Johnny Cash
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| “ | I will make you hurt. | ” | |
| — Cash, before being banned for making threats | |||
Johnny Cash is a country singer who is said to have been everywhere. Reno was his first destination, but unfortunately he had murderous intentions. After being splashed with holy water, he planted a guerrilla garden on his lawn to express joy.
Legend has it that at one point during he travels, he travelled the length of the Ring of Fire by boat, stopping for a selfie in front of all the volcanoes along the way. This has since been proven false; in 2024, he saw the solar eclipse, describing it as the ring of fire.
Places Johnny Cash went to
- Reno, Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota, Buffalo, Toronto, Winslow, Sarasota, Wichita, Tulsa, Ottawa, Oklahoma, Tampa, Panama, Mattawa,[1] La Paloma,[2] Bangor, Baltimore, Salvador, Amarillo, Tocopilla, Barranquilla and Padilla.
- He's a killa.
- Boston, Charleston, Dayton, Louisiana, Washington, Houston, Kingston, Texarkana, Monterey, Ferriday, Santa Fe, Tallapoosa, Glen Rock, Black Rock, Little Rock, Oskaloosa, Tennessee, Hennessey, Chicopee, Spirit Lake, Grand Lake, Devil's Lake and Crater Lake.
- For Pete's sake.
- Louisville, Nashville, Knoxville, Ombabika, Schefferville, Jacksonville, Waterville, Costa Rica, Pittsfield, Springfield, Bakersfield, Shreveport, Hackensack, Cadillac, Fond du Lac, Davenport, Idaho, Jellico,[3] Argentina, Diamantina, Pasadena and Catalina.
- See what he means?
- Pittsburgh, Parkersburg, Gravelbourg, Colorado, Ellensburg, Rexburg, Vicksburg, Eldorado, Larimore, Atmore, Haverstraw, Chatanika, Chaska, Nebraska, Alaska, Opelika, Baraboo, Waterloo, Kalamazoo, Kansas City, Sioux City, Cedar City and Dodge City.
- What a pity...
Trivia
- Alongside Jobs and Hope, Cash makes up one of the late Pillars of Society. The only Pillar left is Bacon, and so he must be cared for at all costs.
- He hears the train a-coming. It's rolling 'round the bend.
- ↑ This could be either Mattawa, Ontario or Mattawa, Washington.
- ↑ Could also be a reference to La Paloma, Rocha, Uruguay.
- ↑ Could also be a reference to Jellicoe, Ontario.