Microwave

“	I just love to vibrate the molecules in my burger!	”
	— Ultimate Microwave

Fascinating little thing that allows only popcorn and raw chicken to be cooked.

Size

Microwaves are small. They can only fit one corn kernel in at a time. Raw chicken was found to be workable in this method because you can cut into cubes. Please do not try to put anything else into a microwave because it will not fit and you will spend a lot of time and effort and it wont come to anything because the microwave is just TOO SMALL okay.

Downsides

Though it does not actually produce tangible particle radiation due to the faraday cage (and relies on methods more akin to radio waves,) the existence of the Micro- (meaning small) wave (meaning what you do when you see friend) implies the existence of a Macrowave. oh no oh n o