Plausible

Hello. My name is Gorilla Samson. The definition of 'plausible' is simple: all something must do to be plausible is to be reasonably true, even if it hasn't been proven. Found below will be a collection of plausible things, as well as a collection of implausible things. As all things in this world are parallel, so too is the list itself. For each plausible thing, there shall be a somewhat mirroring implausible concept.

Plausible Things

1. The Illuminati, and with it the existence of the Epic Dorito, the Baja Blast, and the Perfect MLG 360 No-Scope.
2. A secret collection of NerpaPunch Awards not yet earned by any page or person.
3. The state of Pennsylvania.
4. The monster under my bed; that being the United States National Debt.
5. The Damnation of Daniel.
6. For Skee-Lo to wish he were six-foot-nine; in order to get with Leoshi.
7. Imagining a potato; even up to six potatoes.
8. David Copperfield on a unicycle.
9. The Lord in Heaven, our God.
10. Your mom being so stupid, she brought a spoon to the SUPER BOWL!!!!!!

Implausible Things

1. Gorilla Samson's involvement with the Illuminati. Such a thing would be ridiculous. Even laughable. Ha ha ha. Ha.
2. A secret collection of Bones!
3. The state of Ohio.
4. The monster under my bed; that being the animate skeleton of Robert Reich, a personal Liberal hero of mine. This is, of course, implausible due to the fact that Robert is still alive.
5. Dante, the poet's, existence.
6. For everything to go Skee-Lo's way; if this were true, every day would in fact be a Friday, and you could even speed on the highway.
7. Imagining seven potatoes at once.
8. David Blaine on a tricycle.
9. Jesus beating the Devil in a one-on-one basketball match. I mean, even I, Gorilla Samson, devout Baptist, have to admit: Jesus can't be good at everything.
10. Your mom.