Revelation

For JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, see [[Book of RevelaBovs.bwbl. oool / k.. k.⏚⏚⍜ k.k . NBO⍜OCk. CKO⏚⌰t ⍜⍜ewee⍜⌰ tt ☍.. ☍wwew.☍ ☍.☍rwe. ⋏r⍜⍜⍜☊☍. ☊☍⍜ ⏚⍜☍ ☊⍜4qtt⍜☍ ☊⍜☊⋔☊>⍙ ⎐☊☍⋏⍜tqwtq⌿☊ ;12,5@ t1x t, t]].

WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK.

oh hi evil noah

any reason as to why we were stuck in this empty void right now

youre the only other person here so i figured youd be behind this as part of your evil machinations

wait also arent you me why are we two separate beings now

JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR A SECOND, OKAY???? OH GOD

I KNEW IT. I JUST KNEW IT. I KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME AND I JUST FUCKED AROUND WAITING FOR IT TO HAPPEN.

I KNOW IM SUPPOSED TO HATE YOUR GUTS MAN BUT OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY

I...I might have screwed us both.

wdym??? where ARE we dude

...*Sigh*

Alright...this is gonna sound impossible to you right now..

But we technically aren't anywhere., If my theories are to be correct.

what???????????

listen, I know its hard to believe, but w-..I angered a being of immense power.

Or..to word it better...a fundamental force of our world..

The very embodiment of chaos in the multiverse.

I created too many Evil Noahs.

I disrearfed the rules of how many of us were supposed to exist in the multiverse.

My actions resulted in a cosmic imbalance. There were more versions of us than there were universes all-together. More versions of us were living than there were versions of us who were dead.

Because of my ignorance, I was causing an extreme cosmic imbalance within this world. It was threatening to rip the fabric of reality apart.

And I know its hard to believe, with my superb intelligence and wisdo-

i dont think thats true actually

AHEM.

..As I was saying, even with my intellect...I didn't even know how much I put this world, and by extension, my plans for world dominance at risk.

The only reason I even managed to get a clue as to what I was doing was because SOMEBODY had to smack some sense into me.

Or..TRIED to at least.

who told you then

..The very same being of chaos I mentioned earlier.

wait

the same guy who brought us here?

...Yes.

At first..it only tried to communicate through visions.

Almost seemingly at random, transcripts and images flashed in my eyes for only a few moments..

warning and depicting a horrific future..with all corners of reality up in despair.

He told me that I needed to fix all of it. That I needed to cleanse the universe of its negative Noahcules, along with all our excessive doppelgangers.

..And when all was said and done, I needed to relinquish my body back to YOU, and cease my existence in this world altogether.

..And if I didn't oblige..then..

then what

Lets just say that the consequences weren't gonna be a very favorable trade-off for keeping my empire

For any other person, they'd just call it quits and hang up the towel after getting news like that They'd be totally scared SHITLESS.

But we both no that I'm no ordinary person.

..So of course, in my hubris, I didn't listen.

How could I, right?

..I wasn't-, No..I COULDN'T just erase all I worked for just like that..

..Just..getting RID of EVERYTHING I worked so hard to create..

There was just no way I could go through with it.

..I guess you could say paid the price for that.

The...thing that visited me earlier told me that my time was up in my final vision.

He told me that I "wasted" my opportunity to cleanse myself of my sins..

It told me that my ignorance would come at the cost of not just every other Evil Noah, but the good ones as well..

And his "Noah Purge"..would start with erasing my empire.

Along with every other Noah in existence.

..Lets just say I was pretty pissed that this random ugly disembodied head was messing with my head and then threatening me OR my comrades with murder.

I wasn't just gonna take that lying down.

Soo, I decided to try and make them feel EXACTLY the type of pain he thought I was gonna get put through.

...

..Boy, what a MISTAKE that was.

so im guessing he kicked your butt then

"kicked my butt" is a massive understatement, but yeah.

The worst part was that it wasn't even HIM who attacked me. He sent his goons to do his dirty work, instead.

It made my loss all the more humiliating, in retrospect.

He slaughtered my army..my most trusted commanders..nobody was spared..

And now..I can only assume the survivors are left scattered and destitute.

okay so lemme get this straight

you took over my body

tormented countless worlds, made an army of evil me's to mess stuff up

and on TOP of that your shenanigans caused a giant rip in space time which awakened god knows what

who not only killed any surviving good mes, but also killed all of our evil clones and versions as well resulting in the death of what may be trillions of us

you suck man

I mean, if you were in MY situation, its not like you could've done any better.

i didnt get into your situation in the first place because you took over MY body idiot

OH YES. And going on a moral crusade slaughtering innocents for the SLIGHTEST of offenses would be any better?

