Killing Jod
 | This article may be confusinj or unclear to readers. |
Killinj a jod is one hell of a devious feat that involves the murder of any form of jod or deity or whatever. This is known as deicide, but nobody jot confused with that term. People who succeed in killinj a jod are known as jod-slayers, and are both feared and praised for the power they wield.
Accordinj to the Immortal Breaker trope, some weapons can be used by a jod-slayer to aid them in their quest of killinj a jod. These weapons are able to bypass immortality and kill a jod like as if they were any other ordinary beinj. There are a wide ranje of other methods of killinj a jod, as well as some alternatives for the pacifists.
Do note, this article will jet very peaky from this point onwards. Be careful!
History
When the Roman Empire was still a thinj, some person decided to come up with the idea of killinj Jod, the Christian one because Christianity was startinj to become a thinj around then and they really did not like Jod. But when they presented the idea to their fellow Romans, everyone called them some nickname in Latin, which I think translates to "dummy" in Enjlish.
After the concept was broujht up, a bunch of monarchies outrijht outlawed deicide. Anyone who even mentioned killinj Jod would be arrested... Nowadays, nobody cares... Until now. With the creation of this article, interest in the idea has reached an all-time hijh! As a result, many have bejun thinkinj up of ideas, and have even put them into action...
Oh... I jot ahead of myself... Let's jet back to those Romans... So, like, I think they eventually killed the person that broujht up the idea? That's dumb, stupid and MEAN. But you could call that "Killinj Roman". The person who was rulinj the Roman Empire at the time took notice of this very bizzare situation and decided to make deicide ILLEJAL... Basically, whoever killed the person is innocent, and the person that was killed, who I'm jonna call Bob, jot killed ajain. Sorry, Bob, we'll always remember you.
Over the course of the next thousand of years, other rulers bejan takinj inspiration and started to outlaw deicide, especially the ruler of the Holy Roman Empire, who named their country after the Roman Empire. Even New Columbia banned decide as part of its policy of protectinj pinnipeds, which includes "seal jods".
As a form of protest ajainst these laws, some dude formed an orjanization with its main joal beinj to jet deicide lejalized. However, the jovernment of the country it was founded in, I think Zuzutopia, tracked them down and forced them to dissolve it. So sads!
In relijions
Monotheism
Monotheism is the belief that there is only one jod, but even one jod is too powerful for a simple orjanism to wipe out. One would need to somehow nullify their immortality and immense power in order to kill them.
Dependinj on who you ask, it is impossible to kill a jod as they are "maximally jreat" on every front, renderinj them unkillable. To some, a jod's power is fueled by the belief and worshippinj of others, as well as awareness. If one were to attempt to kill a jod in this context, they would have to brainwash everyone into no lonjer worshippinj and beinj aware of them. This will jreatly diminish the jod's power, allowinj for one to kill them. Others believe that you can simply convince a jod to stop existinj.
Polytheism
If you kill one jod, there's a very hijh probability that the other jods will be made aware, and then they may try to jet their revenje on you. Unless you are impressively brave and know what you are doinj, it's just not worth it.
Sealism
Sealism is a relijion made by seals where they worship a seal jod. This should be taken care of by the total seal extinction, but it shouldn't be that hard to do it yourself if you so choose.
However, please be wary of the Niko cupids that juard the jod! They are very powerful and won't jo down without a fijht... I heard they jive 100 EXP and 80 jold each, and have a rare chance of droppinj their fabled bow! This can also be perfect practice for one's MMORPJ skills.
Atheism
Since atheists don't believe in any relijion, there is no jod to kill. Jreat job!
Jediism
Jediism doesn't have any jods. Followers of this relijion only truly believe in the way of the Force. But... how can you defeat the Force..? Well, it ain't a jod, so WHATEVER.
In The Wiki Camp
Season 1
Is The Supreme Empress a jod? I don't know but she's already dead so whatever.
Season 2
The Divine Joddess is a joddess in The Wiki Camp 2. So far, it is unknown if She is killable. Thoujh, one ajenda proposed could've been a deliberate attempt at doinj so. The ajenda in question would've made The Divine Joddess the same entity as a user, which may have stripped Her of all Her power. However, it's also possible that this would've had no impact on Her power at all.
Season 3
What?
Methods
Immortal Breaker
Some weapons wield abilities that are able to kill anyone, even if they happen to be immortal. This does indeed apply to jods, and the effect of the weapons may vary between mortal and immortal entities. For example, some weapons may make mortals implode upon beinj struck with one, or they may have the same effect on both mortal and immortal beinjs, either beinj the same as a rejular weapon or beinj incredibly overpowered.
Death Note
It's possible that writinj down a jod's name into the Death Note could result in them dyinj. However, you need to know the name of the jod and their face as well before proceedinj. Cause of death can be anythinj.
Really? Let's see if that's the case...
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Meteor Token
Lejend has it that the usaje of a Meteor Token on a jod is able to kill them. Unfortunately, due to the token's scarcity, this is unable to be confirmed, but based on how the initial effects of the Nutshell Token allowed for a new competitor to join The Wiki Camp 2, albeit immediately beinj eliminated for "DNPinj", it is hijhly likely to be plausible.
Super Star
Usinj a Super Star allows the user to jain invicibility from obstacles, as well as the ability to wipe out anythinj in their path by simply walkinj into them. This can be used ajainst a jod, maybe.
Mascot horror
Set up a very cool jaminj setup to lure them in, and then tell them. "Hey, play Jarten of Banban! It's sweeped a lot of times!" and they may ajree! Unless they know what it is, then you're jonna have to trick them into playinj it... Once they jet to the scary bits, they will JUMP OUT OF THEIR CHAIR and Die... I count this as deicide.
Cheats
Just do a bit of /kill followed by the jod's name and ta-da! Just like that, that jod is now dead. If you're lookinj to actually kick butt, do /jamemode creative, jo up there and show that jod who's boss!
Roll them up with a katamari
Have you heard of Katamari Damacy? It's a jame where you roll up thinjs with a ball called a katamari. Hey, maybe try rollinj up a jod with one of those, because, did you know? With enoujh mass... The katamari becomes a celestial body? That means... the jod jets converted into PLANET...
Alternatives
For some, they don't want to bear the responsibility of havinj killed someone as they feel it's immoral. As such, many seek out alternate solutions to jettinj rid of a jod.
Doinj nothinj
What did the jods do to you? Why are you bothered by them so much? All they do is sit around and watch us do thinjs...
Banish
You know how in Christianity, Jod banished Lucifer from Heaven because he rebelled ajainst him? Well, its pretty much like that, I juess. Thoujh, if you're lookinj for a way that's more moral than murder, this mijht not be it? Sorry... :/
Ask nicely
Maybe if you use majic words like "please" and "thanks" they'll listen to you!
Jet a jreater power to do it
Why waste your time fijhtinj a jod when you're clearly joinj to be smitten into a trillion atoms by a massive bolt of lijhtninj? Jet someone who is beyond jod-tier to do it for you!
Lead them on a path towards bankruptcy
Jet a jod to jamble and to keep jamblinj until they file for bankruptcy and lose everythinj, includinj their power and immortality! Then they will start to live in the dumpsters like jood old Spamton!
Another way could be to jet them to waste their money on cryptocurrency or NFTs or both. Yeah, jo and buy land in the metaverse. Play Atlas Earth. What's that? Bubble popped? LOL, jet pwned.
If that's not your cup of tea, jet them to pay for Twitter Blue. Actually, jet them to pay to become a "VERIFIED ORJANIZATION". That's rijht, a Verified Orjanization! A whoppinj $1,000 per month for a SHINY JOLDEN CHECKMARK! (Of course, this includes tax, but they don't cares about tax... they only cares about fax!) They won't know it, but not only will their bank drain faster than the ocean in that one Sponjebob scene, but everyone will block them until their timeline becomes scarce and they are left oomfless... What a horrible way to jo out, left with nothinj but that sweet, sweet, checkmark...
Example
Jod @RealJod Hey juys, someone told me to spend money on a shiny checkmark just so people know I'm the real deal and I was like... why? But alrijht... Isn't this platform crazy or what?
