Killing God
 | This article may be confusing or unclear to readers. (IDK) |
Killing a god is one hell of a devious feat that involves the murder of any form of god or deity or whatever. This is known as deicide, but nobody got confused with that term. People who succeed in killing a god are known as god-slayers, and are both feared and praised for the power they wield.
According to the Immortal Breaker trope, some weapons can be used by a god-slayer to aid them in their quest of killing a god. These weapons are able to bypass immortality and kill a god like as if they were any other ordinary being. There are a wide range of other methods of killing a god, as well as some alternatives for the pacifists.
Do note, this article will get very peaky from this point onwards. Be careful!
History
When the Roman Empire was still a thing, some person decided to come up with the idea of killing God, the Christian one because Christianity was starting to become a thing around then and they really did not like God. But when they presented the idea to their fellow Romans, everyone called them some nickname in Latin, which I think translates to "dummy" in English.
After the concept was brought up, a bunch of monarchies outright outlawed deicide. Anyone who even mentioned killing God would be arrested... Nowadays, nobody cares... Until now. With the creation of this article, interest in the idea has reached an all-time high! As a result, many have begun thinking up of ideas, and have even put them into action...
Oh... I got ahead of myself... Let's get back to those Romans... So, like, I think they eventually killed the person that brought up the idea? That's dumb, stupid and MEAN. But you could call that "Killing Roman". The person who was ruling the Roman Empire at the time took notice of this very bizzare situation and decided to make deicide ILLEGAL... Basically, whoever killed the person is innocent, and the person that was killed, who I'm gonna call Bob, got killed again. Sorry, Bob, we'll always remember you.
Over the course of the next thousand of years, other rulers began taking inspiration and started to outlaw deicide, especially the ruler of the Holy Roman Empire, who named their country after the Roman Empire. Even New Columbia banned decide as part of its policy of protecting pinnipeds, which includes "seal gods".
As a form of protest against these laws, some dude formed an organization with its main goal being to get deicide legalized. However, the government of the country it was founded in, I think Zuzutopia, tracked them down and forced them to dissolve it. So sads!
In religions
Monotheism
Monotheism is the belief that there is only one god, but even one god is too powerful for a simple organism to wipe out. One would need to somehow nullify their immortality and immense power in order to kill them.
Depending on who you ask, it is impossible to kill a god as they are "maximally great" on every front, rendering them unkillable. To some, a god's power is fueled by the belief and worshipping of others, as well as awareness. If one were to attempt to kill a god in this context, they would have to brainwash everyone into no longer worshipping and being aware of them. This will greatly diminish the god's power, allowing for one to kill them. Others believe that you can simply convince a god to stop existing.
Polytheism
If you kill one god, there's a very high probability that the other gods will be made aware, and then they may try to get their revenge on you. Unless you are impressively brave and know what you are doing, it's just not worth it.
Sealism
Sealism is a religion made by seals where they worship a seal god. This should be taken care of by the total seal extinction, but it shouldn't be that hard to do it yourself if you so choose.
However, please be wary of the Niko cupids that guard the god! They are very powerful and won't go down without a fight... I heard they give 100 EXP and 80 gold each, and have a rare chance of dropping their fabled bow! This can also be perfect practice for one's MMORPG skills.
Atheism
Since atheists don't believe in any religion, there is no god to kill. Great job!
Jediism
Jediism doesn't have any gods. Followers of this religion only truly believe in the way of the Force. But... how can you defeat the Force..? Well, it ain't a god, so WHATEVER.
In The Wiki Camp
Season 1
Is The Supreme Empress a god? I don't know but she's already dead so whatever.
Season 2
The Divine Goddess is a goddess in The Wiki Camp 2. So far, it is unknown if She is killable. Though, one agenda proposed could've been a deliberate attempt at doing so. The agenda in question would've made The Divine Goddess the same entity as a user, which may have stripped Her of all Her power. However, it's also possible that this would've had no impact on Her power at all.
