Difference between revisions of "Animal Kingdom"

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  | label4 = Synonyms | data4 = {{Hlist|''Animalia''|''Metazoa''|''[[Synonyms for ratio|Proportion]]''}}
 
  | label4 = Synonyms | data4 = {{Hlist|''Animalia''|''Metazoa''|''[[Synonyms for ratio|Proportion]]''}}
 
  | header5 = [[Top 5 animals for beginners]]
 
  | header5 = [[Top 5 animals for beginners]]
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  | data6 = {{Ci|Paper Niko|50}}{{Ci|In a Nutshell|50}}{{Ci|Boni|50}}{{Ci|Dodgeball|50}}{{Ci|Nerpy Scuba|50}}
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  | data6 = [[File:pig voting icon.png|50px|link=Pig]][[File:laughing cow voting icon.png|50px|link=Cow]][[File:dog voting icon.png|50px|link=Dog]][[File:nina voting icon.png|50px|link=Cat]][[File:crouton voting icon.png|50px|link=Fish]]
 
}}
 
}}
 
The '''Animal Kingdom''' is [[Disney World|da jungle where all the animals are]] and there's a [[Tiger|big king lion]].{{wrong}}
 
The '''Animal Kingdom''' is [[Disney World|da jungle where all the animals are]] and there's a [[Tiger|big king lion]].{{wrong}}
 
<h2 style="display:none;">The Animal Kingdom</h2><h2 style="display:none;">The Animal Kingdom</h2><h2 style="display:none;">The Animal Kingdom</h2>
 
<h2 style="display:none;">The Animal Kingdom</h2><h2 style="display:none;">The Animal Kingdom</h2><h2 style="display:none;">The Animal Kingdom</h2>
 
== Etymology ==
 
== Etymology ==
βˆ’
Animal Kingdom may be a [[Combo|combination]] of ''animal'' and ''kingdom''. Contrary to popular belief, ''kingdom'' is actually a misnomer because animals [[Evolution|became smart after a while]].
+
Animal Kingdom may be a [[Combo|combination]] of ''[[animal]]'' and ''[[kingdom]]''. Contrary to popular belief, ''kingdom'' is actually a misnomer because animals [[Evolution|became smart after a while]].
  
 
<table style="border-spacing: 0; margin-bottom:1em;"><tr>
 
<table style="border-spacing: 0; margin-bottom:1em;"><tr>
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</tr></table>
 
</tr></table>
 
<h3 style="display:none;">The Animal Kingdom</h3>
 
<h3 style="display:none;">The Animal Kingdom</h3>
 +
 +
=== Entomology ===
 +
Entomology is the study of bugs, a type of animal, making it a viable career path in the Animal Kingdom.
 +
 +
==== Etymology ====
 +
Entomology comes from the ancient [[Greece|Greek]] word "''entomon''", a type of [[Digimon]], and "-ology", meaning loggy πŸ₯Ί.
 +
 
== Biology ==
 
== Biology ==
 
{{Main|Animal}} {{Multiple image|header=Animals have the capacity for|width=100|caption_align=center|image1=Niko2.png|caption1=[[Epic|Empathy]]|image2=Nikosus.png|caption2=[[Evil|Cruelty]]|footer=Some say there exists [[some other third thing]], but it remains to be seen.}}
 
{{Main|Animal}} {{Multiple image|header=Animals have the capacity for|width=100|caption_align=center|image1=Niko2.png|caption1=[[Epic|Empathy]]|image2=Nikosus.png|caption2=[[Evil|Cruelty]]|footer=Some say there exists [[some other third thing]], but it remains to be seen.}}
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}}
 
