World's Fattest Cigarette

Not to be confused with World's Fastest Cigarette.

Smoking kills "Can't go wrong with a menthol!" -Joe Biden WARNING: CRUCIAL WARNING!!!! THIS PAGE CONTAINS TOBACCO! THYE ARE FIESTY LITTLE CARCINOGEN who LOVE to bite For more information, see Bureau of Rigid Adherence to Strict Anti-Tobacco Messaging.

The World's Fattest Cigarette is an advanced hypothetical future invention that takes the form of a cigarette. Theoretically, it would be a big fuckin' cigarette that could be smoked entirely in as few as 5 hours or more. Alongside flying cars and color television, the World's Fattest Cigarette is a hallmark of a distant utopia.

Plausibility

Currently, no cigarette could ever be this slow. It is unknown whether this is possible with current laws of physics.

According to the laws of Life and Death, chuffing this cigarette in one go would theoretically kill you so bad that it would loop back around to giving you renewed life.