Sammer's Kingdom

Not to be confused with Slammer's Kingdom.

The flag of Sammer's Kingdom

Sammer's Kingdom is a kingdom created by The Divine Sammer. It is the main location where Sammer Guys are located. As of now, King Sammer rules over the kingdom. He's so cool.

History

In 1920, The Divine Sammer competed in Battle for Dream Island and was eliminated fourth in a 12-4-1 split. He later came back into the game through a viewer vote and went on to win the first season, breaking the famous "rejoiners never win" rule. This allowed him full access of Dream Island, which was shortly renamed to Sammer Island. Expansion started in 1927, where the surrounding area became part of Sammer territory, and it was changed to the current name of Sammer's Kingdom.

Development of Sammer's Kingdom rapidly increased, and with that came the introduction of Sammer Guys, guards who are specifically trained for combat. Each guard got a name, and according to each ruler, any reference to media at the time is completely unintentional.

However, tragedy struck in 2007, when Cunt Bleck's black hole bomb wiped out the entirety of the kingdom, leaving it blank, with only the villainous Mr. L left. Because all of the guards were knocked out from the bomb, Mr. L took over the kingdom and renamed it to the Evil Mushroom Kingdom (any resemblance to other Kingdoms was a coincidence.) Mr. L later realized it kind of sucked to be the leader of a kingdom of nothing. He reigned for two months before King Sammer realized an opportunity: any purchases made on behalf of the kingdom that went towards its development would be charged to the current ruler's credit card. Using this loophole, he bought several trillion dollars worth of materials, workers, and energy, all dedicated to restoring the kingdom to its former glory.

Mr. L was immediately executed for his immense amount of debt, and King Sammer was able to once again take his seat as the ruler of (the now re-re-re-renamed) Sammer's Kingdom.

Controversy

Not to be confused with Scammer's Kingdom.

too many sammer guys :\ really padding out the game guys cmon

we already have like two pits of 100 trials did we really need this one

and all for some got damn cards!!?? fuck this game bro

List of Sammer Guys

6-1: Sammer's Kingdom

Image	Name	Quote	Tattle	Note
	Okin Slicer	"I am Okin Slicer, the one who slices ALL the Okins, but today, I will SLICE YOU!"	"That's Okin Slicer, one of King Sammer's legendary Sammer Guys… I don't support his seal slicing tendencies."	His name is a reference to Okin.
	Pleasant Reverie	"My name is Pleasant Reverie, the bearer of prettier pages. FEAST YOUR EYES ON ME! We'll see who belongs in the brackets by the time I put you BACK IN YOUR PLACE!"	"That's Pleasant Reverie, one of King Sammer's legendary Sammer Guys… He used to work for his brother's law firm."	His name is a reference to the various aesthetic templates across the wiki.
	Thing of Confusion	"I am a Thing of Confusion! Beware my Magic and Autism Powers... or some other third thing..."	"That's Thing of Confusion, one of King Sammer's legendary Sammer Guys... He's trying to find meaning in life."	His name is a reference to both Challenge 4 and Challenge 5.
	The Stub	“I am The Stub. I have kept a list of all challengers who have fallen before me. Would you like to help by expanding it?”	"That's The Stub, one of King Sammer's legendary Sammer Guys… He often runs into tables.”	This article is a stub. You can help the Wiki Camp 2 by expanding it.
	Skeleton in Metal	"Three facts about me: I have both an exoskeleton and an endoskeleton! My name is Skeleton in Metal! And nobody has ever harmed my pristine body!"	"That's Skeleton in Metal, one of King Sammer's legendary Sammer Guys... He's pretty stuck-up."	His name is a reference to Skeletons in media.
	Luigi	"hi ii im my name is uh Luigi"	"HE'S NAME IS LUIGI"	His name is Luigi :)

