Damn Dang/Pesterchum
-- openSarsaparilla [OS] began pestering karnoffelCode [KC] at 22:39 --
OS: Seems to work.
KC: I don't know... this chat client seems like a hunk of junk.
OS: That's the whole point. Nobody moderates this thing, and it allows direct messaging.
OS: Anyone can join those IRC chats, and we've been banned from most instant messaging services.
KC: Isn't this hosted on the wiki? Can't anyone see this?
OS: Not anyone on the same plain of existence as us.
KC: What the hell does that mean?
OS: We are fictional. 'Real' people browse this wiki. But they do not matter all that much to our plans.
OS: As far as I know, nobody that exists to us can see this.
KC: Is that so?
KC: If true, knowing that is questionable to quite a high degree.
KC: I hope that does not come into play in the conclusion of our plans.
OS: You are worried about the ending being meta as fuck?
KC: More worried about having to deal with divine powers. Are you quoting something?
OS: Yes, but it isn't really worth explaining.
OS: What do you think about The Yeti's recent actions?
KC: I don't get why he's so intrigued by some ugly seal.
OS: Did you even bother looking into what said seal has done?
KC: I don't really care. I doubt it knows anything. Its just being devious, as its name states.
OS: Do you know what devious means?
KC: Disruptive. Annoying. Idiotic.
OS: Those last two. Words that describe your current perception quite well.
OS: "Oh ho ho ho!"
KC: You think that seal knows anything?
OS: How should I know? I have my concerns, like you should.
KC: Its a seal. Those things aren't capable of affecting this in any way.
KC: Surely my input has some value here? I've spent the last few days deceiving these very creatures.
OS: Yes, many seals are so easy to trick and deceive. I don't know if it is an inherent trait, though.
OS: Do not think that I don't value your input. It is why I am talking to you in the first place.
OS: I just think you should think more thoroughly.
KC: I guess.
KC: Hey, heres a problem. What are you gonna do about that Host chat thing?
KC: I don't blame you for staying quiet in there, but there has to be a gameplan, right?
OS: I'll be honest, I have no fucking idea what to do about that.
OS: I was not expecting that nobody to rejoin.
OS: And if I leave, surely that raises suspicion?
OS: I'm considering having The Yeti go in there, 'remove' the account, and explain it was a glitch.
KC: You think they would fall for that?
OS: No. That's whats so infuriating.
KC: Is it as infuriating as Damn seal not having an elimination?
OS: This conversation is not going this way.
KC: You haven't a single death. I've lured in not even enough seals to count as one contestant's life, but I'm still ahead.
KC: Are you sure you don't want to switch?
OS: Do you see me as foolish? I know why you want to switch.
OS: You know Damn seal is more effective than Dang seal. It just isn't as fast.
OS: I am not an impatient person.
KC: Just think about it.
OS: It is getting late. Good night.
-- openSarsaparilla [OS] ceased pestering karnoffelCode [KC] at 23:18 --
-- openSarsaparilla [OS] began pestering karnoffelCode [KC] at 23:31 --
OS: Hey. Wait. Fuck.
KC: What?
OS: I'm not fully informed on this website's wacky cast, but I've atleast checked out the team I'm trying to spy on.
OS: I'm pretty sure the Emoticon is capable of reading and interacting with this chat.
KC: Do they know about this page?
OS: No, but she could learn.
OS: The devious seal is in the same chat as her.
KC: That seal doesn't know shit. Stop worrying about it.
KC: Goodnight.
OS: Can't you afford to be more cautious?
-- karnoffelCode [KC] ceased pestering openSarsaparilla [OS] at 23:44 --
-- openSarsaparilla [OS] began pestering karnoffelCode [KC] at 01:08 --
OS: Okay, sorry, but I'm kind of freaking out.
OS: I haven't really looked into everything on this wiki. What if several characters can see this?
OS: We kind of dumped a lot of information here.
OS: Are you awake?
OS: Wake up.
KC: Shut up.
OS: How are you so calm about this?
KC: Literally nothing has happened. Therefore, I do not give a fuck.
OS: You know, if you bothered to use the codewords, we wouldn't even be banned from Telegram.
KC: Why don't you go and marry Telegram?
OS: It is a highly encrypted chatting tool.
OS: You should have appreciated it more.
KC: You're right. I'll learn from my mistake and highly appreciate this Simpsons-ass software.
KC: We should try Pictochat next! And only talk in wingdings!