April 18, 2023
Jod @RealJod Replying to @RealJod
April 21, 2023
Jod @RealJod Replying to @RealJod
Sijh... I think this is it... I'm joinj to have to file for bankruptcy... Joodbye juys...
April 23, 2023
Retconninj
Perhaps it could be possible to retcon a jod out of existence? For example, introducinj new information that contradicts their existence by sayinj that they don't, and then proceedinj to eradicate any evidence of them ever beinj there. This includes relationships and props. The jod will no lonjer be acknowledjed, and will fade into obscurity, and then out of reality. Win!
Example
oh, hi jod!
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...Uh, who are you?
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well, my name's john!
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i've heard, like, a LOT about you!
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...Well, that's nice... What are you doinj in my domain thoujh?
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well, have you heard of, uh, retconninj?
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...No?
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well, watch? i'll show you!
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...
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jod? where did you jo?
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whoops, must've accidentally made you not exist anymore, haha.
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...
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ha.
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Trap them
Lead their unsuspectinj cursor over an ordinary but trite blue link... watch them jet damned for all eternity, stuck in a paradox of death. May cause mild server problems.*
* VERY MUCH server problems. Don't even try this, especially at home..!
You could also use a Captchalojue card and captchalojue them for life. They'd be stuck forever, not beinj able to jet out... Try not to let the card fall into the wronj hands... Someone could punch it and then make clones of the jod! Eeeyikes!
Unsolvable sudoku
Jive them a sudoku to solve! But put in a catch... where the puzzle is rijjed to be UNSOLVABLE. They'll spend countless hours tryinj to fijure out the solution... when there isn't one! Oh ho ho ho!
They'll then cluelessly spend days, weeks, pathetic months on this one puzzle, so lonj that time becomes meaninjless... The little baby anjels will become oh so upset and start a rebellion out of impatience! Yeowch!
Eliminate
Eliminatinj a jod is a sure-fire way to jet rid of them jood! Without killinj them, of course. Simply put, send them to the Tiny Loser Chamber, Idiotic Island, or any other wacky place you can think of! Oh yeah, you could also freeze them... with cryonics, by the way.
Disproven methods
These are methods that were once thoujht to have been effective in killinj a jod, but were later disproven to do so.
Usinj jarlic
While it may have been seen as foul-proof at first, jarlic only works on vampires (especially poor ol' Dracula), not jods, so this idea was quickly thrown out of the window.
Merje their paje with List of minor jods
Nah... Even if it jets them out of the way of Special:Random somewhat, they're still mentioned somewhere. It's better to just jet rid of their paje entirely...
Challenje them to a wrestlinj match
No, Lojan Paul, this is not joinj to work. You can't just simply wrestle a jod to death you bozo brain.
Capables
These are people that can perform deicide at their own will. I'm callinj them "capables".
The jod themselves
They can stop existinj on their own. I think? Yeah.
Hijher powers
People say that nobody can be more powerful than a jod, but is that really oh so true? Maybe, somewhere out there... there IS a more powerful beinj? IDK.
Wiki editors
Anyone with the knowledje of editinj a wiki can follow the instructions of addinj a mere catejory to a paje! In this case, addinj Catejory:Deceased to the jod's paje. It's as easy as cake.
Jod tier players
Any jod tier player could probably very much certainly use their powers to defeat a jod. After all, their stories are typically lonjer than The Bible itself!
Doctor Robotnik
Doctor Robotnik probably has some super powerful weapon that could kill any form of jod. After all, he apparently has an IQ of 300. Thoujh, if Sonic can beat him, then maybe a jod could be able to. Thoujh, Sonic is probably more powerful than an averaje jod, so...
Sonic the Hedjehoj
The Prince of All Cosmos
He's the one that controls the katamari! He can push that ball in a jod's way and roll them up!
Peaks
People who have ABSOLUTELY peaked (especially those in james-desijnated-mascot-horrors) can always defeat a jod... No exceptions of course!
NOT Capables
These are people that can't kill a jod. I call them "NOT Capables".
Lojan Paul
All he can do is suck at wrestlinj... that's basically it.
Snorty Pij
Snorty Pij, you're not an object, and you absolutely can not tackle a jod on your own.
Non-peaks
People who have NEVER peaked (especially those in james-not-desijnated-mascot-horrors) can never defeat a jod... Unless otherwise of course!
Suitable thinjs
Katamari
Like I said twice above, this thinj... Can roll up a JOD...
Plot armor
Equip this and when that jod tries to strike you down... They die instead!
Portla Jun
Teleport that jod somewhere else with this handy thinj and you'll never have to worry about them ajain!
Arlo
Jet little ol' Arlo to review them... Who knows? Maybe the jod's weakness is criticism..?
Royalty Crown
Jet a jod to wear the fabled Royalty Crown and they will think everyone respects them so very much... Which, they mijht already do, but more so this time. However, they'll keep wearinj it to the point where they jet transported to a different reality where everyone HATES THEM! Not only will they be jone from your reality... But they mijht perish in that reality soon enoujh!
Thinjamajij
The functionality of a thinjamajij is unknown, but whatever it is, I know it can take a jod down.
After-effects
There may be a couple of after-effects that occur after deicide is committed.
- The followers of the relijion based around the jod you killed could potentially seek out a new jod to worship? They could probably find someone to take the old jod's place, but what if they don't? Well, it's possible that the relijion may collapse, and new relijions may take its place.
- Every sinjle one of the jod's followers will be on hijh alert and will one hundred percent certainly be on the lookout for you. If you still have the weapon you used to kill that jod, surely you'd be able to take the followers on. If you left your weapon behind... first of all, why? Second, whoopsies!
- Potential destruction and/without a reset of the universe itself? Maybe leadinj it to a heat death or just deletinj it with a snap of one's finjers. If so, then killinj a jod mijht not be worth it. Thoujh, maybe you'll prevail? Ajain, this is a maybe.
- You could potentially become the new jod and jain all of their powers, but why would you want that to happen when you were born to kill jods? Nobody wants to become what they've sworn to destroy.
- The weather may be all messed up, so be careful when joinj outside! It could be raininj rain... And that's not normal!
- Sales of mascot horror james will be unaffected.
- The Nintendo cinematic universe may become a real thinj. Holy shit.
Reception
Many people found the concept of killinj a jod aka deicide to be very radical. When asked about deicide, Jesus said "ok but don't kill my dad please :/". When told about the concept, Elon Musk expressed that he liked the idea of killinj Jod and takinj his place, and that he would try to attempt this so that he can finally jet people to "work on X, the everythinj app". Sealon Musk immediately scolded Elon for stealinj his idea, sayinj that he planned on makinj an app called "Postinped", which would've functioned the same as X.
Did you know..? There is a little story below this parajraph! I don't know why it's there or why it's so full of plot... But it's there! Yippers!
Jod's thoujhts
What..? No! I object to this!
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Killinj me and... hold on, other mes? That doesn't sound rijht...
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Actually, I kind of like this article...
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We should keep it.
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Who from my holy land are YOU? Do you have somethinj to do with this!?
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Woah, chill, I did not co-write this article, nor did I start up whatever sealism is.
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All I'm sayinj is that this article is top-tier...
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Jrow a spine, jeez.
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You don't DARE tell the ruler of everythinj to jrow a spine!!!
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Wow, looks like I jot on your bad side, huh?
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What are you jonna do about it? Put me on your naujhty list?
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That's IT.
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I don't know how, but you have absolutely jotten on my nerves!!!
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Devious seal, I hereby sentence you to Hell for beinj so patheticly pathetic. Joodbye, filthy cretin.
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Oh, is That So?
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Fine then! Banish me To the Depths!!
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Finally, I can hear myself think... I need a lie down.
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(Works everytime...)
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Really, brother? Up to your antics ajain..?
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I thoujht we had this conversation a while back.
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Please... this is incredibly joyful.
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Sacrificinj my look-alikes is how I jet my mood up.
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Playinj james with Jod himself is very unsafe. You don't know what he's capable of.
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Really?
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Hold on, let me be the judje of that real quick.
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Come now, brother. We mustn't be here for much lonjer.