6-2: Sammer's Early Duels

Image	Name	Quote	Tattle	Note
	Sammer 1	"I am Sammer 1! I will Won this battle! ...what do you mean that's not grammatically correct? shut up...."	"That's Sammer 1. He only does things once....Doesn't this mean he could only breathe once? Or maybe he's just taking one really big set of breaths..."	His name isn't a reference, but it might be brought up again in a slightly clever way later on.
	Tag Who Drag	"I am Tag Who Drag, the immovable boulder who blocks this gate! Ignore the…tag…on my shoe. I merely forgot to remove it. Because...I just bought them"	"That's Tag Who Drag, one of King Sammer's legendary Sammer Guys… Legend says he has a secret weak point, and he volunteers at dunk tanks”	His name is a reference to Template:Drag CSS
	Murder Man	"I am going to kill you."	"Hey this guy looks like Pin frmo BFDI. Like he's got the red top with the metal spike and everything. Fucked up?"	His name is not a reference to anything, unless you consider the concept of murder to be a reference. In which case, it is, to that.
	Michael Doomberg	"Halt! My name is Michael Doomberg, and my Link is fucking shnasty. Get with it."	"That's Michael Doomberg. I hear he runs a podcast with 'Sammer-spike'"	His name is a reference to Michael Bloomberg, of Michael Bloomberg fame.
	Sammerandomrai	"yOX? PsEv, HhkzYHmSXq"	"That's Sammerandomrai. I have no idea what he's fucking saying."	Yeah I genuinely don't know what he's saying either
	Warmonger Knight	They say if you find a job you like, you'll never work a day in your life. Well, you like beating Mario up with a big club. One of your favourite activities, really. You guess that means you don't work very hard, but it sure feels like work to you.	"That's Warmonger Knight. Be careful of his Ultimate Technique: WARSMASH! He hits you with his big club thing!	His name is a reference to the real life profession of fishmongers.

expand

The team sits around the table, a mixture of boredom and anticipation. Your club rests heavy on the table.

I really,

We know.

REALLY,

We know you wanna kill someONE!

want to kill somebody.

Whatever.

tuBETtMK

Oh my god.

I'm just saying.

No WONder we're only the second group Mario has to face. Everyone here sucks.

There's no use arguing with these Guys, but you do take slight offense to that.

It could be worse.

Yeah, by definition.

We could be working with Luigi.

WMlWFafCc, UwiJ

That's true.

I hate Luigi. I am going to kill him.

Any of y'all play Paladins?

You ask what the purpose of "playing" Paladins would be, when your weapons and holy goal make everyone here a paladin already.

I'm cracked at Androxus.

You're really good with it?

Uh... yeah.

I guess you could say...

You're a real WUNderkind!!!

...

cfIA

C'mon, you know, wunderkind? Like, one?

What does that mean?

You already know that a wunderkind means a child prodigy, or more broadly, someone who is very good at something naturally. You just don't say anything because you don't think Sammer 1's joke is worth acknowledging.

It means, like, someone who's good at something!

Oh.

So?

Man, I was so proud of that ONE......

I'm going to kill you.

gI, yLOqezGJqNjJHOJxDRAZl

6-3: Sammer's Proving Grounds

Image	Name	Quote	Tattle	Note
		"fuck you[im SO high!]"
	Spongebob Patrick	"Squidward Sandy Mr. Krabs Plankton Karen Pearl"	"Ms. Puff Larry Fred Bubble Buddy King Neptune"	The Paper Gary The Hash Slinging Slasher Nosferatu
	Guy with Glasses	"Just got my prescription! The world is so BEAUTIFUL!"	"You wouldn't hit a Guy with Glasses, would you?"	His name is a reference to how he is a Guy with Glasses.
	Suspicious Mirror	“Hi! I’m you! G'day, guardian of this gate. Gee, that sword sure looks pointy. Would you quit pointing that in my face. NO! I WILL NOT! er, YOU WILL NOT. No matter!”	“This is a Duplighost. Duplighosts disguise themselves as members of our party. Max HP: 15, Attack Power: 4, Defense Power: 0 They love to attack in disguise. It seems like they're generally stronger fighters when they're not disguised, though.”	He is a reference to You
	Mini Me	"Wow, Golf Ball! You look like a mini-me!"	"Wow, Golf Ball! You look like a mini-me!"	His name is a reference to how Wow, Golf Ball! You look like a mini-me!
	Sammerwhite	"Hey, I'm Sammerwhite. You know how some bunnies in the snow are white because it helps them camouflage themselves from predators? Well I do that toAND now I'm just realizing it doesn't snow hereFUCK."	"That's Sammerwhite. He drinks milk everyday, no matter how not thirsty he is."	His name is a reference to the fact that the color white exists.

