Chicken tuah
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Chicken tuah (English: chicken tosser) is a Latvio-Croatian dish made of tossed chicken served with bread over roasted chestnuts covered in googoo sauce. It tastes like shit.
Instances of fatal errors in preparation
Chicken tuah, when not prepared properly, can prove deadly. Instances of death or distraught due to chicken tuah fails are compiled in the Database. The full list is over 400 entries long. The following are notable excerpts:
| Date | Victim | Goof | Results |
|---|---|---|---|
| Aug 23, 1450 | The Baker | Chicken tuah served on porcelain instead of china | Instantaneous loss of all limbs |
| Aug 24, 1450 | The Baker's wife | Leftovers | Paralysis, nausea, suffocation due to laryngeal inflammation after 2 weeks bedridden |
| Jan 12, 1820 | Dunding Peal | Chicken tuah left unsalted overnight | Epidermal rashes upon contact, sudden onset blindness, necrosis of the brain stem |
| Jul 2, 1892 | Bex Baloan | Nothing (chicken tuah carries innate risk) | House explosion |
| Nov 15, 1930 | Hinz Skalen | Cutting against the grain | No symptoms for 7 years, sudden collapse of all major organs |
| Apr 19, 1965 | Peck McLearn | Eaten raw | Painless passing overnight |
| Dec 8, 1992 | Roula Arkenster | Thoughts of self-doubt during cooking | Autopsy tested positive for smallpox |
| Jun 30, 2004 | Judge Fondue | Toxic mirrored copy of chicken tuah was accidentally served | Amnesia, followed by panicked frenzy off of a cliff |
| Feb 11, 2012 | Denton Rider | Chewed with an open mouth | Complete cessation of all cellular respiration, coupled with violent hallucinations |
| May 6, 2025 | Filly Woldona | Eaten at an elevation over 1,000 ft above sea level | Rapid oscillation between extreme hyper- and hypotension; witnesses described victim as shifting from "raisinous" to "balloonatory" |
The patient needs more. Administer 500 ccs of chicken tuah directly into his bloodstream.
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