Autism Powers

Not to be confused with Austin Powers.

“	Yeah, baby!	”
	— Austin Powers on Autism Powers

Autism Powers are a set of skills which can be channeled into playing cards. They are enjoyed by over 80 million autistic people worldwide. Due to their rainbow-like nature, they're often confused with Austin Powers' multicolored stage prescence.

List of Autism Powers cards

20 Health	Egg	2 Attack
1 APP	Summons 1 simple egg. How intriguing!	1d4
Upgradable (3 APP)	"Truth be told, I want to hear the screams of every living being in the universe..." - Magolor	Tier 1

10 Health	Howling Wraiths	5 Attack
4 APP	*blows up pancakes with mind*	3d10
Upgradable (3 APP)	"Born of god and void." - Pale King	Tier 3

10 Health	Autism Blast	3 Attack
2 APP	Blasts raw, unfiltered autism right into your foes.	2d10
	"I'm sure you'll have a BLAST using this." - Whyze Guy	Tier 2

Variable	Fixation Conjuration (Item)	Variable
10 APP	Conjures any item, fictional or otherwise, right in front of you, as long as it's part of your Fixations. Permanently discard after 5 uses.	Variable
	The most powerful weapon concieved or a nice cold brew, all on demand. Thanks Amazon!	Tier 5

Variable	Fixation Conjuration (Self)	Variable
5 APP	Alter yourself to take the appearance of something from one of your Fixations, fictional or otherwise.	Variable
	Turn your arm into highly experimental technology! What could possibly go wrong?	Tier 4

30 Health	Abyss Shriek	8 Attack
7 APP	my fuckin pancakes-	4d20
	"If your paths were ever to align, I imagine you might gain yourself a powerful ally." - White Lady	Tier 4

10 Health	Sick Riff	N/A
5 APP	Play a really sick guitar riff, boosting all your card's Attack by 3 and your opponent's card's Attack by 1.	N/A
	Aerodynamic.	Tier 5

10 Health	Burnout	N/A
2 APP	Does nothing when cast. Can only be discarded from your hand via casting.	N/A
	This card sucks on purpose. What, did you think a downside would be GOOD?	Tier 0

0 Health	Cursed Call	5 Attack
5 APP	Avoids every attack. Discarded only when all other cards on the player's field are destroyed.	1d20
	"Wavering soul." -Caveat Crucible	Tier 3

20 Health	Fan the Hammer	3 Attack
3 APP	Shoots many weak shots across the opponent's field.	6d6
	"Get those spurs kickin'." -Cole Cassidy	Tier 2

1 Health	Spectral Strike	6 Attack
6 APP	Strike your opponent with the power of the spectrum. Upon play, put 2 copies of Burnout into your hand.	4d10
	"Strike" strays a bit from "Blast," but a suitable synonym sadly stays a secret to us.	Tier 5

History

James Bond and Le Chiffre in a high-stakes game of Autism Powers.

Autism was created as soon as humans evolved, and with it came the release of Autism Powers.

Autism Powers series

Joseph Robinette Biden is an avid fan of Autism Blast.

Autism Blast is one of many offensive spell cards that's part of the main Autism Powers name. As its name implies, it allows the user to blast the opponent with raw autism energy. This spell costs 2 Autism Power Points (APPs) to cast, and deals 2d10 magic damage. It's widely considered the most basic spell card in it's category, however experienced Autism Power users agree that it's simplicity makes it a valuable asset. Due to having basically no downsides aside from cost, scholars across the globe recommend having at least two Autism Blasts in any given deck. As with many other cards named after autism itself, it was one of the first cards introduced.

Burnout is a junk card gained from getting bad luck from certain cards, like Hyperfocus (Self). It's also gained after casting stronger cards, such as the Spectral series. Due to how it functions, the only method of discarding it is by biting the bullet and using 2 APPs to cast it. This functionality is to make sure that players don't cheat out of it, as the card is designed to be a drawback to many cards. This card is the bane of many decks that have a high amount of cards that can inflict it, such as those making heavy use of the aforementioned Spectral series, due to the factors surrounding it. To combat this, simply don't use high amounts of Burnout inflicting cards, numbskull.