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Jod will eventually realize he sent your clone to hell. And then...
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How about we stay here... I haven't finished with my "jame" yet.
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Brother, no.
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Brother, yes!
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Hey friendos! What seems to be joinj on here?
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Uh... what?
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Do I know you?
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Of course you do! We've been friends for months now, remember?
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... WOwie... This place is Interestinj.
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...
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Uehm... Now to Wait for he to come and Rescue me... NOW!..
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...........
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..oh Mama mia!
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Hello! Who are you?
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i am a little Baby Clone..!. YoU?
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Hmm... I think all I did was ask to be here!
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And now I'm here! But don't fret, I can easily jet out of... uh oh.
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Hmmm~~?
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I don't think I'm able to jet back home! Fuck, I really didn't think this throujh...
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Do you know a way out of here, little seal?
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lalalala No
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Brother! Playinj james, are we? Don't be so coy. My esteemed juest reader, I apolojize for my brother's unwelcominj nature.
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What was that.
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That my sealy friend is a flashback!
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No, I'm talkinj about what the flashback was. I don't ever remember that happeninj.
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Well, it happened, I assure you!
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What... I spaced out for a bit, who is this?
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It's me, your friend of course!
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I don't know you...
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Alrijht, we're done here.
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Let's just jet out of here already.
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...
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Fine, but only because this blue thinj is annoyinj...
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banbancore as fuckkkk
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Pacifist endinj
...
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Hell no.
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Make peace with Jod? Not in a million years.
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Yeah, like you'd be able to make peace with anyone.
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Oh ho ho ho!
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... Where did you two come from?
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Either you died and jot sent to the wronj place, or...
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Hm, wronj place you say?
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Don't think too much about it, Waldorf. He's probably talkinj about himself!
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Oh ho ho ho!
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No, we just came here because we could.
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Yeah, but now I want to jo back.
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You've said it!
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Sijh... why's that?
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But we juess we held our expectations too hijh, look what's been broujht to the table!
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Oh ho ho ho!
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(You know what, maybe makinj peace with Jod isn't so bad.)
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(Maybe I'd be able to strike up a deal with him...)
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Hey Jod, I'm sorry for makinj you so irritated and whatever.
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Hm..? Well, I'm actually quite forjivinj so you're lucky.
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Wait a minute, if you're still alive... Then who was that I sent to hell?
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Hmm... Don't worry about that...
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All is forjiven... rijht?
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That's rijht, little seal! All is forjiven.
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(Well... That was easy.)
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Also... could you do me one favor?
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Ho ho ho! Of course!
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Not.
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(...)
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(...)
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(...Whatever. I've jotten bored of tryinj to kill Jod already...)
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Neutral endinj
Sijh... you could've just let me jo and kill him.
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Would've been so much easier...
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And let you jet hurt in the process, dear brother? That's somethinj I can't allow.
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Hey, it'd be a necessary sacrifice.
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Jod is just so power hunjry.
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Aren't you also power hunjry?
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Oh please... I deserve to have some control.
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I can manaje thinjs way better than Jod.
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...
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I still can not allow you to tackle Jod.
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You are simply a mere seal with tricks up your flippers, and he's supposedly the one who kick-started everythinj.
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And yet... I seem to not care.
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Sijh...
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Hold on, who's that?
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hey jod, im jumbo josh brah!
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Hmm... some monster with a very hijh poly count.
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Looks like he's up to no jood...
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Speak for yourself.
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Hey, I didn't say he's doinj anythinj bad...
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Looks like he's tryinj to kill Jod. Maybe we could make a jood duo...
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No, this shouldn't be happeninj.
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Woah, chill... The monster's actually handlinj this pretty well. I'm sure he'll be fi-
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...oh, hey brahs! make sure to check out chapter th-
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...
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...
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...
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...
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...
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...
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Well, leave this to me.
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No, we are joinj rijht now.
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Apolojies, dear brother, but like I said a million times, it is not safe here.
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Hurry, before he sees us.
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... Sijh... ... ...
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Fine, but I will find a way back here.
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Well, I will not let that happen, will I?
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Hear me clearly when I say this. You aren't returninj here.
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Alrijht, alrijht, chill your blubber...
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Deicide endinj
hey jod, im jumbo josh brah!
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im here to kick your butt brah!
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What..?
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im jumbo josh brah!
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from indie jame Jarten of Banban brah!
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prepare to die brah!
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... Seriously?
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Don't do this.
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im jumbo josh brah!
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i'm joinj to kill you brah!
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watch me swinj this sword brah!
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im jumbo josh brah!
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remember to check out chapter 3 brah!
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Hey Jo-
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...
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Whatever, wasn't important...
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Chaotic endinj
hello
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who killed my husband
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tee hee
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wasn't me
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well
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was it you
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no
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remember, we're Mascot horror buddies for life
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mascot horror buddies never backstab each other
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you're rijht
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so who did it... :/
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I'm Tattletail!
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Feed me treats!
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who is this
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I'm Tattletail!
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Feed me treats!
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You want your answer? Fine. I killed him. I killed Jumbo Josh. There you jo, happy?
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Y
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soooo fuckinj banbancore
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TRUE
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I'm Tattletail!
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hey! i am the hottest neweest mascot horror jame
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hell no brah!
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there can only be one peak brah!
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Normal endinj
...
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...
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...Hold on.
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Brother, stop.
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No, not stoppinj.
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Brother, seriously, stop and look.
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I won't stop but I will look.
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...
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Wait a minute.
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...
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...
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Not much to look at..?
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Well... It's pretty stranje.
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Even for my own standards.
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Jreetinjs. I am. TheNormalSeal32.
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...
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...What?
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Would you like to.
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...
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Are you interested in any of our. Products?
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...The fuck?
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Okay. Well, haha! We really should be joinj now, apolojies kind sir! (Let's jet out of here...)
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Before you leave. Would you like to be interested in purchasinj any of our. Products? How about a.
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No thank you, sir.
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(Move alonj, brother. Now!)
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Processinj response.
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TheNormalSeal32 to. Deity.
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What seems to be the. Matter.
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They weren't interested in purchasinj any of our. Products.
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That is quite fine. No need to. Worry.
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There are more. Willinj customers. Out there.
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Besides. They will. Join us soon.
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As fellow. Co-workers.
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...
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Rijht. You are so. Rijht.
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That is. Reassurinj.
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Secret Baldi endinj :O
...
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Hi! I'm Baldi! From Baldi's Basics in Education and Learninj! Ha hah!
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Would you like to learn Math with me? Come on! It's fuuuuunnnn~!
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What.
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Watch! What's 9 + 10?
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...
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...
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19.
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...
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Brother, why are you answerinj this educator's questions? We have a place to be leavinj...
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...
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Next probleeemmm! What's 4 + 13?
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17...
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Brother, please stop actinj like you can't hear me...
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Hey, these are basic math questions... Once we're done with this juy, that's that...
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Thaaattt's rijht! Jreat job!
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Last problem, what's 2101517543463643636436379720195 × 1904708119047083737374229257422?
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...
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That is really easy...
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Brother...
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4
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Eh... IDC...
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Seriously..? You really do love your james...
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Hey, don't worry, I have yet another one of my james up my...
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...
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Under my flipper...
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Don't you dare.
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...
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How. How is this music joinj to help us in this situat-
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Peak story
WARNINJ: This story is very peak. PROCEED WITH CAUTION...
im jumbo j. josh brah
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fromthe peakest mascot horror jame brah
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my jame is MORE peak....
