Push Dagger/Lore

Would you believe it? Push Dagger has lore now! It all started on a faithful wiki day...

Once upon a time, at the Board of Shareholders...

Wow! First time voting on Board Decisions! I have so much power now! Let's see...

Hmm... Yeah sure, why not... No... Yeah... Not sure, I'll abstain... Hmm...

Ha ha, what's that? Turning the logo cyan? What a silly thing. I'm not even gonna vote on it. This is so silly, why would it even happen?

hey guess what nerds

oh sure ok

Meanwhile, somewhere mysterious...

Oh our god this realm is extremely cyan. Maybe this is where we'll find our new bearer...

Epic Evil headquarters, Push Dagger's room

La la ! Having so much fun in team Epic Evil! Nothing could ever make me switch teams during the next challenge!

Unless we're making new ones and I can make an awesome team of World of Goo fans.

*CRASH*

What the hell was that noise? It came from outside. This glowing light in the forest won't tell me otherwise.

In the forest...

I can't see shit. How come they never put street lights in this mysterious dark forest?

Are you worthy?

Huh? Who just spoke?

We did. Are you worthy?

Well the entire universe couldn't really contain the size of my ego so my answer isn't gonna be objective.

This talking knife could be granted our powers, he's an interesting character for sure...

I'm a push dagger actually. Who the hell are you?

Only those who are worthy of our powers can be gifted the knowledge of our names.

And I thought I was pretentious.

Would you be interested in a series of tests to prove your worth to us?

Oh yeah sure!

Then hear this quest... You must align with the lands, seas and skies. They will give you instructions to obtain fairy powers, those of swords, snakes, and skeletons. First you will...

Yeah I've done that.

...sorry?

Don't be sorry.

Oh you're not joking... We can feel your hidden powers. Looks like we hit jackpot.

Ok so can I know who the hell you are now or...?

Right. We are cyan fairies, our names are June and Leno. If you accept our conditions, our powers will be yours.

Oh neat! What kind of conditions are you talking about?

You will enter new realms and access to a higher stage of existence. This new life will take most of your time...

Ok I don't want to be rude but you guys really sound like a cult right now.

Stay focused. You will have to leave behind your old life and stay away from your current friends.

Yeah you're definitely a cult.

We are not a fucking cult.

How do I know you can even grant powers? Just because you're weird talking lights doesn't mean-

Oh what the hell, look, just take them.

Holy shit.

Later, in Push Dagger's room

So what exactly are these powers anyway?

You will know how to understand them with time.

That's bullshit.

Where are we by the way? We heard evil laughter when walking near the other doors.

We're at Epic Evil headquarters! They're my team on The Wiki Camp 2!

We see. You are currently participating in a camp. We can't possibly make you quit.

Well yeah.

Is your team pursuing goals? Perhaps even an objective?

Yeah! Causing mischief and being oh so evil!

Well that won't do. Your new powers can only grow if you have strong ambitions.

Oh...

We assume team switching is possible, yes?

Well the next challenge is all about switching teams but...

Great! Find a new one.

And why would I listen to you?

We granted you our powers.

Yeah exactly. I have the power now, you have nothing. My powers, my rules.

...Fuck.

Ha ha! This is so evil! You were no match for my evil genius!

Not really, it just means we're gonna have to do it the hard way.

Hard way??

Or rather the confusing way. You will not remember a single thing about our encounter, but you will act according to the ambitions you're supposed to have.

AH!

The next morning...

Oh I did NOT get enough beauty sleep.

Something feels off. Like there's something I should know. Something important, something big, something...

...cyan.

Oh well. I feel great though! It's like I have new ambitions or something. I'm in the winning half of the camp, I want to give everything!

I should do something big to really mark this new era of the game. Like, I'll call it cyan era or something. Because of the new logo.

No other reason.

Well it's the team switching challenge... The perfect time for a big change...