Season 3
What?
Methods
Immortal Breaker
Some weapons wield abilities that are able to kill anyone, even if they happen to be immortal. This does indeed apply to gods, and the effect of the weapons may vary between mortal and immortal entities. For example, some weapons may make mortals implode upon being struck with one, or they may have the same effect on both mortal and immortal beings, either being the same as a regular weapon or being incredibly overpowered.
Death Note
It's possible that writing down a god's name into the Death Note could result in them dying. However, you need to know the name of the god and their face as well before proceeding. Cause of death can be anything.
Really? Let's see if that's the case...
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Meteor Token
Legend has it that the usage of a Meteor Token on a god is able to kill them. Unfortunately, due to the token's scarcity, this is unable to be confirmed, but based on how the initial effects of the Nutshell Token allowed for a new competitor to join The Wiki Camp 2, albeit immediately being eliminated for "DNPing", it is highly likely to be plausible.
Super Star
Using a Super Star allows the user to gain invicibility from obstacles, as well as the ability to wipe out anything in their path by simply walking into them. This can be used against a god, maybe.
Mascot horror
Set up a very cool gaming setup to lure them in, and then tell them. "Hey, play Garten of Banban! It's sweeped a lot of times!" and they may agree! Unless they know what it is, then you're gonna have to trick them into playing it... Once they get to the scary bits, they will JUMP OUT OF THEIR CHAIR and Die... I count this as deicide.
Cheats
Just do a bit of /kill followed by the god's name and ta-da! Just like that, that god is now dead. If you're looking to actually kick butt, do /gamemode creative, go up there and show that god who's boss!
Roll them up with a katamari
Have you heard of Katamari Damacy? It's a game where you roll up things with a ball called a katamari. Hey, maybe try rolling up a god with one of those, because, did you know? With enough mass... The katamari becomes a celestial body? That means... the god gets converted into PLANET...
Alternatives
For some, they don't want to bear the responsibility of having killed someone as they feel it's immoral. As such, many seek out alternate solutions to getting rid of a god.
Doing nothing
What did the gods do to you? Why are you bothered by them so much? All they do is sit around and watch us do things...
Banish
You know how in Christianity, God banished Lucifer from Heaven because he rebelled against him? Well, its pretty much like that, I guess. Though, if you're looking for a way that's more moral than murder, this might not be it? Sorry... :/
Ask nicely
Maybe if you use magic words like "please" and "thanks" they'll listen to you!
Get a greater power to do it
Why waste your time fighting a god when you're clearly going to be smitten into a trillion atoms by a massive bolt of lightning? Get someone who is beyond god-tier to do it for you!
Lead them on a path towards bankruptcy
Get a god to gamble and to keep gambling until they file for bankruptcy and lose everything, including their power and immortality! Then they will start to live in the dumpsters like good old Spamton!
Another way could be to get them to waste their money on cryptocurrency or NFTs or both. Yeah, go and buy land in the metaverse. Play Atlas Earth. What's that? Bubble popped? LOL, get pwned.
If that's not your cup of tea, get them to pay for Twitter Blue. Actually, get them to pay to become a "VERIFIED ORGANIZATION". That's right, a Verified Organization! A whopping $1,000 per month for a SHINY GOLDEN CHECKMARK! (Of course, this includes tax, but they don't cares about tax... they only cares about fax!) They won't know it, but not only will their bank drain faster than the ocean in that one Spongebob scene, but everyone will block them until their timeline becomes scarce and they are left oomfless... What a horrible way to go out, left with nothing but that sweet, sweet, checkmark...
Example
God @RealGod Hey guys, someone told me to spend money on a shiny checkmark just so people know I'm the real deal and I was like... why? But alright... Isn't this platform crazy or what?
April 18, 2023
God @RealGod Replying to @RealGod
April 21, 2023
God @RealGod Replying to @RealGod
Sigh... I think this is it... I'm going to have to file for bankruptcy... Goodbye guys...
