Our privacy policy has recently been updated, effective September 13th.
Check the Bulbagarden home page for up-to-date Pokémon news and discuss it on the forums or in the Bulbagarden Discord server.
Poliwhirl


Poliwhirl is a generally unloved Pokémon first discovered in the Kanto region. He stopped trying to do his best.
Early Life
He spawned in the underworld as a Poliwag. He describes his childhood in his book There are no fingers under those gloves, only regrets as "unworthy of being talked about, as it mainly consists of me fighting my peers until the gods punished me by downgrading me", referring to his evolution as a Poliwhirl. He then got unleashed into the world in an unremarkable way.
First Crimes
Many neighbours complained about his behaviour, most notably when they heard him speak french. He first got arrested when he fought someone with a baguette, but was soon released due to not a single person understanding his language. Using french as an immunity, he committed many crimes until he did one in Quebec, not knowing they spoke the language. The Quebecer people did not care.
The TV era
In 2020, Poliwhirl realized his popularity was fading away, and it was already small to begin with. He came up with a plan to gain it back and, using his relations with french house artists Daft Punk, made his way to TV with various shows. Here they are in chronological order:
- The Somewhat Late Show with Poliwhirl
- The Even Later Show with Poliwhirl
- Why Do They Keep Putting This Show Later In The Night with Poliwhirl
- Are People Even Watching This with Poliwhirl
- Statistics Say No with Poliwhirl
- Pyramid
All of these shows released and got cancelled within the same year. During this era, he released two books, who sold 3 copies each.
His own mother claimed she wanted nothing to with it. The Daft Punk disbanded the following year because of this.
Conclusion
Nothing of this would've happened if people realized Poliwhirl was the greatest creature to have ever graced this plane of existence.