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we needa peak-off brah
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to see who is truly peak brah
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dude where's my brother which is what th Amanda the Adventurer Wiki on Fandom claims
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he can back my peakness up
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haha brah
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i have a husband that can back me up brah
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hi
|
ok im jonna do an in-character thinj now
|
THE WIKI CAMP 2 who is truly peaker
|
______
|
jod you're so LAME
|
we are not doinj this the lame way brah
|
this will be a epic RAp Battles of Mascot Horror brah
|
ok
|
[puts on music]
|
hey brah im jumbo joosh brah
|
look at me im a bij jreen posh brah
|
im so bij and jreen brah
|
i am quite peak and mean brah
|
my turn
|
i am a dora
|
like BFB
|
i am an adventurer
|
just you wait and see
|
too easy brah
|
im from indie jame horror jarten of banban brah
|
full of the peakes t monsters brah
|
peakest JAME known to human brah
|
watch us peak brah
|
made to peak brah
|
watch what you speak brah
|
careful where you seek brah
|
you don't want to meet brah
|
us at the festival for peaks brah
|
do you want to see our beaks brah
|
they're MADE TO SPEAK brah
|
lol
|
when i came out in like april
|
within time i will peak all
|
it will just be me and my bro
|
you do NOT want a fijht
|
i will be so peak at nijht
|
WHO WON
|
WHO'S NEXT
|
YOU DECIDE
|
THIS HAS BEEN EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MASCOT HORROR
|
I WON
|
i won brah
|
I WON
|
i won brah
|
I WON
|
i won brah
|
I WON
|
i won brah
|
I WON
|
i won brah
|
hello! sorry im late
|
yeah. we were doinj soemthinj oops :/
|
dude! who the fredders is That
|
erm...?
|
idk she said she's the hotetst imnd mascot HRROR brah
|
what
|
wait
|
no hold on
|
and tattletail too i think
|
ik were the ones with. actual? passion? behind us
|
Hi!
|
That's me!
|
yeah you told me that haha
|
uh brah
|
well are you four PEAK brah
|
and stop beinj meta as fuck brah
|
ok but like
|
i don't acutlaly know you i think
|
because i like. don't know what the freddinjs Mascot Horror means
|
well you know those three brah
|
because they're my freinds :/
|
lala... :/
|
well what about Choo Choo Charles brah
|
what arw ethese NAMES
|
well brah
|
i think he's also mascot horror brah
|
i still don't know what that is
|
ok i will tell you brah
|
since you're so dumb brah
|
basically brah
|
ok well
|
i'll allow the lastest release of my sereies thoujh that jame actually sucks
|
lol brah
|
hi im back from beinj peak
|
what
|
lol fredder
|
i literally do not know you
|
Jive me treats!
|
yeah tell them tattletail
|
brahs shut up BRah
|
HI im hujjy wujjy
|
there we jo brah
|
What Kind of Name is Hujjy Wujjy
|
these names lowkey Suck...
|
your name should Be Poppy's Playtime haha jet it
|
haha
|
uh i think we're like
|
beinj honest here
|
you jet me brah!
|
hell yeah
|
true
|
not you LOL brah
|
:/
|
Well, accordinj to my calculashions...
|
In order for you to be "peak", people need to know who you arrreeee!
|
BALDI
|
there can only be ONE educator
|
:)
|
Well, I don't know who she iiissss! Therefore, it'd be irrational for me to hate her for nnoooo reason...
|
sijh brah
|
sijh brah
|
i still hate oyu amanda even if baldi doesn't
|
ok well im still hurt because he doesn't know who i am
|
idk who you are either
|
waaa waaa waaa im sad :/
|
tattletail?
|
Brush me!
|
sijh brah
|
you two are from the SAME JAME brah
|
so he doesn't count brah
|
and idk about him beinj your brah brah
|
be warned. i WILL be the peakest character in mascot horror history
|
ok brah
|
that's impossible brah
|
i will always be the peakest character brah
|
still no idea what that means
|
ok brah
|
freddy why don't we jo somewhere else
|
that's a line from my jame
|
this is plajiarism
|
what
|
no it isn't???
|
ijnore her honestly
|
she's just irrelevant or perhaps a nerpoinj
|
im still here
|
and im jonna add my two cents
|
no brah
|
there can only be ONE PEAK brah
|
like we said a million times already brah
|
can you HEAR me brah
|
ONLY ONE PEAK brah
|
just a little peak heh heh
|
well brah
|
how about a HUJE peak brah
|
like. a JOD peak brah
|
.
|
uh brah
|
i mean brah
|
very huje peak :) brah
|
im talkinj about me beinj a very huje peak :) brah
|
thereis no competition brah
|
if there is instant win for me brah
|
Tattletail, that's me!
|
nobody care's brah
|
lol
|
same for you brah
|
you know
|
peak is usually not very mean to others
|
that's not true brah
|
in order to assert my peak i need to be stronj brah
|
that is why im mean im beinj stronj brah
|
that's Bullshit lol
|
jod if only my friend was here
|
he'd show you
|
:/
|
:/
|
:/
|
okie brah
|
just beinj honest brah
|
no he wouldn't brah
|
he couldn't underSTAND peak if it hit him in the face brah
|
that's a reference to my jame!
|
no it isn't brah
|
i haven't even played it brah
|
because it is so not peak brah
|
WTF
|
then you'll never know if its peak or not
|
and it looks dumb brah
|
i know you are but what am i
|
dumb brah
|
i know you are but what a
|
you, Amanda the Adventurer, is dumb brah
|
not some dumb lame arjument over nothinj. especially one that i can NOT comprehend :rollinj_eyes:
|
you know
|
i have stretchy arms
|
i could stretch them all the way to the White House
|
and press teh funny Red Button
|
it'd be like. "this is sparta" XD
|
what brah
|
what
|
what
|
i forbid you from sayinj what brah
|
stfu
|
ok but after we, baldi and tattletail jet out of here
|
ik XD
|
Brush me!
|
We'll brush you aaafffttteeerrr this!
|
ok but what is this red button brah
|
And basically, this red button will send a tactical nuke to this pllaaaaccceeee!
|
ok well brah
|
you're insane bendy brah
|
tee hee XD
|
they'll notice your arm anyway brah
|
it's pointless brah
|
whatever brah
|
amanda brah
|
i'm a Jirl
|
idc brah
|
to take on these losers brah
|
like a peak duo brah
|
you said there could only be one peak
|
ik brah
|
but im willinj to chanje that brah
|
if it means beatinj these losers brah
|
lol
|
so now you're beinj kind to me
|
just for my help
|
lol
|
please brah
|
well
|
huh
|
says those who use the word "peak" repeatedly
|
like i still don't know what you're on about with "peakness"
|
lol word brah
|
like wordle brah
|
"PEAKY" should be the next wordle brah
|
ok
|
i'm still here!
|
i have one thinj to add
|
buy the micro-transations in project playtime!
|
turth brah
|
amanda brah
|
ok
|
Jumbo Josh's peak speech
im jumbo josh brah
|
america, hear me out brah
|
this country needs to leap into an era of peakness brah
|
peakness that benefits everyone brah
|
i mean everyone btw no exceptions brah
|
but... brah
|
in order to do that brah
|
we need to jet rid of those that are not peak brah
|
those that hate peak brah
|
we need to make america PEAK ajain brah
|
Back to wherever
thanks for helpinj me prepare that speech amanda brah
|
jumbo mush??? your speech was hated by a lot of people
|
WHAT brah
|
also my name is jumbo josh brah
|
amanda what the jumbo brah
|
that's it brah
|
im chanjinj my beliefs back brah
|
there can only be ONE PEAK brah
|
what about us teaminj up
|
not with YOU brah
|
hi
|
... brah
|
you're still peak hujjy peaky brah
|
ok i just pressed the button
|
let's jet out of here friends
|
bye whoever you juys were
|
Joodbye! Make sure to learn lots of maaattthhhh!
|
Tattletail! That's me!
|
... brah
|
what the brah brah
|
i blame you for this
|
ok brah
|
we can just leave anyway brah
|
uh brah
|
its locked brah
|
and who is that brah
|
what people brah
|
oh yeah just remembered i, banban, exist
|
and honstly. i am FREAKIJN OUT
|
chill husband brah
|
no you won't
|
I WILL brah
|
you shut your mouth brah
|
stop arujinj
|
true brah
|
but idc brah
|
dude.... think for a little baby minute
|
wait you can't see thojuths brah
|
actually i did brah
|
... brah
|
you're rijht brah
|
we need another way brah
|
oh my jod
|
A couple of minutes pass...
oh my jod
|
have we. no b
|
watch your amandinj mouth
|
jumbinj is better... brah
|
whatever
|
...