Because let's face it. That's basically all you did when you still HAD this body.

dude literally trillions of lives may have been erased of the fricking face of existence because of you

I-..well..Look, this isn't exactly important at the moment, alright?

Especially considering the fact that we're both DEAD.

All that matters is the both of us getting out of this limbo land void place so we can focus on undoing my mess before-

..HE..shows..up.

Well, shit.

what the actual FRICK is that thing

AH, THERE YOU TWO ARE.

APOLOGIES FOR MY SUDDEN INTRUSION, IT IS A RATHER RARE OCCASION FOR ME AT THE MOMENT. MY NATURE PREVENTS ME FROM GETTING TO INTERACT DIRECTLY WITH LOWER POWERS. AND WHAT EXTRAORDINARY LOWER POWERS YOU TWO HAPPEN TO BE, ANYWAY. YOU KNOW, I ACTUALLY DOUBTED MY SUPER HERO SQUAD WHEN THEY SAID YOU WERE ONE OF THE MOST PECULIAR BEINGS THEY HAD EVER ENCOUNTERED. IN ALL MY LIFE CYCLES, I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH BEINGS WHO POSSESS YOUR SKILLS AND TECHNIQUES.

HOW THRILLING! THERE'S SO MANY THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW ABOUT YOU TWO, AND WHAT HAS BECOME OF THIS WORLD. THIS WOULD BE SUCH AN EXCITING OPPORTUNITY FOR ME IF I DID NOT REMEMBER THAT BOTH OF YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALMOST DESTROYING THE FARBIC OF REALITY. SO LET US END THIS SQUABBLE, AND INSTEAD MOVE ON TO DISCUSSING THE MORE IMPORTANT MATTERS AT HAND. YOU MAY NOT KNOW WHO I AM, NOR WHAT I MEAN FOR THIS WORLD.

"PRISONER OF DEATH"

"THE VOID KNIGHT"

"ABYSSAL QUEEN"

"ALYTION THE ANGEL OF BALANCE"

SO MANY DIFFERENT IDENTITIES I'VE HAD TO FOLLOW. SO MANY I CURRENTLY POSSESS RIGHT NOW. ALL EQUALLY ME, ALL EQUALLY NOT ME. A PLETHORA OF NAMES LOST TO TIME, FORGOTTEN AS A RESULT OF THE DESTRUCTION OF HUNDREDS OF WORLDS.

AND THE ONLY NAME I WILL BE KNOWN FOR IN THIS WORLD. BY YOUR PEOPLE.

IS IAN.

I AM, TO RATHER PUT IT SIMPLY, AN ABSTRACT BEING. THE LIVING EMBODIMENT AND ETERNAL ASPECT OF CHAOS. WHERE DISCORD EXISTS IN THE MULTIVERSE, I AWAKEN TO SILENCE IT, AND PUNISH ITS INSTIGATORS. WHETHER IT BE A SCIENTIST USING A MACHINE TO FRACK THE VERY ESSENCE OF REALITY, A GOD SEEKING TO OVERTHROW HIS PANTHEON OF ORIGIN, OR A PARTICULARLY EVIL ALTER-EGO UNITING HIS UNIVERSAL COUNTERPARTS TO TAKE OVER EXISTENCE, I AM THERE TO TO PUT A STOP TO IT. NO MATTER THE STRENGTH, THE TENACITY, THE INTELLIGENCE, OR SUPERNATURAL CAPABILITIES, MY JUSTICE TRIUMPHS OVER ALL. WHEN THE PARADOX THAT IS THE END OF REALITY EVENTUALLY COMES, I AM THERE TO PERPETUATE IT, SO THAT THE MULTIVERSE MAY COME TO A CLOSE. IT IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN ETERNALLY DESTINED TO DO, AND WHAT SHALL BE DONE UNTIL THE END OF EVERY VERSION OF TIME ITSELF.

