Race to the sea
The Race to the Sea (1914-1915) was a military conflict in the opening days of the First World War in which the forces of the German Empire attempted to overrun Belgium and France before Britain could reach the ports there, which would have prevented the British army landing on mainland Europe effectively. Many historians cite this as the greatest race in history, but many still argue that the title actually belongs to Tom and Jerry: The Fast and the Furry (2005).
Opening moves
Knowing that the British would have to take the channel tunnel if they couldn’t take a boat, the German command realised that if British forces got stuck in traffic it would significantly slow their progress to mainland Europe. Having already learned this lesson the hard way during the 100 Years War, the British needed to go fast so they called on the help of Mushroom Kingdom nationalist Super Mario, who joined on the condition that if the allies won the war they would force Italy to restore the Mushroom Kingdom as a part of Italy after it had been annexed as part of the Italian unification. Mario would quickly become a force to be reckoned with, as he used his signature kart and the skills he had honed on the Mushroom Kingdom racetracks of his childhood to teach British troops to drive as fast as possible. Meanwhile, in an effort to slow German advances in Belgium, the French government recruited Mario’s brother, Luigi, to bombard the German troops with shells. As a result, many of the shell types used are now banned under the Geneva Suggestions, including Blue Spiny Shells, Green Shells, and Poison Gas Shells.
German stuff
Not to be outdone by the British ‘people’, the Germans needed a leader. After hearing a speech where Kiser Wilhelm said ‘the German people are kind of like family’ Dom von Terreto would sign up to the German military, where he would quickly prove himself to be fast and furious, and was placed in charge of the German advance in Belgium. Dom would use his car as well as the ‘power of family’ to push German troops faster and harder than ever before. He was also aided by a playlist put together by the Austro-Funkgarian empire that hyped the troops for battle and allowed them to march for days without need for a dance break.
To counter Luigi’s constant shell bombardments, the Germans would also employ weapons never seen on the battlefield before these include rick rolling, Five Nights at Freddy's jumpscares, and doom-scrolling.
Belgium counter method
Needing to slow the advance of German troops, the King of Belgium ordered that the last sliver of the country be held at all costs. In an effort to do this general Craze.z.Dave, who famously said “let us die with our countrymen and die fighting to keep them safe and die with honour." Or at least that was what he tried to say, because everyone else only heard something along the lines of “HWWNIHBQIHBWIH QIHNQIJNSJI WHINIU”. After this inspirational speech, Belgium would flood the yeers, meaning German commander ZomVonBoss was forced to use water-based zombies, which were far weaker than his land-based troops. This flooding also left plenty of space for Crazy Dave to plant his superior pool plants. This ultimately lead to the Germans losing the battle, as they were unable to break through the tall-nut defence forcing them into longer trench warfare.