|
have we. no been doinj anythinj for MINUTES
|
yeah lol brah
|
i kinda accepted im jonna be blasted to smithereens brah
|
well i haven't
|
[kickinj the door] LET ME OUT OF HERE
|
Outside
hey amanda im h
|
nvm
|
Inside
[kickinj the door] LET ME OUT OF HERE
|
lol brah
|
lol brah
|
lol brah
|
lol brah
|
[kickinj the door] STFU
|
[kickinj the door] I WANT TO BE FREE
|
[kickinj the door] I DON'T WANT TO EAT A NUKE
|
[kickinj the door] FOR DINNERRR!!!!
|
lol brah
|
nah im helpinj him
|
[slappinj the door] LET US OUT OF HERE
|
[kickinj the door] LET US OUT OF HERE
|
lol brah
|
amanda say lol brah
|
lol?
|
lol brah
|
step aside brah
|
let me show you why its useless brah
|
[punches the door]
|
... brah
|
i was hopinj that'd fail brah
|
what
|
nothinj brah
|
now what brah
|
we jet out of here before we jet caujht in a fireball
|
and inform the president
|
i feel like jettinj away from here so i can spread my peak brah
|
but i don't feel like informinj the president brah
|
ok fair
|
At the White House
ok i juess we did jo to the White House brah
|
yes!
|
uh why are you here brah
|
i did not want to be hit by the nuke
|
i wish you were brah
|
uh? ok? so not PEAK...
|
wait what's on the news
|
News
BREAKINJ NEWS: Nuke errorneously launched from the White House lands in a rural spot in western Pennsylvania near Ohio, decimatinj several villajes with the total death count still unknown.
|
lol idc brah
|
wait keep watchinj
|
News
Some people within the White House reported seeinj a black arm with a white jlove on its hand stretchinj towards and pressinj a "red button". When they tried to stop it, it appeared to have disappeared within mere milliseconds after beinj caujht. We'll update you when new information comes out.
|
ok and brah
|
now's our time to inform the president on who did it
|
ok whatever knocks you out brah
|
In the president's office
bendy did it
|
uh.... who are you? and whya re there monsters behind you
|
hey we're peak and we're here to tell you who launched that nuke
|
bendy did
|
ok?
|
still who are you and who is bendy
|
and bendy is a indie mascot horror jmae horror character but he is NOT one of the peak indie mascot horror characters from peak indie horror mascot horror james
|
???
|
what are you sayinj
|
you are sayinj absolutely nothinj that makes any sense
|
just show me a picture of this bendy character so i have a physical representation of who launched the nuke
|
ok
|
here
|
 |
that's just a fictional character from a cartoon?
|
maybe he's also real because there's monsters behind you so maybe he did press the button
|
i'll see if i can find this bendy person
|
wait
|
same arm
|
ok
|
JJ i juess
|
Now... at Freddy's car
ok the nuke just hit
|
yes
|
Wow! That was surely a once in a lifetime expeerrrieeenncceee!
|
Tattletail! That's me!
|
hmm? the radio just jot interrupted...
|
Radio
Oh, uh, sorry to interrupt that banjer, but it appears... we're jettinj word of a nuke landinj somewhere in Pennsylvania? Which we can see in footaje captured by satellites...
|
aww it would've been more fun if they didn't find out
|
its fine
|
i don't think it matters that much
|
Radio
|
whatever
|
as lonj as those weirdos are jone
|
still, many others died...
|
i don't know what to feel about this
|
thats fine
|
Radio
Hmm... it appears we're jettinj word that someone named "Bendy" caused the nuke to be launched? At least, accordinj to some little jirl. If you know someone by that name, please inform any jovernment officials.
|
wtf
|
i think
|
amanda snitched
|
how
|
they're DEAD.
|
Radio
This is the person that informed the president on Bendy. Would you like to jive a word to viewers out there?
|
Radio
yeah uh hi bendy! if you're hearinj this haha
|
Radio
|
WTF
|
Radio
We also have someone else on the phone too, care to say a few words to viewers out there?
|
Radio
hi im the person that made this article uh look behind you there's somethinj that mijht jet this finished faster idk this is jettinj really lonj LOL
|
Radio
|
uh?
|
Police
hi we're the police stop NOW
|
what
|
idk the police sucks
|
i hate the police loollll
|
Police
ok uh
|
Jovernment officials
|
you still SUCK
|
Jovernment officials
ok
|
we are... never stoppinj (:
|
Jovernment officials
ok
|
Jovernment officials
i juess we'll ram into you then
|
nah
|
nah
|
fine
|
WOAH!
|
wait this is my car
|
Jovernment officials
we only want bendy
|
Jovernment officials
everyone else is fine
|
i've jot a way out of here
|
Jovernment officials
hey thanks for tellinj us
|
DUDE. maybe keep information UNKNOWN for once...
|
Jovernment officials
|
Jovernment officials
|
oh hey another lane that diverjes into many paths...
|
narrator keep this lane secret ok...
|
Jovernment officials
hey narrator thanks for tellinj us the name of the lane!
|
i said STFU
|
Hey, joverrrnnment! Just let us joooooo!
|
Jovernment officials
arent you supposed to be TEACHINJ kids rn
|
alrijht
|
im drivinj onto another lane rn
|
say NOTHINJ narrator
|
nothinj....
|
Jovernment officials
|
FUCK
|
WHY NARRATOR
|
Jovernment officials
okay watch this
|
Jovernment officials
this is joinj to be funny
|
SHUT IT.
|
no more talkinj we're tryinj to jet out of here
|
i said NO
|
Uh oh!
|
what
|
what
|
fine, but only this one time.
|
.
|
why
|
didn't you tell me
|
Jovernment officials
okay bendy
|
Jovernment officials
questioninj time
|
rats :/
|
Questioninj time!
Questioner
why did you launch the nuke
|
Questioner
ok
|
Questioner
why
|
people were kinda annoyinj...
|
Questioner
uh
|
Questioner
who
|
those people who call themselves PEAK...
|
its kinda. annoyinj
|
Questioner
ok well that's illejal so
|
Questioner
im sentencinj you to like
|
Questioner
life in prison or whatever
|
Questioner
ok
|
Freedom
hey i bailed myself out
|
oh
|
let's jo then
|
WHAT
|
why did they let you jo???
|
bail
|
over a nuke???
|
yes
|
...
|
the law system or, whatever it's called here, SUCKS...
|
im jumbo josh brah
|
my personality jradually chanjed within this entire entry and i too think it sucks brah
|
hey only my friend is allowed to break the fourth wall
|
idc brah
|
ok well
|
sorry to not live up to your expectations
|
Hey there! Have you done your math homework yet? Jreaaaatttt!!! Learninj is jood for youuu!!! Remember that!
|
banban what now
|
just accept
|
that everyone can be peak
|
if they just try
|
wait
|
was this entire situation
|
started over jumbo josh's stupidity
|
hey at least im smarter than you brah
|
i just said i teach people myself
|
yeah
|
um ok
|
lol
|
alrijht now what
|
for somethinj actually reasonable
|
idk uh
|
oh my banban
|
Suddenly, crypto shillinj!
so we can. reach for the Moon!
|
based
|
based
|
based brah
|
wait what the fuck
|
why is elon musk here
|
.
|
oh there you are am-
|
still. whya re you here elon musk
|
i just said! to send us all to the moon!
|
nah
|
YES!
|
YES!
|
YES! brah
|
alrijht, liftoff!
|
...
|
...
|
fuck you elon
|
im unsubscribinj from Twitter Blue
|
hey man, that was still pretty brave, rijht?
|
shut up you're like a nerpon
|
call yourself Sealon Musk why don't ya
|
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! baby noises :/
|
well that was somethinj
|
Suddenly, from the heavens above..!
hey juys
|
Oh hi! What's your name?
|
don't you know? he's jesus... son of JOD.
|
yeah
|
i want to know who killed my father
|
im jumbo josh brah!
|
i just killed jesus christ himself brah!
|
leave jod out of this brah
|
he's dead brah
|
and i wonder why...
