Goplu's Inferno (THREAD ⬇️)
Goplu @gopyXP “Through me the way is to the city dolent;
Through me the way is to eternal dole;[1]
Through me the way among the nerpies lost.
Justice incited my sublime Creator;[2]
Created me divine Omnerpatence,
The highest Wiki and the primal Red Link. 1/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP Before me there were no created Articles,
Only eterne, and I eternal last.
All hope abandon, ye who enter in!”
These words of a sombre webpage I beheld
Written upon the challenge of a Wiki Camp 2;
Whence I: “Erm...in English, please!” 2/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP And oomf[3] to me, as one experienced:
“Here all sus[4] needs must be abandoned,
All here face impending total seal extinction.
We to the place have come, where I have told thee
Thou shalt behold the nerpas dolorous
Who have foregone, or, perhaps 3/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP never held the good of intellect.”[5]
And after he had laid his hand on mine
With joyful mien, whence I was comforted,
He led me in among the secret things.
[6]There sighs, complaints, and lincolns loud
Resounded through the air without a star,
Whence I, at the beginning, 4/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP wept thereat.
Languages diverse, horrible dialects,
Accents of angegpiIOYIU U0WU U09)*& ()#*%()%iw_)aoKSVGPSOMGPSKEOP[lg[pl[gpsl[olj eto-0eu-ae wyqw,
ehklnaGHOahih yj4u0924uy09jkPOJSIJGu)WY*(U)U#)13u0u4111111111----_r0a0-aa0-aik epopoeqj ypj[7] 5/30
Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP And I, who had my head with horror bound,
Said: ”Master, what is this which now I hear?
What songs be these, which seem by pain so dogshit?”
And he to me: ”Those be our team jingles,
You asshole—we've five of them,
Each a testament of phocine vice.
Commingled 7/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP are they with that caitiff choir
Of ucky Seals and ucky Competitors,
Faithful not to God, but to self.
The heavens expelled them, not to be less fair;
Nor them the elimination line receives,
For glory[9] none the damned would have from them.”
And I: “O oomfie, what 8/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP so grievous is
To these, that maketh them lament so sore?”
He answered: ” I will tell thee very briefly.
These have no longer any hope of escape;
And this damned life of theirs is so debased,
They envious are of every other fate. 9/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP No fame of them the world permits to be;
Misericord and Justice both disdain them.
Let us not speak of them, but look, and pass.”
And I, who looked again, beheld a banner,
Which, whirling round, ran on so rapidly,
That of all pause it seemed to me indignant; And 10/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP after it there came so long a train
Of people, that I ne’er would have believed
That ever Death so many had undone.
When some among them I had recognised.
I looked, and I beheld the shade of him
Who made through cowardice the great refusal. 11/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP Forthwith I comprehended, and was certain,
That this the sect was of the caitiff wretches
Hateful to God and to his enemies.
These miscreants, who never were alive,
Were Okinesque, and were stung exceedingly
By Aguberries and by Okinberries that were there. 12/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP These did their faces irrigate with blood,
Which, with their tears commingled, at their feet
By the disgusting seals gathered up.
And when to gazing farther I 13/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP betook me. Shapes I saw on The Toy Where You Put The Shape In The Corresponding Hole;
Whence said I: ”Master, now vouchsafe to me,
That I may know what these are, and what law
In the hole puts them so correspondingly,
As I discern athwart the 14/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP dusky light.”
And oomf to me: “These shapes shall all be known
To thee, as soon as we our footsteps stay
Upon the dismal shore of Florida.”
Then with mine eyes ashamed and downward cast,
Fearing my words might irksome be to him,
From speech refrained I till we 15/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP reached the river. And lo! towards us coming in a boat
An old laes, hoary with the hair of eld, Crying:
“Woe unto you, ye souls depraved
Hope nevermore to look upon the heavens;
I come 16/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP to lead you to the other shore,
To the eternal shades in heat and frost.
And thou, that yonder standest, living soul,
Withdraw thee from these seals, who are dead." 17/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP But when he saw that I did not withdraw,
He said: ”By other ways, by other ports
Thou to the shore shalt come, not here, for, passage;
A lighter vessel needs must carry thee.”
And 18/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP unto him the Guide[10]: ”Vex thee not, Charon;
It is so willed there where is power to do
That which is willed; and farther question not.” 19/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP There at were quieted the fleecy cheeks
Of him the ferryman of the livid fen,
Who round about his eyes had wheels of flame.
But all those souls who weary were and naked 20/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP Their colour changed and gnashed their teeth together,
As soon as they had heard those cruel words.
God they blasphemed and their progenitors,
The pinniped race, the place, the time, the seed
Of their engendering and of their birth! 21/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP Thereafter all together they drew back,
Bitterly weeping, to the accursed shore,
Which waiteth every man who fears not God. 22/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP Charon the demon, with the eyes of glede,
Beckoning to them, collects them all together,
Beats with his oar whoever lags behind. As in 23/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP the autumn-time the leaves fall off,
First one and then another, till the branch
Unto the earth surrenders all its spoils;
In similar 24/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP wise the evil seed of Adam
Throw themselves from that margin one by one,
At signals, as a bird unto its lure.
So they depart across the dusky wave,
And ere 25/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP upon the other side they land,
Again on this side a new troop assembles.
“My son,” the courteous Master said to me,
“All those who perish in the wrath of God
Here meet together out of every land;
And 26/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP ready are they to pass o’er the river,
Because celestial Justice spurs them on,
So that their fear is turned into desire.
This way there never passes a good soul;
And hence 27/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP if Charon doth complain of thee
Well mayst thou know now what his speech imports.” 28/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP This being finished, all the dusk champaign
Trembled so violently, that of that terror
The recollection bathes me still with sweat.
The land of tears gave forth a blast of wind, 29/30Nov 8, 2022
Goplu @gopyXP And fulminated a vermilion light,
‘Which overmastered in me every sense,
And as a man whom sleep hath seized I fell. 30/30Nov 8, 2022
A Jar of Copper Salts @coppersalts can I get a tl;dr?
Nov 8, 2022
Benjamin Franklin @bifocalist Replying to @coppersalts
Haste makes Waste.
Nov 8, 2022
Gooplu @goopyXP And fulminated a vermilioon light,
‘Which oovermastered in me every sense,
And as a man whoom sleep hath seized I fell. 30/30Nov 8, 2022
References
- ↑ Dole is the brand that sponsored Super Monkey Ball. Hell makes people go "bananas", hence the allusion to Dole.
- ↑ Alluding to Tyler the Creator. See this article for more.
- ↑ One of my followers (on Twitter). The protagonist and oomf are heavily implied to be mutuals.
- ↑ Slang originating from YouTube Poop. Not to be confused with the Among Us usage of the word.
- ↑ Nerpas have forsaken God's gift of wisdom. Lmfao!
- ↑ Not yaoi. This yaoi scene has symbolic connotations.
- ↑ Author was Tower of Babel'd in the middle of writing this stanza.
- ↑ Author was Elizabeth Tower'd in the middle of writing this stanza.
- ↑ For Glory (ガチ, Serious) is an online mode that appears in [Super Smash Bros. 4]. In this mode, all matches are played on Ω form stages, with no items naturally spawning, and with character customization disabled. Among other rulesets, players can select to play two-stock one-on-one matches with a five minute time limit in For Glory.
- ↑ Allusion to Terraria; specifically, the Guide, who is known for being Terraria's first ever Gay character.