6-4: Sammer's Endgame

Image	Name	Quote	Tattle	Note
	Sammer 2	"I am Sammer 2! Two-day I will kill you! MWHAHAHAHHAH!"	"That's Sammer 2. He only does things twice. Yes, he was born twice. Don't question it."	See, what did I tell you?
	Cage Above Lava	“In front of you stands Cage Above Lava. Choose your next moves carefully, as the wrong one will send you plunging towards an untimely demise. Turning back is not an option! Will you Accept defeat, Break down, or Crumble?”	"That's Cage Above Lava, one of King Sammer's legendary Sammer Guys… He likes watching detective dramas in his spare time.”	His name is a reference to a terrible, terrible decision.
	Sammer-Rice	"We are all pawns in the game of chess we call life, but enough ramble. Time for the grand finale! votes"	"That's Sammer-Rice. If you defeat him, you get rice! Or you can double the amount of Sammer-Rices and fight them for double the amount of the rice prize! ...or you could just head on forward to the next Sammer Guy."	His name is a reference to something you probably already got at this point.
	Evil Sammer Guy	"I AM EVIL SAMMER GUY! I AM EVIL! AHAHAHAH! OH HOW I AM EVIL! AHH HAHAH!"	"Oh geez, oh geez louise. That's Evil Sammer Guy. He's most well known for being evil, and creating the Youtube algorithim."	His name is a reference to the fact that you can be evil. Go on, try it! It's fun!
	Guy Sammer	"I am Sammer, guy of Sams."		This is a real sammer guy
	THE GOLDEN SAMMER GUY	"I AM THE FINAL SAMMER GUY, THE GOLDEN SAMMER GUY. I WILL BE THE ONE TO END YOUR JOURNEY."	"Dude can this guy like, shut the HELL up?"	h- he's made oiut of gold

Other residents

The Sammer Kingdom doesn't just have guards! There are many civilians you can see milling about the kingdom including:

• 100 dogs
  • 25 big dogs
  • 75 small dogs
• 100 cats
  • 99 big cats
  • 1 kitten
• 4 mice
  • 3 blind mice
  • 1 stirring mouse
• 1 king of tricks fox
  • ....
• 2 tadpoles
  • 1 green tadpole
  • 1 bloue.
• 7 rats
  • 6 normal rats
  • 1 large rat
• 100 hog
  • 99 united hogs
  • 1 hermit hog
• 2 pig
  • 1 little piggy to market
  • 1 piggy crying all the way home
• 3 horse
  • 2 race horse
  • 1 chill horse

Notes

Not to be confused with Kramer's Kingdom.

we're so sammers

Goofs

• The shirts they sell at the shop say "I GOT BEATEN UP BY A SAMMER IN SAMMER's KINGDOM" when they SHOULD say "I GOT BEATEN UP BY A SAMMER GUY IN SAMMER'S KINGDOM"
• Despite claims to the contrary, many of the Sammer Guys do seem to be references to external media or concepts.
  • This is theorized to be because The Divine Sammer is a talentless hack and is a bit dogshit.
• too many sammer guys :\ really padding out the game guys cmon
  • we already have like two pits of 100 trials did we really need this one
    • and all for some got damn cards!!?? fuck this game bro

Gallery

• 

  A photo taken of a tourist visiting Sammer's Kingdom.

• 

  One time this guy did this