BEFORE CREATION WAS, I WAS. WHEN IT WILL EVENTUALLY END AND REBIRTH INTO A NEW MULTIVERSE AS IT ALWAYS WILL, I'LL REMAIN. I HAVE SEEN COUNTLESS ITERATIONS OF THIS WORLD RISE AND FALL BEFORE EVEN THE VERY FIRST HIGHER POWER CAME INTO EXISTENCE HERE. ALTHOUGH MY DEATH IS POSSIBLE, KILLING ME WOULD ULTIMATELY BE YOUR UNDOING. DO YOU NOT KNOW OF HOW MANY REALITY-DESTROYING CATACLYSMS HAVE BEEN STOPPED BECAUSE OF ME? THE COUNTLESS ANOMALOUS BEINGS AND CHAOTIC CREATURES THAT HAVE BEEN ERASED FROM ALL OF EXISTENCE FOR THEIR DESTRUCTIVE CRIMES THAT HAVE RESULTED IN THE DEATH OF COUNTLESS INDIVIDUALS? THE SOURCE IN WHICH ALL CHAOTIC BEINGS DRAW THEIR INFINITE ENERGY FROM? THE VERY LAST IMAGE, THE STILL VISUAL THAT FLASHES BEFORE YOUR EYES WHEN YOU MEET YOUR EVENTUAL END? THAT'S ME. IAN. DO NOT HOPE TO HOLD A GRUDGE AGAINST ME. YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT I DO, BUT IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME, EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING YOU KNOW WOULDN'T HAVE EXISTED AT ALL, PRESUMABLY.

Oh. Well at least THAT explains..some of it?

wait why did you decide to put us here in particular but not some other two noahs

Yeah, and you still haven't explained what it is exactly you DO, and how you pulled us here in the first place.

PATIENCE NOW, BOYS. I WAS JUST ABOUT TO EXPLAIN YOUR PREDICAMENT.

THE ENVIRONMENT THAT YOU CANNOT FATHOM TO FULLY COMPHREHEND AROUND YOU IS ONLY A SMALL PORTION OF WHAT IS KNOWN AS MY INFINITE DOMAIN. IT IS A PLACE OF INESCAPABLE VOID THAT I USE IN ORDER TO TRAP AND JUDGE ANY BEINGS THAT INCUR MY DESTRUCTIVE INCOMPREHENSIBLE WRATH. IT IS A LOCATION ONLY ACCESSIBLE TO ME, AND THERE IS ONLY ONE POSSIBLE ENTRANCE THAT GRANTS ENTRY TO THIS DIMENSION. EVEN THE MOST POWERFUL OF TELEPORTERS AND OMNIPRESENT ENTITIES CANNOT KNOW THIS PLACE EXISTS. TO THEIR PERSPECTIVE, IT MAY AS WELL NEVER HAVE EXISTED AT ALL.

AS FOR WHY YOU'RE HERE? I BELIEVE THAT YOU DO NOT HEED EXPLANATION, EVIL NOAH. YOUR ACTIONS IN LEADING YOUR LITTLE LEGION HERE HAVE RESULTED IN TREMENDOUS DAMAGE TO THE FABRIC OF REALITY. MY SQUADDIES AND OTHER DISCIPLES HAVE HAD TO WORK OVERTIME CLEARING UP THE MESS YOU'VE MADE OF THE MULTIVERSE. AT LEAST THE PRIME DIMENSION NOR THE REAL WORLD HAVE BEEN AFFECTED BY YOUR SHENANIGANS.

REGULAR NOAH, ON THE OTHER HAND? YOUR NEGLIGENCE RESULTED IN THE CREATION OF YOUR DOPPELGANGER IN THE FIRST PLACE. HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR YOU, THE DAMAGE TO REALITY WOULD NOT HAVE OCCURRED. ARGUE ALL YOU DESIRE, BUT YOU ARE AS MUCH TO BLAME HERE AS HIM.

...NOW NORMALLY, I WOULD SIMPLY BLINK YOU BOTH OUT OF EXISTENCE AND CONTINUE ON WITH MY DAY LOUNGING AROUND, ALONE WITH MY THOUGHTS ETERNALLY TRAPPED IN MY DOMAIN. HOWEVER, IT SEEMS I HAVE A FEW BENEFITS TO KEEPING AT LEAST ONE OF YOU AROUND.

IF I AM TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST..I FEEL..PITY FOR THE BOTH OF YOU. IT IS NOT OFTEN I SEE ANOMALOUS BEINGS THAT HAVE CAUSED AS MUCH TROUBLE AS YOU TWO BE SO YOUNG, AND THAT'S PUTTING ASIDE THE FACT THAT YOU BOTH GENERALLY HAVE BEEN CONSIDERABLY PATHETIC IN ATTEMPTING TO ACCOMPLISH YOUR LIFE GOALS. YOU'VE EITHER HAD TO REALIZE YOUR IDEALS ARE COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY IMPOSSIBLE TO ACCOMPLISH, OR YOU'RE PRACTICALLY INCOMPETENT AT ACHIEVING THEM.

