Dinosaurs, or simply dinos, are a collection of dragons from ancient times that, much like unappreciated artists, only really got popular once they were dead.
The dinos roamed across three seasons of The Dinosaur Object Show; namely, the Triassic, Jurassic, and Cretaceous. Unfortunately, Chicxuluby had to make his cameo appearance, resulting in death and destruction. Today, birds remain the global ambassadors of these fine artifacts.
Classification
Dinosaurs are separated into distinct groups.
- The bitey-scary ones, like Tyrannosaurus rex and Allosaurus
- The tiny-runny ones, like Velociraptor
- Triceratops
- The flappy-fly-y ones, like Pteranodon
- The biggy-necky ones, like Brontosaurus
- The swimmy-fishy ones, like Mosasaurus
- The grassy-squatty ones, like Bulbasaur
- The miscellaneous goobers, like Stegosaurus or Ankylosaurus or Spinosaurus or Parasaurolophus or perhaps a nurpoing
Before dinosaurs
| “ | It's the Cambrian explosion! | ” | |
| — Bill Wurtz | |||
It's hard to imagine anything older than dinosaurs, but life is full of surprises. The ammonite is one, for sure. Anomalocaris is pretty hip. Tiktaalik, that loveable scamp. But you can see it's a bit sparse to find ones people GAF about.
Alongside dinosaurs
Crocodile. Shark. Turns out these modern hits are actually covers of the classics. Don't forget the nautilus and coelacanth!
In popular culture
Despite being the scariest fucking animals ever, dinosaurs are popular among children, and babies too. The fossilized remains of the primitive plant life that decorated dino-land, ink, can be frozen and hardened into plastic. Plastic can be molded into the scientifically accurate shape of dinosaurs, which make for stellar playthings.
Dinosaurs may be depicted as either villainous or heroic. You'd think being a pansy herbivore would make you more marketable, but it is hard to empathize with necky dinosaurs, and Triceratops is pretty damn ugly, so people flock to T. rex. Velociraptor is the junior alternative.
Trivia
- Barney is a dinosaur (from our imagination).