KC: If that doesn't work, we can video call on the Wii U, and talk in pig latin.
OS: I understand your tone and intent, but these aren't even bad ideas.
KC: How about carrier pigeon?
OS: That wouldn't work. What if someone catches one of them?
KC: I am laughing so fucking hard.
OS: Would taking this seriously be "so fucking hard"?
KC: I just found this page! What is going on! 7:O
KC: Holy shit! It's the combination of symbols that resemble a face that you are so scared of!
KC: Don't worry, I have a cyanide vial in two of my false teeth.
OS: Don't fucking scare me like that.
OS: I thought that was actually her.
OS: Let us cease the tomfoolery. Should I tell The Yeti about all this? I'm worried.
KC: No. Even if you had a point, he would overreact.
KC: Hey. Let's sleep on it.
KC: Or just forget about it.
OS: I will sleep on it. I will not forget about it. I am not as irresponsible as you.
KC: Good enough.
KC: Remind me to turn those elderly seals into food tomorrow.
KC: What would be cute? Two raisins? What foods usually come in pairs?
KC: Hahaha! What if I just turned them into a pear?
OS: Goodnight.
KC: Why can you delay my beauty sleep, but I can't delay your revolting sleep?
-- openSarsaparilla [OS] ceased pestering karnoffelCode [KC] at 01:33 --
-- karnoffelCode [KC] began pestering osoheDance [OD] at 01:59 --
KC: Warning! Host IRC Chat has been hacked. Please leave it ASAP. Avoid sending any messages before departure, as an exploit discovered by hackers allows them to take over your computer and delete all of your files if you send a message. We apologize for the inconvenience.
OD: oh thanks
OD: i forgot i had this app
OD: wtf is my username. reference to something.
OD: ohh its mother 3. i watched a lets play of it a few years back.
OD: is the hacker thing gonna be fixed soon
OD: i wanted to play street fighter with the people on there
OD: oh wait
OD: ur probably an automated message. not a person.
OD: im glad ur not both cuz that would've been embarrasing. if you could see that i tried to talk to you.
OD: but hopefully this is a noreply type thing
-- osoheDance [OD] ceased pestering karnoffelCode [KC] at 02:19 --
-- karnoffelCode [KC] began pestering openSarsaparilla [OS] at 02:21 --
KC: Dealt with the double trouble in that Host chat.
KC: Hope this doesn't wake you. Just wanted to brag.
-- karnoffelCode [KC] ceased pestering openSarsaparilla [OS] at 02:23 --
-- openSarsaparilla [OS] began pestering karnoffelCode [KC] at 12:09 --
OS: Huh. They've gone.
OS: How did you do that? Did you get into their account?
KC: No, I just asked them to leave.
OS: ...In what manner?
KC: I found their account on this very chat client. Here, I'll paste what I sent.
KC: KC: Warning! Host IRC Chat has been hacked. Please leave it ASAP. Avoid sending any messages before departure, as an exploit discovered by hackers allows them to take over your computer and delete all of your files if you send a message. We apologize for the inconvenience.
OS: And that worked?
OS: Is this person 50?
KC: I should ask them to send me 500 dollars, with the promise that I can give them a 2 million dollar inheritance.
OS: I don't know if I should say anything in that chat, still. They could come back later.
OS: It was a stroke of luck they didn't see my messages the first time. I flat out said "This is Open Sesame."
KC: I'll message them every week with something similar.
KC: "The exploit hasn't been solved, and the hacker group Anonymous can now email you pipebombs if you join chat."
OS: I appreciate the manipulation but I don't think this fixes the problem.
OS: The latest account claiming to be Open Sesame leaving without a trace... It could be seen as odd.
OS: I wouldn't say it makes things worse, but I think all previous risks still stand.
KC: Ok, Don't worry. I'll join, claim to be Open Sesame, and say I switched accounts.
OS: Do not fucking do that.
KC: I think it's a good idea.
OS: How
KC: It would be funny.
OS: Can you stop doing things like this?
OS: Are you so confident that nobody will investigate, that you find it easy to joke about leaving mountains of evidence?
OS: You keep making me freak out.
KC: Sorry. Should I put tone indicators on my messages? /s
OS: Indicators? On a page we don't want anyone to see?
OS: Put a beacon of light on my social security card while you're at it.
KC: I didn't even try to make you think about people finding this page that time.
KC: I think you just need to relax.
KC: And look up what a tone indicator is, so my mockery isn't lost on you.