}}
 
}}
 
}}
βˆ’
Animals are the only animals to have a [[brain]]. And even then, the loathsome [[jelly]][[fish]] lacks one. With a brain, animals are capable of many things, such as [[emotions]], fear of [[death]], and [[The Toy Where You Put The Shape In The Corresponding HoIe|problem-solving]].{{clear}}
+
Animals are the only animals to have a [[brain]]. And even then, the loathsome [[jelly]][[fish]] lacks one. With a brain, animals are capable of many things, such as [[emotions]], fear of [[death]], and [[The Toy Where You Put The Shape In The Corresponding HoIe|problem-solving]]. However, it's amazing that the animal body can live without the frontal lobe, you know.
 +
 
 
<h2 style="display:none;">The Animal Kingdom</h2>
 
<h2 style="display:none;">The Animal Kingdom</h2>
 
== History ==
 
== History ==
βˆ’
[[File:What kind of gamer are you.png|200px|thumb|right]]
+
[[File:What kind of gamer are you.png|200px|thumb|right|Are you old enough to remember this?]]
 
The Animal Kingdom was wished upon a [[star]], willed into existence by an [[Stuff Blowing Up|explosion]] most twee. It was the youngest of the [[Challenge 9: The Seven Kingdoms|the Seven Kingdoms]], out-eldered by the [[Bacteria Kingdom]], [[Archaea Kingdom]], [[Protozoa Kingdom]], [[Chromista Kingdom]], [[Plant Kingdom]], and [[Fungus Kingdom]]. Those first four are all useless specks ([[germ]]s), so frankly they're basically the [[Puny Kingdom]]s.
 
The Animal Kingdom was wished upon a [[star]], willed into existence by an [[Stuff Blowing Up|explosion]] most twee. It was the youngest of the [[Challenge 9: The Seven Kingdoms|the Seven Kingdoms]], out-eldered by the [[Bacteria Kingdom]], [[Archaea Kingdom]], [[Protozoa Kingdom]], [[Chromista Kingdom]], [[Plant Kingdom]], and [[Fungus Kingdom]]. Those first four are all useless specks ([[germ]]s), so frankly they're basically the [[Puny Kingdom]]s.
  
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The Animal Kingdom is notable for its glorious invention of predation. While stupid plants and algae make their own food, some wise guy had the bright idea to just eat other things instead. Predation has the advantage of seeing badass [[blood]] and killing. The lowest peasantry of the Animal Kingdom selflessly sacrifice their potential energy to the cake layer above in some sort of scheme. Modern technology cannot easily render triangles on the web, so the dorito above has been stripped to its bare essentials. As shown, the king sits at the very top, reaping the additional benefit of accumulating all sneaky heavy metals and microplastics found in the lower levels.  
 
The Animal Kingdom is notable for its glorious invention of predation. While stupid plants and algae make their own food, some wise guy had the bright idea to just eat other things instead. Predation has the advantage of seeing badass [[blood]] and killing. The lowest peasantry of the Animal Kingdom selflessly sacrifice their potential energy to the cake layer above in some sort of scheme. Modern technology cannot easily render triangles on the web, so the dorito above has been stripped to its bare essentials. As shown, the king sits at the very top, reaping the additional benefit of accumulating all sneaky heavy metals and microplastics found in the lower levels.  
 
</div>
 
</div>
 +
 +
==== Agriculture ====
 +
To sustain such worldly ravenous beasts, the Animal Kingdom has developed a highly sophisticated form of agriculture. [[Rain]], nature's irrigator, is frequently used to water fields of crops. Animals also developed '''crop stagnation''', which is like crop rotation except every rotation jumps a full cycle, leaving the crops where they were at the start. This has the benefit of basically speeding up the whole process.
 +
 +
After [[Template:Harvest theater|harvest]], the animals that worked hard at farming are given a great [[reward]] by those higher up the hierarchy: a glorious bath! The baths take place in large cauldron-like tubs filled with water heated by an [[open]] flame, and some of the crops harvested are chopped up and added to the bath to symbolically represent the fruits of the bathers' labor. Other worker benefits include a whole [[apple]] applied directly to mouth, herbal treatments involving salt and [[Copper Pepper|pepper]], and ''permanent'' vacation.
  