After the Big Switch

Woah! This went so well! Everbody on Epic Evil was so nice about it!

Except the one who keyed my car.

ill do it again

Whatever! It wasn't really mine anyway, and I can buy a new one with all that money I got!

But for now, I should go to The Mario Party.

Precisely there

Now that I'm here and I got stronger ambitions, what was it I needed to remember?

Very strange... I'm sure it was important. Something like...

...this.

Holy shit my eyes are glowing. How am I doing that.

(He seems to be remembering. We should appear soon or it's going to be awkward.)

WHO JUST SPOKE

It is us. Do you remember?

Oh hell no. I was doing fine not remembering you two.

It was bound to happen anyway. Now that you are on a political party with strong ambitions, your powers should have grown. Care to try?

Well I like being powerful so I might as well do it. Let's see.

Yup I can see cyan, that's for sure.

Anything else?

Yes actually. I can see a path. Like it's telling me to go somewhere.

And where would that be?

Very far I'm afraid. My legs will get tired.

Didn't you mention a car earlier? We could use it.

I guess, but it was keyed so now it's uncool.

Don't let that defeat you. With more ambitions, you could get powers that can fix it.

Amazing! Well let's get to it then!

During the car ride

My name is Push Dagger btw, since you didn't ask. My pronouns are he/they but the singular they gets confusing when there are multiple people around, so most people just use he.

Our pronouns are the plural they. Because we are two people.

Oh yeah I've been meaning to ask, who's June and who's Leno?

Would it change anything?

Not really, but I'd want to know your pronouns if I ever had to speak to only one of you.

This will never happen. We are always together, like one entity. You may only refer to us as the both of us.

Oh sure ok.

Still in the car, but after some awkward minutes of silence

We've been driving in a straight line in this desert for a while now. This is taking forever! Who cares if I go over the speed limit? There's no one here!

Don't do that. Speed limits exist for a reason, even in the desert.

Yeah you're right, that would be pretty irresponsible.

Indeed. But also one of us is deeply scared of high speeds.

Awww. Poor Leno.

We are not sure why you would directly assume we were talking about Leno. But you are correct. It just goes so fast.

Even later

We heard you say this car wasn't yours. What did you mean by that?

Oh, that! I stole it.

...huh?

Yeah it was a long time ago. But it was abandoned, so I figured that's ok. I even wrote a song about it!

That was horrible. Where did you even get that pan flute from? Don't do that ever again.

Oh...

Why don't we turn on the radio instead?

Sure, go ahead.

Hey, hey, hey, ich war der goldene Reiter

Oh yeah, the radio does this weird thing where it only airs german songs.

Really? That's weird. But a perfect occasion to learn about other cultures.

Yeah, I like this one!

Doch dann fiel ich ab, ja, dann fiel ich ab

Finally to the place

FINALLY! I'm so tired. Driving is so hard when you don't have a license.

We are not going to ask any questions about this.

Ah, look! There's a weird orb thingy!

And it's cyan as well. This could be a lot of things, better be careful...

I just absorbed it.

WHAT

WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT

Well I wasn't going to just leave it there!

Also, look around. We're back at the Wiki Camp grounds!

Oh, we actually are. Even your car is here. So it just... Teleported us back? What a waste of time.

You don't seem to know too much about your own powers. That's worrying.

The powers change depending on the person. But are you saying you teleported us?

Yeah! I guess the orb was a new power or something, we can teleport now! I was worried about missing some camp stuff, now I know we can come back anytime! What a relief!

Interesting. You worries about it is probably the reason you got this specific power.

It needs to charge before I can use it again though.

Makes sense, you're still a bit weak. We believe that if you get more powerful, eventually you won't need to charge it at all. By the way, where are we specifically?

Kinda close to the Epic Evil headquarters. We should leave before it gets awkward. Also I can see Noah looking at my car menacingly.

Back at The Mario Party

Right, the car should be safe in this super secret parking lot. So what's next?

To be continued...