storm
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|Shocking
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|
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* Heart
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* Liquid mercury
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* Baking soda
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|Soak heart in liquid mercury for 20 minutes to make conductive. Once saturated, place heart outside on an elevated surface during a lightning storm. Once struck, retrieve heart and coat in baking soda. Let simmer overday in direct sunlight. Serve in diced cubes.
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|-
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|Bread
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|Common
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|
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* Wheat
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* Yeast
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* Water
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* Heat
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|Grind wheat into flour, then add to water to make a squishy dough. Add yeast to make the dough alive, then kill dough with high heat in an oven. Stop baking once bread has risen and turned a golden brown.
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|-
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|Toast
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|Uncommon
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|
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* Bread
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* Coil
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|Continuing from process of making bread, place bread slice on superheated metal coil. Pick a number between 1-9.
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[[File:97 year old bread.png|231x231px]]
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Remove slice once appearance matches number. One's gotta go πŸ˜‚.
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|}
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</div>
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<div id="mw-customcollapsible-foodchain" class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed">
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<div style="font-weight:bold; font-size:1.2em; margin-top:0.3em; padding-top:0.5em;"><s>Cuisine</s> THE FOOD CHAIN</div>
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...NOT! In this world, it's [[Undertale|kill or be killed]]! Yup, it's true...
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{{#css:
 +
.tritable {
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text-align: center;
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width: fit-content;
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}
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.tritable .tri-row::before {
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content: "";
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background: #000;
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width: 3px;
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height: 50px;
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transform: skewX(-45deg);
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display: inline-block;
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position: relative;
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vertical-align: middle;
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left: 26px;
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}
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.tritable .tri-row::after {
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content: "";
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background: #000;
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width: 3px;
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height: 50px;
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transform: skewX(45deg);
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display: inline-block;
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position: relative;
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vertical-align: middle;
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left: -26px;
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}
 +
.tritable .tri-cell {
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border-bottom: 2px #000 solid;
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vertical-align: bottom;
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height: 50px;
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width: 50px;
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display: inline-flex;
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justify-content: center;
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align-items: center;
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.tritable .tri-cell:first-child {
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padding-left: 25px;
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.tritable .tri-cell:last-child {
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padding-right: 25px;
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.tritable .tri-row {
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height: 50px;
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.tritable .tri-cell > span {
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display: table-cell;
 +
vertical-align: middle;
 +
}
 +
}}
 +
{{clear}}
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<center>'''visit MyFoodPyramid.ak'''
 +
<div class=tritable>
 +
<div><div class=tri-row><div class=tri-cell>[[Lion]]</div></div>
 +
<div><div class=tri-row><div class=tri-cell><div style="font-size:8px;">[[Nerpolinus Nerplexus' Numinous Nimbostratic Weather Machine!|Weather Machines]]<ref>Weather Machines were recently ordered under ''Animalia'' following intense debate</ref></div></div><div class=tri-cell>[[Whale]]</div><div class=tri-cell>[[πŸ¦…]]</div></div></div>
 +
<div><div class=tri-row><div class=tri-cell>[[Chubs]]</div><div class=tri-cell>[[Pikmin]]</div><div class=tri-cell>[[Spike]]</div><div class=tri-cell>[[Lalafly]]</div><div class=tri-cell>[[File:Bouncywikilogo.gif|20px|link=Wikipedia]]</div></div></div>
 +
</div>
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</div>
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 +
</center>
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 +
The Animal Kingdom is notable for its glorious invention of predation. While stupid plants and algae make their own food, some wise guy had the bright idea to just eat other things instead. Predation has the advantage of seeing badass [[blood]] and killing. The lowest peasantry of the Animal Kingdom selflessly sacrifice their potential energy to the cake layer above in some sort of scheme. Modern technology cannot easily render triangles on the web, so the dorito above has been stripped to its bare essentials. As shown, the king sits at the very top, reaping the additional benefit of accumulating all sneaky heavy metals and microplastics found in the lower levels.
 +
</div>
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 +
==== Agriculture ====
 +
To sustain such worldly ravenous beasts, the Animal Kingdom has developed a highly sophisticated form of agriculture. [[Rain]], nature's irrigator, is frequently used to water fields of crops. Animals also developed '''crop stagnation''', which is like crop rotation except every rotation jumps a full cycle, leaving the crops where they were at the start. This has the benefit of basically speeding up the whole process.
 +
 +
After [[Template:Harvest theater|harvest]], the animals that worked hard at farming are given a great [[reward]] by those higher up the hierarchy: a glorious bath! The baths take place in large cauldron-like tubs filled with water heated by an [[open]] flame, and some of the crops harvested are chopped up and added to the bath to symbolically represent the fruits of the bathers' labor. Other worker benefits include a whole [[apple]] applied directly to mouth, herbal treatments involving salt and [[Copper Pepper|pepper]], and ''permanent'' vacation.
 +
 +
=== Taboos ===
 +
Taboos are a set of ''faux pas'' (lit. "fake paws") in a society that get you [[Flonger|cancelled]] for doing. Taboos in the Animal Kingdom include:
 +
 +
==== Taxidermy ====
 +
Taxidermy is the process of stuffing a dead animal silly. Unlike the noble [[teddy bear]], taxidermy aims for [[:File:3Dordle.png|realism]] over stylization. Thus, taxidermy is frowned upon and even [[Blacklist|blacklisted]] due to a lack of [[soul]].
 +
 +
==== Murder ====
 +
In the Animal Kingdom, murder is actually frowned upon, as it goes against the local sacred tenet of "𒁃", which means "to live". Don't get it [[Pearnut whirlish|twisted]] with predation, that's fine.
 +
 +
==== 7 ====
 +
The number [[7]] is considered unlucky in the Animal Kingdom. No one knows why. This avoidance of the number seven produces s*veral quirks, such as animals avoiding having seven legs, or animals abstaining from working on all seven days of the week.
 +
 +
== Population<ref>Growing</ref> ==
 +
As of the 2010 census:
 +
*100 dogs
 +
** 25 big dogs
 +
** 75 small dogs
 +
** 10 medium dogs
 +
** 10 medium antidogs
 +
*100 cats
 +
** 99 big cats
 +
** 1 kitten
 +
*4 mice
 +
** 3 blind mice
 +
** 1 stirring mouse
 +
*1 king of tricks fox
 +
**....
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*2 tadpoles
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** 1 green tadpole
 +
** 1 [[Blue|bloue]].
 +
*3 bears
 +
*10,000 rats
 +
**7 associated rats
 +
***6 normal rats
 +
*** 1 large rat
 +
**9,993 unaffiliated rats
 +
*100 hog
 +
**99 united hogs
 +
**1 hermit hog
 +
*2 pig
 +
**1 little piggy to market
 +
**1 piggy crying all the way home
 +
*3 horse
 +
**2 race horse
 +
**1 chill horse
 +
*9 birds
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**1 rock pigeon
 +
**1 flamingo
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**1 <s>pheasant</s> <s>guinea fowl</s> siamese fireback
 +
**1 peacock
 +
**1 chicken
 +
**1 <s>marabou</s> roseate spoonbill
 +
**1 penguin
 +
**1 rooster/chicken
 +
**1 <s>not a real bird</s> greater sage-grouse
 +
*1 [[Mark Genuine|this thing...]]
 +
 +
 +
== See also ==
 +
 +
* [[Animal Tier List]]
 +
* [[Animal of the day]]
 +
* [[Animal Crossing: New Leaf]]
 +
 +
== Reference Kingdom ==
 +
<h1 style="display:none;">The Animal Kingdom</h1>
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