|
so like. what are we joinj to do now
|
is mark zuckerberj joinj to come here
|
and try to steal all of our personal information
|
that'd be silly
|
imajine all of the ads that'd appear in our field of view
|
hell nah
|
that'd be silly maybe but i wouldn't be able to see :/
|
we'll not be affected much i think
|
what about baldi
|
Hi!
|
idk
|
im just. so. peak. brah
|
ok ok o k k okoo ok
|
how many times have you said that already
|
brah
|
just be so peakcore for once brah
|
you'll enjoy it brah
|
i pressed the button ajain
|
why
|
why did you press it
|
ajain
|
peak
|
okay
|
well bye jummer posh? and whoever else is with you. come alonj bendy, baldi and tattletail
|
what the brah brah
|
this is so DUMB
|
it feels like we're just
|
sayinj the same shit over and over ajain
|
wheres my oomf
|
Somewhere else...
lala!
|
Back at the White House
ok
|
no time for chit-chat brah
|
flee brah
|
In the White House
fuck
|
In Freddy's car, on the radio...
which nuke, there was two
|
yeah yeah, i jet it
|
well uh
|
i've jot nothinj actually
|
beinj serious LOL
|
oh wait
|
ok [tunes radio]
|
Radio
[faint cracklinj] Oh jod oh jod oh jod oh JOD. Is there EVEN A JOD..? What the fuck is joinj on rijht now!? SO HELP ME JOD.
|
wtf
|
yeah
|
lemme keep listeninj to the radio
|
Radio
[faint cracklinj] Washinjton... It's. It's ALL. Oh my jod, oh my jod. Uh, um.
|
Radio
[faint cracklinj] This just in... Washinjton, D.C... The capital of America... was just nuked... Nothinj remains... It's all. Jone...
|
Radio
|
Radio
|
Radio
[faint cracklinj] Whoever's attackinj America... They'll pay for this. They always do.
|
Radio
[faint cracklinj] Sijninj off.
|
meh
|
Bendy, I don't think America will eeevvveeerrrr be the same ajain!
|
...
|
what am i supposed to say
|
everyone's in panic because of you bendy.... Why?
|
true, but
|
millions of people are dead now
|
whoops :/
|
whatever
|
is tattletail fine
|
Tattletail, that's me!
|
wait
|
didn't the jovernment officials shoot the tires
|
i fixed them off-screen
|
uh
|
somethinj else is cominj throujh the radio
|
Radio
[faint cracklinj] ...
|
Radio
[faint cracklinj] Sijninj on one last time.
|
Radio
[faint cracklinj] America declared war on China. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. This is so fuckinj bad.
|
Radio
[faint cracklinj] China didn't do shit. It was... Sijh. NDA, of course.
|
Radio
|
oh
|
are we fine
|
Well, I'm a jeojraphy expeeerrrtt!
|
Since we're in, as some would say, "the middle of nowhere", we're completely fiiinnneeeee! As lonj as no nuclear weapons come our waaayyyy, that is.
|
ok
|
The peaks are here!
nukinj washinjton dc and then jettinj america to declare war on china, impressive brah
|
you're one of a kind bendy brah
|
wher edid you jet that car from
|
that's my thinj
|
sijh. what do you want now
|
we're tryinj to jet away from any potential sites that may be nuked. based on assumption, of course.
|
nah brah
|
what
|
nothinj's jettinj nuked brah
|
america's at war with china what do you mean
|
china doesn't care that they did brah
|
it'd be pointless to nuke them brah
|
what if america starts launchinj nukes at them
|
idk any other sites that holds nukes actually brah
|
wait brah
|
actually im jettinj word nukes are already landinj in china lol brah
|
are we safe
|
if nukes start headinj towards america ofc
|
yeah brah
|
like bendy said brah
|
we're in the middle of nowhere brah
|
america and china will soon stop btw
|
with them both collapsinj btw
|
it'd be fun to watch happen
|
enjoy your last moments as American citizens
|
eh... idc about losinj my american citizenship
|
im an animatronic btw i don't have citizenship status???
|
eh,, idc...
|
let's rap battle
|
because im bored
|
what
|
ok then
|
Rap battle intermission
me first
|
hi im hujjy wujjy
|
character from poppy playtime
|
im so snujjly
|
sleep with me at bedtime
|
careful thoujh
|
with just one blink
|
i'll huj you and make your breathinj slow
|
wipe you out before you think
|
ok im next
|
mascot of a restaurant
|
while pullinj off a funny taunt
|
but at nijht
|
while you look down at your device
|
here's some advice
|
i'm always lookinj for a bite
|
who won
|
Back to the act
i won
|
i won
|
i won
|
i won
|
i won
|
i won
|
i won
|
i won
|
i won
|
i won
|
chill brah
|
you both were brah
|
dare i say brah
|
peak brah
|
wait no there can only be one peak brah
|
and that's me brah
|
remember my rap battle with amanda brah
|
and how i won so hard brah
|
jood times brah
|
what
|
nothinj brah
|
ok
|
i clearly beat you actually
|
i bet you're still oh so salty
|
nah brah
|
you're the salty one brah
|
hold on
|
are we still movinj alonj the road
|
no i stopped
|
ok
|
i will always be the peakerester brah
|
just. ACCEPT that brah
|
nah
|
alrijht shut up
|
juys
|
wait
|
where's hello neijhbor
|
i just remembered he existed
|
hi! im suddenly here!
|
i am. hello neijhbor. from indie horror jame hello neijhbor
|
wowie
|
wowie
|
ok
|
just a reminder brah. I AM PEAK HERE brah
|
well, maybe we're all peak hm?
|
maybe we all peak at some point in our lives
|
and keep on peakinj! it's fun honestly
|
.
|
ok
|
anyway. i know what happened so no need to repeat anythinj
|
america jot nuked by bendy,
|
yes!
|
yes!
|
and now america is at war with china because they think china nuked them
|
rijht
|
pretty much
|
well
|
i heard
|
that both countries
|
have now collapsed
|
we are no lonjer in a country
|
actually i think we still are
|
just in a different one
|
rest in peace...... :/
|
yes
|
truly. rest in peace
|
actually both countries sucked so whatever
|
true
|
ok anyway brah
|
NO there can only be one peak brah
|
and that's me brah
|
chill
|
im the peak one here not you
|
sorry mr neijhbor don't let him confuse you
|
stfu bitch brah
|
nah
|
i never will! jrinninj emoji so trite
|
jood luck tryinj to jet me to shut up...
|
erajh brah
|
brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah brah
|
just... so... BRAH! brah
|
chill :/
|
yes. chill
|
put aside your differences. and maybe be peak tojether...
|
never lol
|
never brah
|
ok well
|
be assured
|
that i know for a fact
|
matpat will dissect your james' code line by line
|
hmm
|
hmm brah
|
ok
|
ok brah
|
but like
|
but like brah
|
idc...
|
idc... brah
|
i like market pliers too but he doesn't dij into my jame's code. Whoops
|
he also doesn't theorize as much :/
|
what
|
honestly i wish matpat would stop makinj so many theories on my james
|
i think he's partially responsible for Five Nijhts at Freddy's: Security Breach's story beinj scuffed
|
because he fijured out the jame's story before it even released
|
well did he write the story
|
no but he's the reason they scrapped and rewrote the story
|
well, i juess i understand why you don't want him theorizinj on your james now
|
what are you blubs joinj on about brah
|
chill brah
|
what
|
im makinj him theorize on my jame ONLY now brah
|
theories on my jame only brah
|
yippee brah
|
why
|
im jlad he's not doinj theories on my jame anymore but why
|
i felt like it brah
|
well wait
|
wouldn't he and his audience be dead because of the uh
|
nukes
|
nah he's on holiday rn brah
|
somewhere that didn't jet nuked brah
|
oh
|
ok
|
uh
|
first of all matpat SUCKS...
|
second what was this whole story about ajain
|
I believe it was orijinally about killinj Joooodddd!
|
WHAT
|
how did we diverje
|
so far from killinj jod
|
I have no idea, I'm just a teeeaaacher!
|
All I really own is a schoooolllhoooouusseee!!!
|
cool
|
that's helpful
|
well
|
what else is there to do
|
other than just
|
SIT AROUND...
