Twitter

It lived. It served. It died.

This article is dedicated to the late Wiki Camp 2 moments that go hard.
Fly high, sweet angel...

Twitter promotional materials leaked by a whistleblower.

The unfortunate current owner of Twitter, Sealon Musk.

Twitter was a social media website founded by Erk T. W. Itterfieldbaumhausershireberrycheez Jr., better known as Bruno. In Twitter, you play as Twitter, pressing the spacebar to jump over pipes. Twitter uses a system of "hashtags", or clumps, that sorts posts into like topics, akin to a shoddy off-brand version of this wiki's categories. Following a recent update, the site has become a place to share content or make text posts once daily, similar to a daily journal.

Readers added context
"Twitter" is no longer a "website" but "a" superapp. This enables it to track packages.
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Twitter was in the process of being bought by eccentric billionaire Michael Bloomberg, but he was outbid by Sealon Musk. He then renamed it to X, though in our hearts, it'll remain Twitter.

Readers added context
Michael Bloomberg never intended to buy Twitter, and was instead focused on building his own competitor, tentatively titled TheBloomBuzz.net.
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Example of a Twitter conversation:

Nerpa Twitter @EvilNerpa

i. am so. EVIL!!!!!

Oct 7, 2022 

NERPA!!! Twitter @MOREEvilNerpa

Replying to @EvilNerpa

yeah? well IM SUPER EVIL!!! UYOU CAN@T BEAT ME!

Oct 7, 2022 

Example of a viral Tweet:

Ponsuke ⛽ Twitter @ilovemelonsilly

poor people who eat candy are funny

Oct 11, 2022 

Note that you can only see 600 of these per day, 10x that if you're wasting money. Maybe they might introduce a new thing that allows you to see all the tweets...

Readers added context
Computer scientists have published studies confirming that adding such a novel never-before-realized feature is impossible without the use of quantum computers. So sads!
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Competitors and decline

Following Musk's acquisition, the ultimate fate of Twitter was uncertain. Some users pre-emptively left the website, flocking to other social media, such as Tumblr, Cohost, or NerpaPunch. Won't be long before Musk's control is severed.

Ceritfied Puncher Twitter @laughtingstockbroke

twitter down catch me on NerpaPunch

Nov 6, 2022 

Revival and Renaissance

Rejoice! Twitter has been bought from Elon Musk by Richard Guy. It will soon relaunch with a new, bubbly take on the classic website's design. Experts say this is fucking awesome.

Trivia

• The default pfp used to be an egg.
• He called it X because he wanted to be acquired by Alphabet.

Readers added context
Not true. He called it X because he thinks the letter is cool.
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Readers added context
Actually no it is true trust me guys
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Readers added context
Bro shut up other reader nobody likes you...
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Readers added context
that's the last straw idiot
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They lived. They served. They died.

This article is dedicated to the late Reader.
Fly high, sweet angel...

Did you know?

Sometimes, Twitter users who get really into something (such as a TV series or a game) may spoil things for everyone else, ruining the process of discovery.