 
=== Taboos ===
 
=== Taboos ===
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The number [[7]] is considered unlucky in the Animal Kingdom. No one knows why. This avoidance of the number seven produces s*veral quirks, such as animals avoiding having seven legs, or animals abstaining from working on all seven days of the week.
 
The number [[7]] is considered unlucky in the Animal Kingdom. No one knows why. This avoidance of the number seven produces s*veral quirks, such as animals avoiding having seven legs, or animals abstaining from working on all seven days of the week.
  
βˆ’
== Population ==
+
== Population<ref>Growing</ref> ==
 +
As of the 2010 census:
 
*100 dogs
 
*100 dogs
 
** 25 big dogs
 
** 25 big dogs
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**1 rooster/chicken
 
**1 rooster/chicken
 
**1 <s>not a real bird</s> greater sage-grouse
 
**1 <s>not a real bird</s> greater sage-grouse
 +
*1 [[Mark Genuine|this thing...]]
 +
 +
 +
== See also ==
 +
 +
* [[Animal Tier List]]
 +
* [[Animal of the day]]
 +
* [[Animal Crossing: New Leaf]]
 +
 
== Reference Kingdom ==
 
== Reference Kingdom ==
 
<h1 style="display:none;">The Animal Kingdom</h1>
 
<h1 style="display:none;">The Animal Kingdom</h1>

Latest revision as of 01:04, 29 April 2024

Animal Kingdom
Cambrian explosion.jpg
NATURE IS LOWKEY AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL.....
Scientific classification
Domainrectangle.zone
LocationThe House of Mouse, Florida
Synonyms
Top 5 animals for beginners
Pig voting icon.pngLaughing cow voting icon.pngDog voting icon.pngNina voting icon.pngCrouton voting icon.png

The Animal Kingdom is da jungle where all the animals are and there's a big king lion.[wrong]

The Animal Kingdom

The Animal Kingdom

The Animal Kingdom

Etymology

Animal Kingdom may be a combination of animal and kingdom. Contrary to popular belief, kingdom is actually a misnomer because animals became smart after a while.

BOWGE.png
Sb-arrow.png
But together...We can make it a queendom!!

The Animal Kingdom

Entomology

Entomology is the study of bugs, a type of animal, making it a viable career path in the Animal Kingdom.

Etymology

Entomology comes from the ancient Greek word "entomon", a type of Digimon, and "-ology", meaning loggy πŸ₯Ί.

Biology

Main article: Animal
Animals have the capacity for
Empathy
Cruelty
Some say there exists some other third thing, but it remains to be seen.

Members of the Animal Kingdom typically exhibit the following characteristics:

  1. They are multicellular eukaryotes, the lot of them
  2. Their cells lack a nice and firm exterior wall
  3. They have free will

Beyond this, animals vary wildly. While most animals have a backbone, fur, milk production, an enlarged brain, and upright bipedalism, the others are not so lucky. The first animals were underwater and thus very wet, but eventually evolved the sensibility to get dry. To this day, all animals are either wet xor dry.

Sample taxonomy
Animalia
Animals of all shapes and sizes roam the Animal Kingdom.

Animals are the only animals to have a brain. And even then, the loathsome jellyfish lacks one. With a brain, animals are capable of many things, such as emotions, fear of death, and problem-solving. However, it's amazing that the animal body can live without the frontal lobe, you know.

The Animal Kingdom

History

Are you old enough to remember this?

The Animal Kingdom was wished upon a star, willed into existence by an explosion most twee. It was the youngest of the the Seven Kingdoms, out-eldered by the Bacteria Kingdom, Archaea Kingdom, Protozoa Kingdom, Chromista Kingdom, Plant Kingdom, and Fungus Kingdom. Those first four are all useless specks (germs), so frankly they're basically the Puny Kingdoms.