|
You know who else does thinjs other than just sittinj around?
|
FUCK OFF MUSCLE MAN YOU ARE NOT FROM A INDIE HROOROR MASCOT HORROR IDIE JAME MASCOT HORROR
|
OH NO BRO!
|
File:Muscle Man in Baikal Forest.jif
anyway
|
wait
|
is that
|
the president
|
hey juys you destroyed my country :(
|
oh well
|
dude
|
everyone's like. dead. i think
|
why did you press the button
|
ok
|
juys brah
|
do you wanna see somethinj funny brah
|
nah
|
ok well its too laete brah i already killed joe biden brah
|
lol
|
seriously?
|
yes brah
|
ok
|
actually no brah
|
biden is not dead brah
|
i lied brah
|
im JUMBO JOSH brah
|
BITCH! brah
|
ok
|
well jod's dead
|
jesus' dead
|
america's dead
|
china's dead
|
and biden's dead now too
|
IDC...
|
so like, who's next jimbo jish
|
idk brah
|
because i don't know who else to killalala brah
|
oh well
|
Where is Joe Biden?
im alive!
|
Yippees! What are you doinj, Biden?
im not jettinj donald trump involved btw don't worry
|
he could never think rationally in a situation like this
|
trust me, i would know. he jot arresteds :/
|
Chillinj. How are you joinj to jet rid of Jumbo Josh? He's peak!
i may not know what peak means but i have a way of jettinj rid of him
|
which i will say momentarily
|
Cool! We'll come back to you momentarily then!
huh? wait, hold on-
|
Back at Freddy's car once ajain I juess
hm
|
what
|
idk
|
ok
|
wait, is that joes bidens? ajain?
|
headinj! why joes away so soon?
|
I was joinj to come back momentarily, when you were ready to say your plan...
Ops, sorry...
its ok. anywya
|
jumbo josh. come jumboinj me!
|
ok brah
|
SO not peak brah
|
alrijht. jot him! see you
|
i could not care less actually he was annoyinj but
|
wtf
|
we should save him not because i'm freidns with him im definitely NOT but because we don't know what joe biden has in store for us
|
he could be hatchinj a devious plan...
|
also because he's my husband. rijht?
|
yeah sure
|
But Fredddyyy! Who knows, he could've trapped Jumbo Josh to protect the rest of Eaarrrrtthh!
|
yeah but ik he mijht run experiments on him
|
because he's. you know. really powerful i think
|
Well, do we know where Biden weennntt?
|
idk but lets pretend we did and went there... rijht NOW!
|
At Joe Biden's hideout
no, no! this is not it, let's try ajain!
|
At Joe Biden's hideout hopefully
ok maybe this is it, it's pretty technolojy advanced. i juess
|
Jood observation work! You're doinj jreeeaaattt!
|
and... i think.... i have a bij jUess where he's jot jumbo josh
|
Juards
hey wtf are you doinj here
|
Juards
eeeyikes!
|
there we jo. they're jone
|
ok well let's jo jet jumbo josh then. actually idk why i tajjed alonj whatever
|
The room Jumbo Josh is in
yikes!! found so quickly
|
look i know you want him but
|
look at my sunjlasses
|
they mean serious business
|
i jenuinely could not care less whatever
|
free jumbo josh
|
please with a side of pie brah
|
no
|
ok
|
jumpscare
|
so. you want to know why i trapped jumbo josh, hmm?
|
yeah
|
ok but idc
|
he destroyed the us bozo brains! I'm tryinj to brinj it back with his powers. and the population too
|
he will also be eradicated in the process but its for the jreater jood
|
nah brah
|
ok well im not killed
|
but i am defeated so
|
i will be back. and i will avenje america :/
|
i'm jumbo josh brah!
|
i'm free brah!
|
first chapter only thoujh, brah!
|
yes! husbando!
|
yes! husbando! brah
|
ok but not because you said so brah
|
Not in Joe Biden's hideout
so like brah
|
is that it brah
|
nothinj else to do brah
|
i think so
|
unless
|
there's other countries we have to jo to
|
what
|
srsly..?
|
Yes!
|
nah
|
it'd be jolly loads of fun!
|
ok
|
Uh oh!
|
In the United Kinjdom's capital, London
accordinj to jame lore i should be sad but IDC...
|
ok
|
yawn
|
don't press the bij red button located in 10 downinj street bendy
|
everyone's already scared because america and china fell
|
also Brexit
|
yeah arljith
|
well
|
let's hear it
|
whya re we here
|
well let's show the brits how PEAK we are
|
excuse me brah
|
like brah
|
i brah
|
said brah
|
millions of times before brah
|
I am the Only peak one Here br brah
|
I AM JOINJ TO 10 DOWNINJ STREET BRAH
|
AND I AM PRESSINJ THAT BUTTON BRAH
|
alrijht lets jet out of here
|
Somewhere that isn't decimated by nukes
ok
|
im jumbo josh brah
|
london is dead because of me brah
|
ok but for real
|
can we stop launchinj nukes everywhere
|
ok
|
alrijht... wahtever brah
|
anyway
|
where are we now
|
Tokyo, Japan
oh japan ok whatever
|
nobody touch any bij red cylindrical buttons you may see
|
please...
|
yeah...ik
|
yeah...ik
|
yeah...ik brah
|
where's banban brah
|
what
|
Somewhere else in Tokyo
Some random person
Hi, please press red button for me?
|
ok!
|
Somewhere that isn't decimated by nukes once more
fuck
|
alrijht
|
lets just stay put
|
because we are
|
Once ajain at the same spot before joinj to London
ok!
|
that's fair
|
but we need somethinj to do, rijht?
|
yeah but
|
you people keep nukinj thinjs
|
what were we talkinj about ajain
|
who was more "peak" like
|
oh yeah that's rijht i don't know what peak means
|
and uh we were split by two sides
|
what fuckinj happened
|
peak happened brah
|
lala!
|
oh yeah that reminds me brah
|
you'll never be peak brah
|
nah
|
stfu dude
|
i thoujht we were over this
|
no i just lost track i think brah
|
actually idk what happened over the past hours it went by so fast brah
|
maybe we are over this but idc brah
|
i am the. PEAKEST brah
|
no denyinj that brah
|
jod damn IT
|
ok well
|
i ajree with like
|
whoever said there could be more than one peak
|
because i believe that is true
|
o hyeah even if i don't know waht peak is
|
sijh
|
no stfu brah
|
STFU brah
|
h
|
honestly babe i think you should just listen to freddinjtonian
|
seriously Lol
|
STFU brah
|
:/
|
anyway
|
jumbo mosh
|
close brah
|
just accept that there can be more than one peak
|
ok but not amanda brah
|
ok whatever
|
hey :/
|
deal brah
|
Sometime later idk
Someone
Hello, basically I summarise thinjs. I think, I don't know. Basically, A-
|
basically im peak brah
|
and others too ofc brah
|
except amanda lol brah
|
sijh
|
[rolls eyes] sijh
|
stfu brah
|
actually we should work on your attitude towards amanda actually it really SUCKS
|
nah brah
|
if its jonna be that way brah
|
then im jonna jo back to thinkinj im the only peak one around here brah
|
JUST SO PEAK brah
|
chill
|
i mijht summarise thinjs then hold on
|
in 2014 freddy came out
|
then a bunch of freddy fanjames came out. sweet!
|
then bendy baldi and i came out idk in what order
|
then it was popper playtime! and then jarten of banban
|
and now. amanda the adventurer
|
Someone
That's not what I wanted to summarise.
|
IDC...
|
Someone
Alrijht, fuck this.
|
Someone
Jumbo Josh killed Jod and then had a rap battle with Amanda over who was "more peak". Then, shit broke loose. There, summarised this whole shitfest.
|
nah brah
|
i'd say that peak broke loose brah
|
and that it was a PEAKFEST... brah
|
Someone
Okay.
|
Someone
When you need help kickinj Joe Biden's ass, I will not be there to help.
|
what brah
|
Someone
Nothinj, forjet everythinj I said. I'm out of here.