OS: I do not need to decipher your mockery. I do not want to encourage it.
KC: You say this like you do not do the same.
OS: I only mock you when you show a lack of caution.
OS: I can berate you instead if you'd prefer.
KC: I only mock you when you whine about shit that doesn't matter.
OS: This is exactly what I am talking about.
KC: You know what. I am going to do something stupid just to prove you are worried over nothing.
KC: I'm gonna do something idiotic and nothing will happen as consequence. Here I go.
OS: Do I glorify this teasing with a response?
-- karnoffelCode [KC] ceased pestering openSarsaparilla [OS] at 12:31 --
-- openSarsaparilla [OS] began pestering karnoffelCode [KC] at 12:33 --
OS: Why did you do that
OS: Why thef uck did you do that
KC: Sit back and enjoy the fireworks.
KC: The fireworks in question:
KC:
KC:
KC:
KC:
KC:
KC:
KC:
KC:
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OS: What is wrongwit hyou
KC:
KC:
KC: It was funny.
-- karnoffelCode [KC] ceased pestering openSarsaparilla [OS] at 12:35 --
-- nerpaSeymour [NS] began pestering karnoffelCode [KC] at 12:36 --
NS: look at this thang 
KC: Okay.
KC: I'm just gonna tell myself this is a spam message that was not prompted by anything.
-- karnoffelCode [KC] blocked nerpaSeymour [NS] at 12:38 --
-- openSarsaparilla [OS] began pestering karnoffelCode [KC] at 12:40 --
OS: Do you see whatyouv'e done
OS: ONe of them is wise to us
OS: Joining the chatwas bad enoug but youfucking said what you said
KC: I only said that because I know nobody would take it seriously.
KC: Like when Walter White tells his DEA brother in law that his heavy bag is full of money.
OS: Heycan you tell me the conclusion of that tension inBreakin g Bad
KC: No, I never finished it.
OS: Ohmy god
OS: Ok fine that statementprobably doesn't add anything
OS: Butthey are very close to looking into things
OS: Hopefully that NerpaPunch alert distracts them
KC: I actually found a plugin that can add a NerpaPunch feature to our conversations here.
KC: I don't think it actually gives the awards but its good flavor text.
OS: Jesus fucking Christ
KC: Look, I did that because I know I'll get away with it. I'm trying to prove a point.
OS: If I killed you I wouldp robably get away with it and prove a point
OS: And you are still alive.
KC: Ok, I think I got it working.
-- karnoffelCode [KC] enabled NerpaPunchTaunt.js --
KC: Okay, say something.
OS: I don't appreciate this.
-- 🚽 Oopsies... This post was awarded NerpaPunch Missed the Bowl Award! Better luck next time... --
-- openSarsaparilla [OS] ceased pestering karnoffelCode [KC] at 12:52 --
-- redCrewmate [RC] began pestering karnoffelCode [KC] at 19:32 --
RC: do u know who the impostor is
KC: No.
RC: where in the ship were u
KC: I am not on a ship.
RC: sus
KC: Okay.
KC: Can you check this out https://tinyurl.com/dangseal
RC: ok
-- redCrewmate [RC] ceased pestering karnoffelCode [KC] at 19:39 --
-- deviousSeal [DS] began pestering karnoffelCode [KC] at 03:31 --
DS: Sasquatch...? I don't believe in such a thing...
-- deviousSeal [DS] ceased pestering karnoffelCode [KC] at 03:32 --
-- karnoffelCode [KC] started pestering deviousSeal [DS] at 13:32 --
KC: Hello. I am willing to co-operate with you. I will tell you anything you desire, if you do something for me.
DS: Is that so...? What would that be...?
KC: Please relocate temporarily to https://tinyurl.com/dangseal for me, and look after it while I tend to other things.
KC: I have many potential customers to contact.
DS: Very well...
-- karnoffelCode [KC] started pestering deviousSeal [DS] at 13:39 --
-- karnoffelCode [KC] began pestering openSarsaparilla [OS] at 15:15 --
KC: The Devious Seal is gone.
KC: Check the edit history of Dang seal.
OS: Huh.
OS: Why did they not leave?
KC: All seals are mindless beasts.
KC: This one had some tricks, but still in the brain of a pinniped.
OS: Good work.
KC: See you later.
-- karnoffelCode [KC] ceased pestering openSarsaparilla [OS] at 15:20 --
-- karnoffelCode [KC] began pestering openSarsaparilla [OS] at 16:04 --
KC: Wait.