The first resident of the Animal Kingdom was the humble peanut. It was sad and a little pathetic, but one thing led to another and the Animal Kingdom soon found its footing in a future blessed by smartphones and technology.

Post-History

Also known as the Future, the path ahead for Animal Kingdom remains all but uncertain. Eggheads predict that in just the next 10 years, over 99% of all animal life will go kaput. Due to the danger. Following such catastrophic collapse, the remaining animals will have to band together into an unlikely ragtag group of heroes to bring da freakin' animals back. Are you up to the challenge?

Super-Distant Future

The Super-Distant Future takes place over 30 million years after the Future. So many things could change in such a short amount of time. It is possible that animals of that age will be unrecognizable to us, if they exist at all. Whatever intelligent life remains will communicate in an indecipherable manner, saying things like "Honey, have you seen my iPhone 378? I need it to preorder my PS6."

Legal system and governance

The Animal Kingdom operates by the Law of the Jungle. The biggest animal is the king (typically a lion, though sometimes a rat). Whatever the king says, goes.

TPIsabelle DivineHeart.png
The king often delegates taxes and other meaningless work to a secretary. Not unlike a certain The Divine Goddess...🀫
Ah! The king has a shy guest at the door...

Heads of state

Heads of state by lineage 
Name Position Years Notes
Peanut King 574000000 BCE – 573999999 BCE Despite being a paltry thing, Peanut was King by default.
Peanut Jr. King 573999999 BCE – 573999972 BCE Same size as Peanut, but assumed the throne via regicide.
Felidae-Huh? MRCA King 573999972 BCE – 573999900 BCE The most recent common ancestor of the genus Felidae and Huh?
The Vole Regent 573999900 BCE – 573999898 BCE The Vole was the interim ruler after the passing of the FH?MRCA.
N/A N/A 573999898 BCE – 46 BCE World plunged into anarchical rule due to mishandling by The Vole, monarchy absent.
Caesar Dictator for Life 46 BCE – 44 BCE Stabbed.
Elephant Andy King 44 BCE – 32 BCE Rule returned to biggest animal.
Elephant Earl King 32 BCE – 24 BCE
Elephant Paul King 24 BCE – 2 CE
Elephant Tonia King 2 CE – 30 CE
Elephant von Bark King 30 CE – 33 CE
Whale King 33 CE – 105 CE End of Elephant rule
Whale II King 105 CE – 168 CE
Whale III King 168 CE – 254 CE Problematic (see callout post here)
Whale IV King 254 CE – 310 CE
Whale V King 310 CE – 378 CE
Girl Whale Queen 378 CE – 512 CE
Lion King 512 CE – present Figurehead. The actual king remains a topic of spirited debate.

Hierarchy

If you know, you know. If you don't, then, well...see Animal Kingdom § Cuisine for more...🀫

The Animal Kingdom

Culture

The Animal Kingdom is like a family.[1] Everybody knows everybody.

Cuisine

Animal Kingdom cuisine is distinguished by its heavy use of berries, peas, eggs, honey, and cheese.

Cook book 
Food Genre Ingredients Preparation
Cheese + Berry Soup Soup
  • Cheese
  • Berries
  • Water
  • Heat
 Prepare water to boil. After the first precious bubble pops, add cheese and berries. Stir for 1 minute, then serve hot.
CheeseBerry Soup Bar Gelatinous bar
  • Cheese + Berry Soup
  • Powdered sugar
  • Cold
 Prepare CheeseBerry Soup. Pour into rectangular mold, then let sit in refrigerated cupboard overnight. Serve with powdered sugar.
Berry My Surprise Shocking
  • Berries
  • Veil
 Gather berries and prepare in a dish. Cover dish with opaque veil, preferably black. Once served, remove veil to discover which berries were chosen.
Egg Egg Humor
  • Eggs (variable)
 Discover nest or burrow with eggs. Swallow eggs whole, then escape to avoid retaliation by egg-layer.
Honey-dipped Pea Mush Mushy
  • Peas (10 minimum)
  • Honey
 Place peas into mortar, or is it the pestle. Use pestle, or is it the mortar, to grind peas into fine mush. Grind until peas lose all individuality. Eat by hand, dipping mush into cup of honey.
Heart of the Storm Shocking
  • Heart
  • Liquid mercury
  • Baking soda
 Soak heart in liquid mercury for 20 minutes to make conductive. Once saturated, place heart outside on an elevated surface during a lightning storm. Once struck, retrieve heart and coat in baking soda. Let simmer overday in direct sunlight. Serve in diced cubes.
Bread Common
  • Wheat
  • Yeast
  • Water
  • Heat
 Grind wheat into flour, then add to water to make a squishy dough. Add yeast to make the dough alive, then kill dough with high heat in an oven. Stop baking once bread has risen and turned a golden brown.
Toast Uncommon
  • Bread
  • Coil
 Continuing from process of making bread, place bread slice on superheated metal coil. Pick a number between 1-9.