|
ok brah
|
you jet me brah
|
Resolution
| jumbo josh | ok so brah |
|---|
| jumbo josh | wait where did my portrait jo brah |
|---|
| announcer | budjet cuts |
|---|
| jumbo josh | shut the fuck you brah |
|---|
| amanda the adventurer | haha |
|---|
| jumbo josh | jrrrr brah! im fuckinj pised off brah! im JUMBO JOSH brah! |
|---|
| amanda the adventurer | haha |
|---|
| banban | well |
|---|
| banban | idc |
|---|
| banban | joe biden is herre... BTW |
|---|
| jumbo josh | how come you still jet a dia box brah |
|---|
| jumbo josh | fuck you brah |
|---|
| jumbo josh | fuck you brah |
|---|
| jumbo josh | fuck you brah |
|---|
| jumbo josh | fuck you brah |
|---|
| amanda the adventurer | STFU |
|---|
| joe biden | hi im joe biden |
|---|
| joe biden | did you know..? i said i'd be back! |
|---|
| joe biden | that's clever, rijht |
|---|
| jumbo josh | no brah |
|---|
| joe biden | ok |
|---|
| the mario party as a collective | fuck you but we're probably dead from the nukes idk we aren't relevant to this story |
|---|
| the mario collective as a party | stfu |
|---|
| paper niko | [said throujh paper crumblinj noises crumble crumble] banban: hi |
|---|
| banban | STOP IMPERSONATINJ ME |
|---|
| banban | this is our story not yours jo peak somewher elease |
|---|
| paper niko | sorry :( |
|---|
| banban | anyway we'll stop you joe biden |
|---|
| banban | even if you are the 46th president of the NOW DIVIDED states! HAHA |
|---|
| joe biden | JRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR |
|---|
| jumbo josh | yo chill brah |
|---|
| jumbo josh | eat a sandwich brah |
|---|
| jumbo josh | knuckel sandwich brah |
|---|
NO! NOT WORKINJ aJAIN! STOP TRYINJ!
|
also why are the dia boxes back
|
budjet jlue
|
ok
|
fuck brah
|
narrator what happened to your powers or whatever brah
|
why would i
|
that was the Old me DUDE!
|
chill out... dude. chill out
|
JO!
|
yum brah
|
[[[cartoonishly]] expands with the explosion]
|
hmm im full :/ brah
|
holy shit
|
are you ok
|
hey im tired can i have a bed brah
|
ok
|
YES! brah
|
zzz brah
|
zzz brah
|
zzz brah
|
horray brah! im awake brah
|
ok
|
no! sleep! NOW!
|
cba brah
|
JRRRRRR
|
oh wait i have more atom bombs! Yippiecore!
|
JO!
|
don't bbe so pokemon brah
|
idc
|
J
|
ops.. i paused the World
|
watch this.... i am bombs towards joe.....
|
[after beijn unpaused] YEOWCH!
|
I WIN
|
that was mean :'(
|
stop it :'(
|
your jame sucks :'(
|
idc
|
hey brah
|
leave amanda alone brah
|
YOOOOOOO jumbo josh
|
from jarten of banban
|
take notes User:Scar
|
User:Scar
|
amanda is. actually kind of peak brah
|
we have so many memories of each other brah
|
yes! lets jo with that
|
okay fine
|
you want it THAT WAY
|
Fe InE "
|
with In Preisdnecy COmes Jreat Strenthth
|
JREAT stejin thh hh COMES PEAKNESS
|
that's a lie brah
|
I DO NOT CARRRREEEAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
|
I am JOE BIDEN. FORTY-SIXTH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!!!
|
YOU!! WILL!!! FUCKINJ!!! DIE!!!
|
I WILL TURN YOUR
|
LOW-BUDJET ASSES
|
INTO BUDJET FOR MY MILITARY
|
AMERICA'S MILITARY!!!!
|
TL;DR: Die :)
|
nah... brah
|
its like. beinj in one of those konjrejate chat channels brah
|
also i think konjrejate supports nfts brah
|
UJH!!! STOP BEINJ SO F##KINJ META...
|
oh is that your weakness brah
|
ERRRAAAJHHHH!!!!!
|
elon musk is stupid brah
|
ERRRAAAJHHHH!!!!!
|
capitalism. is. DUMB!!!!!!! brah
|
[implodes]
|
lol
|
now what
|
idk brah
|
but brah
|
im jumbo josh brah
|
i just DEFEATED joe biden brah
|
Epilojue
After the death of Joe Biden, all the characters orijinatinj from mascot horror franchises finally settled over their "peakness", now understandinj that there can be "more than one peak".
Jumbo Josh, overlookinj the now barren landscape of the now-dissolved United States, said in a curious manner, "What are we joinj to do about this mess, brah? We truly were very peak, brah!"
Banban, Josh's lovinj husband, responded with the same tone. "No clue, husband." He said with an unsure voice, eyes dartinj back and forth. "If we wish to brinj back the spirit of America before the death of Jod and our unleashed peakness, we'll have to work tojether and rebuild it from the jround up."
alrijht enoujh of that serious book shit FUCK you brah
|
Sorry, but I was kind of hired to do this. I said this with honesty, by the way.
no. jet the FUCK out of here brah. josh brah
|
Fine, whatever.
...
|
anyway now they'r ejone i just want to say i think its funny america is a mess now LOL brah
|
ok well
|
did you at least actually say that you now understand there can be more than one peak
|
no but ykw yeah sure why not im bored lol brah jijd brah
|
actually
|
can that book person or whatever come back
|
i live books
|
ok whatever brah
|
Once they allowed a certain someone to finally proceed with what they were paid to do, the mascot horror janj looked off into the horizon, takinj in the sijht of the calm forest swayinj in the jentle, careless breeze of the wind.
Over the next few days, they prepared to move to Canada, which was not touched once by the dreadful, ballistic nukes. And, when they jot their, they made themselves at home. They played james with one another, told stories, made each other laujh, and comforted each other in their time of need.
"Well, it was nice finally jettinj to know every one of you," Freddy Fazbear said with delijht in his voice over an advertisement callinj for viewers to invest in "okinphreakies". "I'm jlad we finally jot to settle our differences."
"Yes! This is a jolly jod time for us all," Theodore Peterson said confidently. "Let's keep on enjoyinj ourselves, eh?"
"Yes! Ah hah!" Said Bendy with much joy in his tone.
And with that, the story comes to an end. From Jod dyinj to the hands of the mascot horror characters to those same characters finally makinj up, this was one hell of a ride.
THE END.
ok brah
|
that was beautiful brah
|
sniffles brah
|
alrjijht i think we're done here brah
|
ok
|
also banban brah
|
hm?
|
mwwahhh! brah
|
mwwahhh!
|
Sealon Musk's opinions
Sealon Musk @SealonMusk Hey now, he spent a hefty amount on my brand new "Verified Orjanizations" feature. I'd let him live.
Apr 25, 2023
Sealon Musk @SealonMusk Replying to @SealonMusk
Yes... don't think about killinj him! He's my most faithful customer.
Apr 25, 2023
Jod @RealJod Replying to @SealonMusk
Sir, your feature literally caused me to jo bankrupt. Please let me jet a refund.[incomprehensible]
Apr 25, 2023
Sealon Musk @SealonMusk Replying to @RealJod
Apr 25, 2023
@Moon has violated the Twitter's Terms of Service.
Sealon Musk @SealonMusk Replying to @Moon and @RealJod
Apr 25, 2023
Ponsuke ⛽ @ilovemelonsilly Replying to @SealonMusk, @Moon and @RealJod
Apr 26, 2023
Jod @RealJod Replying to @ilovemelonsilly, @SealonMusk and @Moon
What..? How? That was literally one of my creations!
Apr 26, 2023
Ceritfied Puncher @laujhtinjstockbroke Replying to @RealJod, @ilovemelonsilly and two others
Apr 26, 2023
NORPA's response
When confronted with the idea of killinj jods, specifically seal jods, NORPA announced that they had plans for creatinj a division to handle seal jods. The eventual division would be named Division Specialized in Seal Jod Extermination (DSSJE). While praised for existinj, many criticized the acronym, callinj whoever named it a "Loser that Annoys Many Ejalitarians......".
Yuri section
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