KC: I turned that seal into steak, but didn't get a seal soul.
KC: Why did TheDeviousSeal32 not have a seal soul?
OS: Oh dear.
OS: Do you think it could've been an effigy?
KC: I think I would know an effigy when I see one.
KC: They turned into steak, not dust.
OS: There are several types of effigies.
OS: Perhaps this one was made of meat.
KC: Seals can't make good effigies. It was the real deal.
KC: TheDeviousSeal32 is dead. I'm just confused about why they have no seal soul.
OS: Do you think they may not actually be a seal?
KC: Looks like a god damn seal to me.
OS: Perhaps I can tell The Yeti about this. He can figure it out.
KC: What. No. Don't do that. Just tell him TheDeviousSeal32 is dead.
OS: You think we can get it under control?
KC: Yes. Okay, enough about my troubles.
KC: Are you still worried about the Host chat?
OS: Yes, however, surprisingly nothing came of it. If I recall correctly, nobody had any suspicions.
OS: Oh shit.
KC: What?
OS: I suppose I forgot. I just checked the chat, somebody DID start questioning.
OS: Looks like nothing came of it, still.
KC: That's good.
KC: Sorry about that, by the way. I think you might be right.
KC: I'm not sure what, but I feel something is wrong.
KC: We need to be more cautious.
OS: Glad you agree. I'm going to go the store and buy some rootbeer, goodbye.
KC: When you're back, toss me one through the machine.
OS: I am not using Fentanyl the Seal's machine to give you a fucking soda.
KC: Fine.
-- karnoffelCode [KC] ceased pestering openSarsaparilla [OS] at 16:29 --
-- karnoffelCode [KC] began pestering openSarsaparilla [OS] at 09:35 --
KC: I have made our chat page hog-proof.
OS: What the hell does that mean?
KC: The Hogs can't get to it now.
OS: The hogs?
KC: Yes. The Hogs. Try and keep up.
OS: Were they able to get here before?
KC: They can get to any page that isn't hog-proof.
OS: I was not aware this was a risk. Good work, I guess.
-- karnoffelCode [KC] ceased pestering openSarsaparilla [OS] at 09:41 --
-- thePirate [TP] began pestering openSarsaparilla [OS] at 11:41 --
TP: YARRRR! AVAST YE SCURVY SAP! THERE BE NO SEA, NO COVE TOO HIDDEN, THAT BE HIDDEN TO ME!
TP: I BE ONE EXPERT NAVIGATARRRRRRR!
TP: I CHALLENGE YE TO A DUEL! I PICK ME WEAPON, YE PICK YER MANNER O' DEFENSE.
TP: IF YE MANAGE T' WIN, YE SHALL HAVE FULL PROTECTION FROM ME CREW!
TP: IF YE LOSE, YE SHALL WALK TH' PLANK!
TP: WHAT'LL IT BE? I HOPE YE BE NO...
TP: PUSSY!
OS: Okay. I just chose Sidestep and it brought me to the Gold page. What does this mean for me?
TP: ...
TP: AYE, A DEALS BE A DEAL.
-- You got 3 Okin! --
-- thePirate [TP] ceased pestering openSarsaparilla [OS] at 12:20 --
-- karnoffelCode [KC] began pestering openSarsaparilla [OS] at 02:05 --
KC: Bad news.
OS: What?
KC: Your Damn seal members escaped their page.
OS: That doesn't matter to me.
KC: Why?
OS: Draining energy from them was just a side thing. I don't need them in there for our endgame.
KC: What? How do you get their souls?
OS: They just have to be confined to their team, and I can access their souls on elimination.
OS: Not like they even have to die, their competitor soul is a nonfatal removal.
OS: It is not like your page.
KC: What? So your page is foolproof?
OS: Don't be jealous.
OS: Seal slaughter is reliable. The nature of the competition is not.
OS: What the fuck. Jesus christ, check the source code of this page.
KC: What? Who put that there?
KC: God damn it.
OS: Whoever it is, doesn't look like they even care.
OS: Still, upsetting.
OS: I'm going to brush up on my Sesamese symbols. We will talk like that from now on.
KC: Ugh. Send me the sheet. I don't feel like finding mine.
OS: If I send you the sheet here, everyone will have it.
OS: Look for it.
KC: Fine.
-- karnoffelCode [KC] ceased pestering openSarsaparilla [OS] at 02:13 --