Fortran
Fortran (full name: Fortran Tony Malleo Weegee) was a businessman, philanthropist, educator, feminist and child rights advocate. He was well known for his charitable work, his success in the finance sector, and his tropical work-study program, which gave socioeconomically disadvantaged young girls the opportunity to meet the foremost leaders in business, politics, and science, so that they can learn from their example and become the next generation of girlbosses.
Because of Fortran's strength of character and moral integrity, he managed to live sixty-six long years without eating the flesh of a single child. Fortran was posthumously granted the title of Knight Commander of the British Empire (KBE) by Prince Andrew, Duke of York, for this commendable show of restraint.
On August 10, 2019, after a long and tumultuous battle with depression, Fortran fell in the Great Amber Vat and became golden and all-powerful. He then sold himself and was never seen again...
Oh, And One More Thing, Do Not Call Him “Grand Dad” or he will Haunt you in Your Dreams.