April 23, 2023
Retconning
Perhaps it could be possible to retcon a god out of existence? For example, introducing new information that contradicts their existence by saying that they don't, and then proceeding to eradicate any evidence of them ever being there. This includes relationships and props. The god will no longer be acknowledged, and will fade into obscurity, and then out of reality. Win!
Example
oh, hi god!
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...Uh, who are you?
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well, my name's john!
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i've heard, like, a LOT about you!
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...Well, that's nice... What are you doing in my domain though?
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well, have you heard of, uh, retconning?
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...No?
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well, watch? i'll show you!
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...
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god? where did you go?
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whoops, must've accidentally made you not exist anymore, haha.
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...
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ha.
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Trap them
Lead their unsuspecting cursor over an ordinary but trite blue link... watch them get damned for all eternity, stuck in a paradox of death. May cause mild server problems.*
* VERY MUCH server problems. Don't even try this, especially at home..!
You could also use a Captchalogue card and captchalogue them for life. They'd be stuck forever, not being able to get out... Try not to let the card fall into the wrong hands... Someone could punch it and then make clones of the god! Eeeyikes!
Unsolvable sudoku
Give them a sudoku to solve! But put in a catch... where the puzzle is rigged to be UNSOLVABLE. They'll spend countless hours trying to figure out the solution... when there isn't one! Oh ho ho ho!
They'll then cluelessly spend days, weeks, pathetic months on this one puzzle, so long that time becomes meaningless... The little baby angels will become oh so upset and start a rebellion out of impatience! Yeowch!
Eliminate
Eliminating a god is a sure-fire way to get rid of them good! Without killing them, of course. Simply put, send them to the Tiny Loser Chamber, Idiotic Island, or any other wacky place you can think of! Oh yeah, you could also freeze them... with cryonics, by the way.
Disproven methods
These are methods that were once thought to have been effective in killing a god, but were later disproven to do so.
Using garlic
While it may have been seen as foul-proof at first, garlic only works on vampires (especially poor ol' Dracula), not gods, so this idea was quickly thrown out of the window.
Merge their page with List of minor gods
Nah... Even if it gets them out of the way of Special:Random somewhat, they're still mentioned somewhere. It's better to just get rid of their page entirely...
Challenge them to a wrestling match
No, Logan Paul, this is not going to work. You can't just simply wrestle a god to death you bozo brain.
Capables
These are people that can perform deicide at their own will. I'm calling them "capables".
The god themselves
They can stop existing on their own. I think? Yeah.
Higher powers
People say that nobody can be more powerful than a god, but is that really oh so true? Maybe, somewhere out there... there IS a more powerful being? IDK.
Wiki editors
Anyone with the knowledge of editing a wiki can follow the instructions of adding a mere category to a page! In this case, adding Category:Deceased to the god's page. It's as easy as cake.
God tier players
Any god tier player could probably very much certainly use their powers to defeat a god. After all, their stories are typically longer than The Bible itself!
Doctor Robotnik
Doctor Robotnik probably has some super powerful weapon that could kill any form of god. After all, he apparently has an IQ of 300. Though, if Sonic can beat him, then maybe a god could be able to. Though, Sonic is probably more powerful than an average god, so...
Sonic the Hedgehog
The Prince of All Cosmos
He's the one that controls the katamari! He can push that ball in a god's way and roll them up!
Peaks
People who have ABSOLUTELY peaked (especially those in games-designated-mascot-horrors) can always defeat a god... No exceptions of course!
NOT Capables
These are people that can't kill a god. I call them "NOT Capables".
Logan Paul
All he can do is suck at wrestling... that's basically it.
Snorty Pig
Snorty Pig, you're not an object, and you absolutely can not tackle a god on your own.
Non-peaks
People who have NEVER peaked (especially those in games-not-designated-mascot-horrors) can never defeat a god... Unless otherwise of course!