Spectral series

Spectral Strike is a very typical card from this series. As the name implies, it is a more powerful version of the card Autism Blast. It is also far more costly to cast, as not only does it cost a total of 6 APPs, it also carries the additional, long terms cost of 4 APPs from the Burnouts it gives. These downsides don't come from nowhere, however, as it inflicts 4d10 of magic damage, boosting the maximum of Autism Blast from 20 to a whopping 40, and the minimum from 2 to 4. It also gives an average of 22 damage, compared to the previous average of 11, which is very nice.

This is a good representation of the Spectral cards, as they are specifically designed to be stronger, but more costly, upgrades of base cards. Due to this, many cards have upgrades that are objectively better (like Spectral Wombo Combo compared to Autism Combo), objectively worse (like Spectral Flare-out compared to Burnout), or in most cases, a side-grade (like the Spectral Skullcutter compared to the Eyelander). An exceptional counterplay to these strong cards is to use APP-draining cards, to prevent them from being played at all. Spectral deck players really hate this, and I really hate Jerry, who beat me back in '05 with a Spectral deck, so it all checks out.

Fixation series

Fixation Conjuration has two cards sharing the same name; an (Item) form and a (Self) form. Both forms of the card spec into the Fixation mechanic, which are things or pieces of media that the user of the card enjoys an incredible amount. With the (Item) form, due to the variable nature of it, it's difficult to predict what one could summon with it. One could easily create a sword of pure light to smite their foe into next Tuesday, or something as simple as a nice cold Bloxy Cola to enjoy, if one source is anything to go by.

However, it does have limits to its power. For instance, it cannot summon anything outside of the users Fixations. If the user wished to summon a weapon from God of War, but they weren't spec'd into that, the card would fail to function and return the spent APPs. It also has a very high cost, for potentially little return. Even in decks maximizing APP gain, 10 APPs is a steep price. Additionally, the card can only be used a total of five times before being permanently discarded, and unable to be drawn again. Overall, the (Item) form of Fixation Conjuration can be unwieldy for certain decks, and symphonic in others. This card (both (Item) and (Self) forms) was also introduced early on in the game's life, first seen in the Fixation expansion deck, along with the Fixation mechanic itself.



The (Self) form functions a slight bit differently. Instead of summoning an item, the user instead alters their physical appearance to be more similar to a desired character or thing from a chosen Fixation. Like (Item), it cannot apply the appearance of something outside of the user's Fixations, but it also cannot apply the appearance of something that would kill the user, such as explosives. In cases where the user could potentially get hurt were it to backfire, the user is altered further to prevent such a case from happening, like making the user acid-resistant if applying acidic appearances.

(Self) form is significantly easier to integrate into decks, due to both it's lower cost and lack of a use limit. It's function, however, is still far from universal, due to how it relies on the user doing things rather than summoned characters. For this, decks heavily reliant on summons find little use out of this card. For a card that's 5 APPs, it's not that bad, and overall get's around high to mid B-tier in professional tier lists.

Autism: The Musical series

Sick Riff let's you play a really sick guitar riff, like the one from Aerodynamic, Freebird, or Bad to the Bone. It's pretty freakin' sweet, and widely agreed upon to be one of the best cards purely because of how awesome it is.

Hollow Knight series

Autistic icon The Knight is known to have a wide array of Autism Powers, including Vengeful Spirit, Desolate Dive, and Howling Wraiths. These cards can also be upgraded into stronger spells, including Shade Soul, Descending Dark, and Abyss Shriek. The Knight themselves appears as a summon, and can be upgraded when certain cards are in play.

In popular culture

Death Note

In the manga Death Note, L uses his autism powers in order to deduce the true identity of Kira.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians

Autism powers were thought to inspire the main character Percy Jackson's ADHD Powers.

Transformers

Auptismus Prime uses his signature Autism Axe to attack Neurotypical Megatron (Transformers: Autism Wars). This is thought to be directly inspired by the popular Autism Powers franchise.

Trivia

Legends say that the strongest forms of autism powers are able to kill gods.