Chainsaw Man (Anime)

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This page contains unmarked spoilers for Chainsaw Man (both the anime and manga).

Spoilers are unmarked because it is retelling the story but in Dialogue Box form!. Please proceed with caution if you have not read the source material.

This page contains blacklisted topics.

This includes: listen its fucking chainsaw man and as much as i can try to "de-adultify" it its kinda like finding the end of pi. you can only go so far. so just kinda watch out for slightly adult/edgier topics. although i will FOR THE LOVE OF GOD try to make sure it doesn't break any of the established WIKI CAMP RULES. (looking at YOU, rule 4!). Proceed with caution.

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CHAPTER 1: The Past.....The Pasty Past..........The Pre-past....The Perfect Past......one could say its... the prettiest past....

BabyDenji
Goo goo ga ga im a baby...
BabyDenji
Being a baby is COOL because NO ONE can BE MEAN TO ME
Banban
Hey! It's me! Banban!
BabyDenji
OH MY GOSH! It's BANBAN!!! My favorite fricking indie horror game serie-
Banban
Shut the fuck up, child. You have 13 days to pay us all the money your dad owes us or you'll be thrown into the Okin Devil's chamber.
BabyDenji
BabyDenji
but im like 10 years old

CHAPTER 2: seasons meetings

BabyDenji
sigh....ive only made 1 cent...i cant get all those Moneys in 13 days.....
BabyDenji
What The Fuck is That.
Pochita
BARK
BabyDenji
Goodness gracious its the dog devil!!!
BabyDenji
wait a fuckin minute there's no such thing as a DOG devil
BabyDenji
well you have a chainsaw on your nose...so...are you...the CHAINSAW DEVIL?
Pochita
BARK
BabyDenji
WAIT A MINUTE chainsaw devil YOURE DYING
Pochita
BARK
BabyDenji
quick!! YOURE A DEVIL!!! Eat my BLOOD!!! it'll revive you!
Pochita
eugh, fuck that. sounds gross as shit
Pochita
(does it anyways)
BabyDenji
HAHA! I tricked you. i have A+ blood. which means that YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW MY COMMANDS!!!!
BabyDenji
I COMMAND YOU...to be my friend please i am so desperately lonely
Pochita
ok fine, only because IM desperately lonely too
BabyDenji
ok...wanna go get ice cream
Pochita
fucking Yes

Chapter 3: ice is nice

BabyDenji
hey Poochita....
Pochita
ITS POCHITA YOU FUCKING dick
BabyDenji
hey Pochita....
BabyDenji
I have a lowkey awesome idea...
BabyDenji
what if i used you to murder EVIL devils and collect bounties for moneys?
Pochita
Denji
BabyDenji
im' glad you agree. nothing wrong can come from this

Chapter 4: Modern Day (

Denji
OH GOD OH FUCK IM DYING
Denji
WHY DID I HAVE TO PICK THE ZOMBIE DEVIL OUT OF ALL BOUNTIES TODAY
Zombie
BLARGH...im like a zombie isn't that weird??? lol...
Denji
Fuck you ZOMBITCH
Zombie
That's Very mean. DIE
Denji
X_X
Pochita
No. my only son. dead.
Pochita
wait a minute......i have a pochie idea
Two seconds later
Denji
What the Hell? I'm Alive Again?
PochitaGhost
denji...i have Sacrificed myself to become your spirit...you see that chainsaw cord on your chest...yank it...
Denji
im not gonna be doing that
PochitaGhost
do it or im gonna possess you and throw you off a cliff
Denji
FINE!!!
Denji
(Denji does it)
DenjiChainsaw
AHHHCHHGHHHHH!!!!!!
DenjiChainsaw
...
DenjiChainsaw
So let me get this straight...
DenjiChainsaw
I'm something that I would NOT call a "human"...
DenjiChainsaw
I'm fighting FREAKING zombies...
DenjiChainsaw
And...oH YEAH. I FUSED WITH A DEVIL!!!!
DenjiChainsaw
yeah okay that is something i do now.
Zombie
SHUT THE FUCK UP GOD EVEN AS A ZOMBIE I KNOW WHEN A BITS DEAD GOD
DenjiChainsaw
DIE
Zombie
(the zombie devil...is dead....)
DenjiChainsaw
woohoo yeah!!! i killed the zombie devil!!! today is the best day of my life!!
PochitaGhost
(bitch i literally died)
DenjiChainsaw
time to- Wait Why Do I Sense a Feeling of Dread

