And noww...MY feature presentation, ladies and gents!!

Alll right..now how did it all start again...hmmm...

OH, thats right!

names mylenio. mylenio tomotrismo. i aint what you would call an average zug. unlike any other normie youd see, i got things that blow peoples minds. LITERALLY! im eccentric, dangerous. a wildcard. any girl of ANY RACE throughout the galaxy? you can bet theyre fawning over me right now.

but thats not all. even though i was totally qualified regardless, that isnt the only reason i became a leading general in the zugsectoid empire. i got two dangerous cleavers, and i know howda use em. and if you think thats enough to send you packin, think again. i can appear in and out of a flash.

yeah, you can say im FAR from average.

"but hold on a second, mr tomotrismo! why are you here and not the big boss akyveton?!" dont WORRRYYY, i was getting to that.

after the big man exploded during his little contest, every zug across the galaxy was alerted. like, IMMEDIATELY. i actually got the news while i was partying hard with a bunch of smokin hot babes. it sorta dampened my partying-mood for the rest of the night.

the GOOD news though is that his backup computer and second in command, Erizon.net, has decided to allow ME, along with three other of the most qualified zugsectoid generals to fill in for him in his weird contest thingy. at first, i was bummed out since it gave me no room to do what i wanted. im TOMOTRISMO MAN! its not my responsibility to spend who knows how long on this backwater dump of a planet!

but..i DID miss the guy. although i like to party hard, my duty towards my kind comes first.

i had to get accustomed to what the whole host of this little contest thingy wanted me to do exactly. all i gotta do is feed his little snake dude? sounds easy enough, i got this in the BAAGGGG!!!

if theres anything i know about plant life, its that no matter where you are, youll find that they ALLL like the same exact thing. thats right...its quality food from the GALACTIC BUSINESS OF THE PLANT SMART SUPERSTOREE!!!!!

you can find one just about anywhere, and thats pretty lucky for me, since at the moment you could say i was on a little bit of a time crunch.

the bad news though was that i was basically broke. i didnt have any galactic credits with me at the moment since i spent them all buying stuff for my side-chicks the other day. not smart on my end, ill admit it.

what WAS smart on my end, was making sure any guard that was gonna get between ME and some free plant food was gonna pay.

after i took care of security for the store, i decided to do what i did best and smooth talk the cashier lady. i didnt find her ATTRACTIVE or anything, infact i find most earthlings pretty FUUGLLYYY. but it was my only shot.

unfortunately i underestimated how hard it was to get free stuff out of these earth people. even after she was totally SWOONED by me, she still wouldnt budge and give me the damn PLANT FOOOD!!!!

..or, atleast i wouldve gotten it.

so...i mightve let my temper get the best of me and..i sliced her head clean off with one of my swords. admittedly, that was a bit excessive on my part..i probably couldve talked to her for a few more minutes and she wouldve gave in. since the earth cops were gonna show up soon..i had to improvise a bit and just take the head..

ZORGAN, was i lucky that hillbillys weird snake pet gave in and gobbled that girls head down, no problem.

but hey.

as long as it works.

hopefully Athena can handle the next challenge better than i can..