Suitable things
Katamari
Like I said twice above, this thing... Can roll up a GOD...
Plot armor
Equip this and when that god tries to strike you down... They die instead!
Portla Gun
Teleport that god somewhere else with this handy thing and you'll never have to worry about them again!
Arlo
Get little ol' Arlo to review them... Who knows? Maybe the god's weakness is criticism..?
Royalty Crown
Get a god to wear the fabled Royalty Crown and they will think everyone respects them so very much... Which, they might already do, but more so this time. However, they'll keep wearing it to the point where they get transported to a different reality where everyone HATES THEM! Not only will they be gone from your reality... But they might perish in that reality soon enough!
Thingamajig
The functionality of a thingamajig is unknown, but whatever it is, I know it can take a god down.
After-effects
There may be a couple of after-effects that occur after deicide is committed.
- The followers of the religion based around the god you killed could potentially seek out a new god to worship? They could probably find someone to take the old god's place, but what if they don't? Well, it's possible that the religion may collapse, and new religions may take its place.
- Every single one of the god's followers will be on high alert and will one hundred percent certainly be on the lookout for you. If you still have the weapon you used to kill that god, surely you'd be able to take the followers on. If you left your weapon behind... first of all, why? Second, whoopsies!
- Potential destruction and/without a reset of the universe itself? Maybe leading it to a heat death or just deleting it with a snap of one's fingers. If so, then killing a god might not be worth it. Though, maybe you'll prevail? Again, this is a maybe.
- You could potentially become the new god and gain all of their powers, but why would you want that to happen when you were born to kill gods? Nobody wants to become what they've sworn to destroy.
- The weather may be all messed up, so be careful when going outside! It could be raining rain... And that's not normal!
- Sales of mascot horror games will be unaffected.
- The Nintendo cinematic universe may become a real thing. Holy shit.
Reception
Many people found the concept of killing a god aka deicide to be very radical. When asked about deicide, Jesus said "ok but don't kill my dad please :/". When told about the concept, Elon Musk expressed that he liked the idea of killing God and taking his place, and that he would try to attempt this so that he can finally get people to "work on X, the everything app". Sealon Musk immediately scolded Elon for stealing his idea, saying that he planned on making an app called "Postinped", which would've functioned the same as X.
Did you know..? There is a little story below this paragraph! I don't know why it's there or why it's so full of plot... But it's there! Yippers!
God's thoughts
die
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ok
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Sealon Musk's opinions
Sealon Musk @SealonMusk Hey now, he spent a hefty amount on my brand new "Verified Organizations" feature. I'd let him live.
Apr 25, 2023
Sealon Musk @SealonMusk Replying to @SealonMusk
Yes... don't think about killing him! He's my most faithful customer.
Apr 25, 2023
God @RealGod Replying to @SealonMusk
Sir, your feature literally caused me to go bankrupt. Please let me get a refund.[incomprehensible]
Apr 25, 2023
Sealon Musk @SealonMusk Replying to @RealGod
Apr 25, 2023
@Moon has violated the Twitter's Terms of Service.
Sealon Musk @SealonMusk Replying to @Moon and @RealGod
Apr 25, 2023
Ponsuke ⛽ @ilovemelonsilly Replying to @SealonMusk, @Moon and @RealGod
Apr 26, 2023
God @RealGod Replying to @ilovemelonsilly, @SealonMusk and @Moon
What..? How? That was literally one of my creations!
Apr 26, 2023
Ceritfied Puncher @laughtingstockbroke Replying to @RealGod, @ilovemelonsilly and two others
Apr 26, 2023
NORPA's response
When confronted with the idea of killing gods, specifically seal gods, NORPA announced that they had plans for creating a division to handle seal gods. The eventual division would be named Division Specialized in Seal God Extermination (DSSGE). While praised for existing, many criticized the acronym, calling whoever named it a "Loser that Annoys Many Egalitarians......".
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