Magic Kingdom
The Magic Kingdom is the most populous country in Disney World. It is comprised of six constituent countries: New America, Adventureland, Frontierland, Libertyland, Fantasyland, and Tomorrowland. Its capital is Cinderella City. The Magic Kingdom DOES contain Lalalala's Castle though.
In spite of a common misconception, George Lucas did not invent Magic, but instead invented The Force.
Magic Kingdom | |
|---|---|
| Capital | Cinderella City |
| Government | Unitary parliamentary constitutional monarchy (rotating) |
Etymology
The name of the Magic Kingdom comes contains three root words. Magic comes from magic, an English word meaning "magic." Kingdom comes from the words king, a word for a ruler, and fandom, a word for a dogshit wiki.
History
The earliest evidence of Magic Kingdom's existence is dated around 12,000 BCE, when the kingdom was just an arrangement of wicked cairns. They were cool, but could hardly be considered a "kingdom". These rocks were thought to be washed away in the Great Flood.
The ruins of the Magic Kingdom were discovered by escapees of the Animal Kingdom, including a pair of immortal mouse liches named Minnie and Mickey Mouse.
Creation of Walt Disney
In 1901, The Mouses successfully created a homunculus, Walter Elias Disney, in a scary alchemist's lab in Fantasyland using their lich powers. Mickey and Minnie trained this homunculus to produce new living vessels in the event of their bodies being destroyed. In 1927, Walt successfully produced his first vessel, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, but it wasn't Mickey or Mouse-like enough.
In order to prevent these vessels from massacring all of Mickey's customers, they were quickly appointed to act as children's entertainment performers. A year after Oswald was contructed, Mickey's first vessel made his cinematic debut in Steamboat Willie.
In 1966, Walt died of a colorful peg hitting his head, leading to a decades-long feud between the Magic Kingdom and Peggleland. Legend has it that they froze his head, peg and all, and buried it somewhere underneath the Magic Kingdom. It can be found using a brown worn-out treasure map with no visible landmarks and a dashed curly line pointing to a large red X.
Homosexual fast dancing
In the 1980s, the Magic Kingdom banned homosexual fast dancing.
Demographics
The population of the Magic Kingdom is said to be approximately 40,000. Of this population, approximately 90% are tourists. The remaining 10% are split between Cast Members, Mascots, and Dudes Smoking Fat Cigars In Spinny Chairs.
Tourist Demographics
| Tourist Type | % of Tourist
Population (2010) |
% of Tourist
Population (2020) |
|---|---|---|
| Happy Family | 15% | 0% |
| Unhappy Family | 47% | 18% |
| Straight Couple | 9% | 6% |
| Gay Couple | 3% | 1% |
| Disney Adults | 23% | 74% |
| Lonely guy here to have fun | 3% | 1% |
Mascot Demographics
| Mascot | % of Mascot Population |
|---|---|
| Mickey Mouses | 18% |
| Minnie Mouses | 15% |
| Chips/Dales | 11% |
| Donalds | 9% |
| Goofys | 8% |
| Stitches | 5% |
| Elsas | 5% |
| Scrooge McDucks | 3% |
| Ariels | 2% |
| Moanas | 2% |
| Peter Pans | 0%^ |
| Other Princesses | 7% |
| Other Mascots | 15% |
Geography
Mostly flat, but they got a little space for a mountain...
There's some jungle too, in which you can cruise.
It's a country. So you know they got bears.
Not a lot, but hey, it's a small world.
Landmarks
The Magic Kingdom is home to many naturally-formed wonders of the world, including Mount Gushmore, the Grand Canyon, the Eiffel Tower, the Liberty Bell, and the Guardians of the Galaxy dark ride.
Government
The Magic Kingdom is a constitutional monarchy, which is ruled, in rotation, by the various Royal Families of the Disney Animated Canon, but not the ones you think! ;-)
King Homer's Reign
King Homer is the ruling patriarch of the Simpson family, which rules over the Magic Kingdom on Sundays, during the Animation Domination Block. King Homer is married to Queen Marge, and has three children, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie.