97 year old bread.png

Remove slice once appearance matches number. One's gotta go πŸ˜‚.

Agriculture

To sustain such worldly ravenous beasts, the Animal Kingdom has developed a highly sophisticated form of agriculture. Rain, nature's irrigator, is frequently used to water fields of crops. Animals also developed crop stagnation, which is like crop rotation except every rotation jumps a full cycle, leaving the crops where they were at the start. This has the benefit of basically speeding up the whole process.

After harvest, the animals that worked hard at farming are given a great reward by those higher up the hierarchy: a glorious bath! The baths take place in large cauldron-like tubs filled with water heated by an open flame, and some of the crops harvested are chopped up and added to the bath to symbolically represent the fruits of the bathers' labor. Other worker benefits include a whole apple applied directly to mouth, herbal treatments involving salt and pepper, and permanent vacation.

Taboos

Taboos are a set of faux pas (lit. "fake paws") in a society that get you cancelled for doing. Taboos in the Animal Kingdom include:

Taxidermy

Taxidermy is the process of stuffing a dead animal silly. Unlike the noble teddy bear, taxidermy aims for realism over stylization. Thus, taxidermy is frowned upon and even blacklisted due to a lack of soul.

Murder

In the Animal Kingdom, murder is actually frowned upon, as it goes against the local sacred tenet of "𒁃", which means "to live". Don't get it twisted with predation, that's fine.

7

The number 7 is considered unlucky in the Animal Kingdom. No one knows why. This avoidance of the number seven produces s*veral quirks, such as animals avoiding having seven legs, or animals abstaining from working on all seven days of the week.

Population[3]

As of the 2010 census:

  • 100 dogs
    • 25 big dogs
    • 75 small dogs
    • 10 medium dogs
    • 10 medium antidogs
  • 100 cats
    • 99 big cats
    • 1 kitten
  • 4 mice
    • 3 blind mice
    • 1 stirring mouse
  • 1 king of tricks fox
    • ....
  • 2 tadpoles
  • 3 bears
  • 10,000 rats
    • 7 associated rats
      • 6 normal rats
      • 1 large rat
    • 9,993 unaffiliated rats
  • 100 hog
    • 99 united hogs
    • 1 hermit hog
  • 2 pig
    • 1 little piggy to market
    • 1 piggy crying all the way home
  • 3 horse
    • 2 race horse
    • 1 chill horse
  • 9 birds
    • 1 rock pigeon
    • 1 flamingo
    • 1 pheasant guinea fowl siamese fireback
    • 1 peacock
    • 1 chicken
    • 1 marabou roseate spoonbill
    • 1 penguin
    • 1 rooster/chicken
    • 1 not a real bird greater sage-grouse
  • 1 this thing...


See also

Reference Kingdom

The Animal Kingdom

  1. ↑ ERRATA: Family is below kingdom, cladistically.
  2. ↑ Weather Machines were recently ordered under Animalia following intense debate
  3. ↑ Growing
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