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[[File:Nerpamedley.png|thumb|A diverse selection of pinnipeds from each major class.]]
+{{Quote|having now worked directly with wild seals I need you all to know they are some of the most bastardous creatures in the entire animal kingdom. we’ve all been so wrong. they look cute and fat but they are so fast and they have SO many teeth and they know how to scream and they aren’t afraid to do it<br>don’t get me wrong I love them deeply. They’re amazing animals. But we’ve been calling them stuff like “sea puppers” when in fact they’re more like if a cat weighed 300 kilos and had the intelligence of a toddler & the morals of a seagull}}
+[[File:Nerpamedley.png|thumb|A diverse selection of pinnipeds from each major [[Seal School|class]].]]
'''Pinnipeds''' (pronounced /ˈpɪnɪsˌpɛdz/), commonly known as '''laes''', are a widely distributed and diverse clade of carnivorous, fin-footed, semiaquatic, odorous, mostly marine [[mammals]] in the clade '''Pinnipedia'''. They include the mighty [[walrus]], the ferocious eared seals (such as sea lions), and the loathsome earless [[Damn seal|damn seals]]. While most species of pinniped are marine, there exists a single [[Nerpa|completely freshwater species]] that is thought by some to be the ''worst animal in existence''.{{Citation needed}}
'''Pinnipeds''' (pronounced /ˈpɪnɪsˌpɛdz/), commonly known as '''laes''', are a widely distributed and diverse clade of carnivorous, fin-footed, semiaquatic, odorous, mostly marine [[mammals]] in the clade '''Pinnipedia'''. They include the mighty [[walrus]], the ferocious eared seals (such as sea lions), and the loathsome earless [[Damn seal|damn seals]]. While most species of pinniped are marine, there exists a single [[Nerpa|completely freshwater species]] that is thought by some to be the ''worst animal in existence''.{{Citation needed}}
+[[File:Die stupid bitch.gif|thumb|oh...]]
+Pinnipeds are often criticized by the public for their looks, odours, etc., and are considered some of the worst animals in existence. For these reasons, people are looking forward to a [[total seal extinction]] event, although from the ecological perspective of an earthling, it might not be the best idea.{{Citation needed}}
−Pinnipeds are often criticized by the public for their looks, odours, etc., and are considered some of the worst animals in existence. For these reasons, people are looking forward to a [[total seal extinction]] event, although from the ecological perspective of an earthling, it might not be the best idea.{{Citation needed}}
+Pinnipeds make various [[Pinniped/Sounds|sounds]]. Among the most nerpish are the barks of the [[California sea lion]], the calls of the walrus that, according to [[Wikipedia]], sound like a [[gong]], and the out-of-this-world vocalizations of the [[Weddell seal]].
+Other names for pinnipeds in other languages include:
+*''zeehond'' (Dutch)
+*''phoque'' (French)
+*''Robben'' (German)
+*''foca'' (Spanish)
+*アザラシ (''azarashi'', Japanese)
+*海豹 (''haibao'', Mandarin)
The 34 extant species of pinnipeds are:
The 34 extant species of pinnipeds are:
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*[[Hooded seal]]
*[[Hooded seal]]
*[[Bearded seal]]
*[[Bearded seal]]
−*[[Grey seal]]
+*[[Gray seal]]
*[[Ribbon seal]]
*[[Ribbon seal]]
*[[Leopard seal]]
*[[Leopard seal]]
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*[[Ringed seal]]
*[[Ringed seal]]
*[[Nerpa]]
*[[Nerpa]]
+**[[Nerpy Scuba]]
There are two extinct species of pinnipeds that no one has to worry about any longer. They are the [[Japanese sea lion]] and the [[Caribbean monk seal]].
There are two extinct species of pinnipeds that no one has to worry about any longer. They are the [[Japanese sea lion]] and the [[Caribbean monk seal]].
−== See Also ==
+Such meaningless things... I'll destroy them all!
+== Demonic seals ==
+* [[Belial]]
+* [[Behemoth]]
+* [[Beelzebub]]
+* [[Asmodeus]]
+* [[Satan]]as
+* [[Lucifer]]
+== This thing ==
+[[File:Nojustno.png|left|thumb]]
+...
+{{Clear}}
+{{Yuri section}}
+{{Clear}}
+== See also ==
* [[List of minor seals]]
* [[List of minor seals]]
+* [[List of many seals]]
* [[Damn seal]]
* [[Damn seal]]
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[[Category:Cringy]]
[[Category:Cringy]]
[[Category:Lower Powers]]
[[Category:Lower Powers]]
+[[Category:Fish]]
+[[Category:Articles created in August 2022]]
+[[Category:Featured articles on Wikipedia]]