The Attempted Assassination of King Homer
Princess Elena's Reign
Princess Elena has domain over the magic Kingdom every Monday as the only Disney princess who can stand Mondays.
Princess Jasmine's Reign
Every Tuesday, Princess Jasmine rules the Magic Kingdom. Jasmine is notable as the only canonical theatrical Disney princess who has domain over the Magic Kingdom. The Sultan should probably rule but he's kind of lame so nahhhhhhhhhhh.
Hey.
What would you do if you heard a knock on the door but it was Princess Jasmine from Aladdin? And what if behind her was Mr. Beast, who would give you a million dollars if you showed her the world.
Clutch Powers' Reign
he rules every we-what the fuck. this guy isn't even owned by disney. kill this legoland bitch.
Star Butterfly's Reign
The Butterfly family rules every Thursday, due to Star's fascination with a particular ship associated with that day of the week. Some consider the reign of the Butterfly family to be Out of Touch, but since I have only watched season 1, i do not give 1 fuck!!!!
Thor's Reign
Marvel Cinematic Universe Icon Thor rules over the Magic Kingdom every Friday. Thor was infuriated by this because Thursday is LITERALLY THOR'S DAY; however Bickel was just too peak so they gave Bickel Thursday's to Star Butterfly #1 Bickel shipper.
Princess Vanellope's Reign
sarah silverman saturday
Culture
The Magic Kingdom is situated in central Florida, which is, first and foremost, is a culture-less place. However, The Magic Kingdom is an island of culture within it.
Art
Mickey Mouse is widely regarded by historians to he the first animation of all time, earning the Magic Kingdom the title of the Animation Republic of the World. But did you know he wasn't always called Mickey Mouse? Yeah! He was originally named Speedboat William. But then they realized speedboats weren't invented yet so they changed his name to Sam.
The Magic Kingdom is an exporter of many other arts as well, including goofy movies, extremely goofy movies, the High School Musical trilogy, The Newest Season of The Simpsons, and the ever-elusive yet highly delectable WALL-E NFTs 🤤
Religion
Many objects of worship exist in the Magic Kingdom such as One God, Several Gods, No Gods, and The Mighty Dollar.
Literature
Most reading material to come out of the Magic Kingdom takes the form of brochures or maps. The most famous of these being a map from the year 1996 with a little bit of ketchup spilled on it. Many have tried to replicate this ketchup spill, but unfortunately all of these are considered knock-offs and flops.
Parades
The Magic Kingdom is infamous for its daily parades, of which there are many. Parades include:
- The Main Street Electrical Parade
- The Festival of Fantasy Parade
- The 3:00 Parade
- The G-Rated Mardi Gras Parade
- The PG-13-Rated Mardi Gras Parade (identical to the G-Rated Mardi Gras Parade but they drop exactly one F-Bomb)
Theme Park
The Magic Kingdom is also a Theme Park. And thus, it has rides
Rides
- Dumbo Ride
- Pater Pan Ride
- Gadget Hackwrench Ride
- Buzz Lightyear Ride
- Winnie the Pooh Ride
- Girl Winnie the Pooh Ride
- Monster's Inc Ride
- i give up
The "Cinderella City" Controversy
There are some who think that the Magic Kingdom's Capital, Cinderella City, is not in fact the capital. It is unknown as to why people think this.
Reviews
People have opinions on the Magic Kingdom.
Review 1
The Magic Kingdom is pretty alright. I give it 5 Arlos.
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Review 2
I worked in the Disney College Program before I got famous and every day they had me walking around as the rat from Ratatouille and I thought his name was Ratatouille because everyone would come up to me and be like HEY RATATOUILLE but it turns out his name is Remy. Eventually I would start having dreams where The Magic Kingdom was a person and I was pulling their hair controlling their every move. Anyway working there made me realize I was a furry. 10/10
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Review 3
My wife had our first child on the Peoplemover. Truly beautiful...
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You know who ELSE had their first child on t-
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...DAD?!?!
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