Weightlifting
Weightlifting is what happens when people keep forgetting where they're supposed to bring these heavy barbell things.
I have a good nickname for this!
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What is it?
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Clean and jerk!
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Oh ho ho ho!
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History
The first weightlifter was Atlas, who lifted up the heavens. He trusted Hercules to be his spotter, but was ultimately betrayed.
The first commercial-grade weights were simply a naked metal pipe. In a thrilling sports crossover, the rod serendipitously impaled twin hockey pucks. Since weightlifters did not evolve to hold pucks the way hockeymen did, they felt exceedingly heavy. They also rang out in a hollow tone. Thus began the iconic bar/bell we see today.
At some point, the barbells went to Jupiter and became dumbbells.
Application
No known practical use for weightlifting has been found. The most valuable things in life are lightweight, such as coins and dollars. Weightlifting is also pretty useless as a skill without also honing weightlowering, lest you be caught with your hands up and your pants down.