AND MY SECOND REASONING CONCERNS MYSELF. I, AS YOU CAN PROBABLY IMAGINE, BEINGS LIKE ME, WHO SERVE TO BE OF EXTREME SIGNIFICANT TO THE CONTINUED FUNCTIONING OF THIS WORLD. UNLIKE OTHER, MORE PRIVILEGED AND LAZY BEINGS, I AM EXTREMELY LIMITED IN THE WAY I CAN INTERACT WITH THE MULTIVERSE AND IT'S INHABITANTS. MY WORK IS A VICIOUS AND PERPETUAL CYCLE, WHERE I MUST AWAKEN, ENFORCE, AND THEN BE FORCED TO REMAIN IN THIS PERSONAL VOID UNTIL ANOTHER CONFLICT ARISES ONCE MORE. MY ONLY POSSIBLE WAYS OF COMMUNICATION I HAVE ARE PROJECTING MY VOICE AND CURRENT THOUGHTS INTO THOSE THAT I DESIRE. IT WORKS..BUT IT DRAINS MY ENERGY SIGNIFICANTLY, RENDERING IT UNSUSTAINABLE. THERE IS A MYSTERIOUS FORCE OUT THERE THAT SEEMS TO BE..PREVENTING ME FROM EXITING MY DOMAIN WHENEVER I PLEASE. ONLY WHEN THERE IS A THREAT THAT NEEDS TO BE EXTINGUISHED, CAN I EXIT THIS HORRID PRISON. NOT ONLY IT IS SOUL-RENDING, EVEN FOR A BEING LIKE ME..I CAN'T POSSIBLY EXPECT THIS UNKNOWN FORCE, THIS UN-EXPLAINABLE INSTINCT TO HELP ME PURGE CHAOS WHENEVER I SEE IT. IT HAS BECOME SUCH AN ISSUE THAT SOMETIMES, WHEN I HAVE TO GO OUT OF MY WAY TO EXACT MY WRATH ON THREATS TO STABILITY THAT THE WORLD DOES NOT DEEM HARMFUL, I AM STILL FORBIDDEN FROM LEAVING THIS VOID. I HAVE TO RELY ON MY [[Ian Emissary|UNDERLINGS TO DO MY BIDDING].

I BELIEVE THERE IS A CATACLYSM THAT WILL OCCUR SOON. ONE THAT WILL REQUIRE ME TO ENLIST THE HELP OF SOME ONE THAT POSSESSES THE NECESSARY SKILLS NEEDED TO HELP THE WORLD PREPARE FOR THIS UNFORESEEN THREAT. FORTUNATELY, BOTH OF YOU POSSESS THOSE QUALITIES AND SKILLS NEEDED TO DEAL WITH THIS CRISIS. UNFORTUNATELY, TO PROTECT THE INTEGRITY OF MY POSITION, THIS ALSO MEANS ONLY ONE OF YOU CAN ASSIST ME. BOTH OF YOU WILL FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT TO EXIST IN THIS WORLD, ON THE CAVEAT THAT YOU'LL REMAIN AS A SUBSERVIENT HERALD TO MY CAUSE. THE LOSER OF THIS BATTLE WILL BE SENTENCED TO PRESIDE IN THE MOST UNSPEAKABLY HARSH ENVIRONMENT KNOWN IN THE MULTIVERSE. A LOCATION SO HORRID, THAT IT SURPASSES DAMN SEAL IN ITS HARSHNESS.

Wait, so all we gotta do is fight eachother and I can get my life back?

...

Huh. I'm down for that.

since i have multiple reasons to hate you now i guess i wont feel too bad about this

Let this be our final battle, inferior me.

One long fight sequence later:

CONGRATULATIONS ON DEFEATING YOUR SINISTER COUNTERPART, CHILD. ALTHOUGH HE WAS CUNNING AND SKILLFUL IN HIS OWN RIGHT, YOUR SHEER FORCE MANAGED TO OVERPOWER HIM. IT APPEARS BRAWN TRIUMPHS OVER BRAIN ONCE AGAIN.

AS FOR YOU, EVIL NOAH. YOUR CRIMES AGAINST THIS WORLD HAVE DESERVED YOU ETERNAL EXILE TO THE CRUELEST, MOST UNIMAGINABLY AGONIZING LOCATION IN THE MULTIVERSE IMAGINABLE. THE INESCAPABLE HELL KNOWN ONLY AS..

OKLAHOMA.