Mississippi (river)
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The Mississippi River is a river. Rivers are full of water and fish. Long water is known as a river, and so this is the Mississippi one.
Many states use the Mississippi as a border, such as Utah, Montenegro, and Philadelphia. The river is highly trafficked. This is because, unlike roads, it lacks traffic lights. If a lane were to be added to the river, millions would perish or lose their homes. This is why man became God and controlled the river, preventing it from ever changing course ever again, a surprisingly easy task to perfect.
History
The Mississippi's origins date back to pre-Pangaean times, when it was the Nile's next-door neighbour during the maiden voyage of Noah's Ark. Eventually, the Ark landed in the capital Rio de Janeiro, which holds its annual dragon boat race along its banks. The issue was, seals infested the river. All the perches and pikes were no match for a mighty leopard seal. However, as mentioned before, Creative Mode was an option, and so the Mississippi, the most malleable river in the world, was bent in order to exterminate all evidence of a nerpa population. But the thing is, this creates an oxbow lake. Meteorologists are rather concerned about this.
Controversy
In late September of 2023, the so-called Mighty Mississippi was being more like the Measly Mississippi. Just because it rained 0.01% less that year, it was getting rather dry and weak, letting the loathed salt water creep up. Is it stupid?
Nerpulation
Of course it is! Now there's a bigger chance of seal infestation and eventual nerpulation, which none of us want! Let me explain:
Obviously, we know the ringed seal has two freshwater subspecies: Ladogas and Saimaas, though because the Measly Mississippi flows into the northern tip of Alaska, ringed seals could begin settling up and down the river. In fact, biologists from across the state of Osaka, lying just east of the Mississippi, warn of upcoming nerpulation, resulting in a third freshwater-esque ringed seal subspecies—the Mississippi ringed seal—as early as 2025.