Chapter 5: THE WOMAN

Suddenly...a bunch of people in cringy suits enter the building.
Bart
Hey wait, where's the Zombie devil??? It WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE???
Makima
It looks like someone else got to him...
Bart
OH GOD. ITS A GUY WITH A CHAINSAW FOR A FACE. GOD. THATS HORRIFYING
Makima
...You've been working here for 4 years and THAT'S the thing that freaks you out the most?
Bart
i have a fear of object heads
Slug
Makima
dont worry. i know how to solve this
Makima
bart go fucking hug it
Bart
WHAT??? ARE YOU INSANE??? YOU WANT ME TO HUG IT???
Makima
yeah maybe he'll calm down and turn back to normal
Bart
no way am i fucking doing that
DenjiChainsaw
what the fuck are you guys arguing about
DenjiChainsaw
WAIT A MINUTE........A WOMAN????
Denji
HOLY SHITTTTTTTT
Makima
oh wow i guess you didnt need to hug him
Bart
well now he just looks ugly
Denji
Hi. I'm Denji. I am cool and aweso-
Makima
Denji. You're a human who's fused with a devil, right?
Denji
wow...you're so smart..,..
Makima
Well it might be unfortunate for you to know that we are devil hunters. we're gonna have to kill you
Denji
ok.......
Denji
WAIT WJAT
Makima
Unless...You work with us. In which case, you will be kept alive.
Denji
wow how am i still attracted to you
Bart
can we just kill him right here please
Makima
No. The power he possesses is great. He will be a big help to me.
Bart
you mean the devil hunter agency as a whole right
Makima
Makima
sure

Chapter 6: when i need a JOB done i get someone with a JOB to do that JOB

Makima
Welcome to your new job, Denji!
Denji
i didnt tell you my name
Makima
you've told me your name like 14 times during the car ride here
Denji
oh
Makima
now. it's time for your first mission...You'll be paired up with someone.
Denji
oh my god i hope its a woman
Makima
Denji...meet...Aki.
Aki
Hello.

Chapter 7: The Shortest chapter ever

Denji
DAMNIT

Chapter 8: Denji and Aki sitting in a tree k i s s s i m g o p q e u r d a j d hf f fdijdoifj soeejdjawidjiojqIO JDOAJSPJD O

Denji
hey aki
Denji
my dude
Denji
my bro
Denji
my joseph
Denji
my brah
Denji
hahah lol bra
Denji
anyways why did you take us to an alleyway
Aki
Listen you blonde haired mother fucker, I don't know what the fuck you think you're doing coming in here and getting all weird with Makima like that, but I'm getting serious fucking bad vibes from you. Like you mean trouble. If you fuck this up for me, then I will personally seek to making your life a living hell.
Denji
wowie, looks like SOMEONE got up on the WRONG SIDE OF THE BED!!!
Aki
oh my fucking god,
and then they kill the devil
Aki
oh hey you were genuinely competent. good job.
Aki
hey fun fact did you know makima forced me to have you live at my house. i was going to kill you when we got there but honestly since you killed that devil pretty nicely i think i wont do that
Denji
women,

Chapter 9: Meet the Devil Hunters....starring...

Makima
nicely done on your first mission, Denji. I think it's time to meet the rest of the people you'll be working with.
Makima
this is Captain Kishibe.
Kishibe
Hello, I-
Makima
Shut up. This is Kobeni
Kobeni
AUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHAUSDHGHGRFEUGHDFUBGHK RFEG8RGH 23HR2 OHU23H2KJHK HAJHEG89R5GH3489TYH34895T2894Y284YH3ONF DLJKHDKLJVH JFH DKJGHDKFGH KDFGDJFGNDF
Makima
thats her way of saying hi
Kobeni
I BURNED MY HAND MAKING COFFEE
Makima
thats ok
Makima
anyways this is himeno
Himeno
Hey!!! What's up guys! It's me!! Himeno!!! Badda Bing Badda Boom yknow???
Makima
And finally, this is the next person you'll be on a mission with. Her name is Power
Power
GRAAH!! WHY DID YOU PAIR ME UP WITH SUCH A USELESS HUMAN!
Denji
but i-
Makima
off you go, you two.

Chapter 10: Super Mario Kill Toe Jammer from My Singing Monsters

Mario
Luigi, look!
Mario
It's from Toe Jammer!
Mario
Dear Pesky Plumbers, The Makima and I have successfully taken over all 6 of your Luigi Mansions. I dare you to kill us if you can!
Mario
We gotta save the Luigi Mansion!
Luigi
And YOU gotta help us!
Denji
TF am i supposed to do
Luigi
Idk...
Power
Let's kill these plumber fucks
Denji
OK!
Luigi
Mama Mia!

Chapter 10: Mario and Luigi are Dead

Denji
I can't believe Mario & Luigi are dead
Power
I am power from chainsaw man

Family Guy

Denji
I DONT LIKE FAMILY
Denji
I DONT LIKE FAMILYGUY
Denji
I DONT LIKE FAMILYGUY
Denji
I DONT LIKE FAMILYGUY
Denji
I DONT LIKE FAMILYGUY
Denji
I DONT LIKE FAMILY
Denji
I DONT LIKE FAMILYGUY
Denji
I DONT LIKE FAMILYGUY
Denji
I DONT LIKE FAMILYGUY
Denji
I DONT LIKE FAMILYGUY
Denji
I DONT LIKE FAMILYGUY
Denji
I DONT LIKE FAMILYGUY
Denji
I DONT LIKE FAMILYGUY
Denji
I DONT LIKE FAMILYGUY
Denji
I DONT LIKE FAMILYGUY
Denji
I DONT LIKE FAMILYGUY
Denji
I DONT LIKE FAMILYGUY
Denji
I DONT LIKE FAMILYGUY
Denji
I DONT LIKE FAMILYGUY
Denji
I DONT LIKE FAMILYGUY
Luigi
Why
Denji
Measnpritied, have Unfunyn humor, and is not for kids!